‘Hate cannot drive out hate, you need love for that’

Since Thursday night, I haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the library here at Dartmouth.

Eventually I reached out to my brother back home in Cleveland to see if he had heard about what was going on.

My brother, Marshall, became a member of my family when I was a freshman in high school when he moved to my school district with his grandmother. He never knew his dad, his mom passed away when he was in middle school and now his grandma is passed.

Marshall and I grew up in very different environments, but I love him as my brother.  Having him as a part of my life has made such a difference to me. He has acted not only as a big brother, but as an incredible role model and is someone that I feel always looks out for me.

I’ve never walked in an African American’s shoes, but having Marshall in my family has made me at least a bit more aware of what it’s like.  I hate it that if one my white male friends is cold, he can put up the hood on his hoodie without giving it a second thought, but if Marshall does so he has to think about where he is and what message it sends.

I hate that when Marshall texted my mom that he was being pulled over while he was driving my dad’s truck, she felt like she needed to fly over to the scene to be sure he wasn’t being profiled or suspected of stealing the truck (turns out he made an illegal right turn on red).

Because I felt so upset and frightened about what was happening here at Dartmouth, and did not know how to deal with it, I wanted to know Marshall’s opinions on the matter. What he texted back to me brought me to tears:

“To tell you the truth stuff like this really disgusts me. To see black people acting this way breaks my heart. When I was coming up in Lorain everyone was broke — blacks, whites, Hispanics everyone, so there was no racism that I experienced in my earlier years.

Then when I moved here, a pair of white people literally saved my life. I do not know if I would have made it out of Lorain alive if it wasn’t for your parents. So that’s my experience for what it’s worth.

Like I said, it breaks my heart to see stuff like this. Dr. King said darkness cannot drive out darkness, you need light for that, just like hate cannot drive out hate, you need love for that. The most influential man in African American history would not approve of what some blacks are doing. He did not risk his life every day and die for us to act like this.

Then the apostle Paul from the bible says, “do not become weary in doing what’s right because in due time you will reap what you sow, if we do not give up.” And doing what’s right is not verbally assaulting people. Doing what’s right is loving people despite what they do. That’s what Dr. King said.”

Reading Marshall’s thoughts, his words resonated greatly with me. I know Marshall doesn’t speak for all African Americans, and that he didn’t mean that all African Americans are verbally assaulting people — he was just responding to my text about what was upsetting about the Dartmouth protest.

He didn’t intend for me to publish his text, but he gave me permission when I asked.

But, his words about Dr. King really helped me understand why I have been so upset and conflicted. I agree that there are serious issues in our society that need to be addressed, but the manner in which they are addressed that makes a difference.

I support the efforts at Mizzou and across the country, and the concept of the Black Lives Matter movement. What bothers me is how the protest at Dartmouth played out.

The events in the library, first reported by my fellow Dartmouth Tab writer Charlie Lundquist, and later by the rest of the Dartmouth media, have now gone global.

It’s one thing to approach someone for physically doing something or saying something racist but, in my opinion, it crosses a line when bystanders are verbally attacked for doing homework and studying in a public space.

It really upsets me that this movement, based on legitimate concerns and something that has great potential to make a difference, has become so polarizing.  It has divided our campus into an “us” versus “them” mentality where each group has their own entrenched opinions but there is no discussion.

I have to say I was scared to even consider writing this piece because I knew that if I said anything I would get scrutinized and maybe harassed for my opinions as a member of a majority race.

There does not seem to be much room for conversation right now, but there needs to be.

This is such a polarizing issue and people are afraid to discuss it. Nobody wants to be the person to write or say something controversial. But, how can we get anywhere if we don’t actually talk about what’s happening in a critical manner, keeping emotions under control and addressing the true problem?

As Dartmouth students, we are smart, driven, and passionate about making a change in the world, so we need to consider how we can use our strengths as a campus in a constructive manner.