I tried the Cabbage Soup Detox Diet and it was as horrible as it sounds

Fad diets and health myths pollute the world of weight loss. Those hoping to quickly drop pounds are enticed by harmful pills and restricting diets that promise unbelievable results.

In recent years, juice cleanses have become increasingly popular. Blueprint Cleanse, found in drug and grocery stores, claims to jumpstart your weight loss journey with their low-calorie liquids. Their simplest cleanse is $65 for one day of six juices, which is too short to attain “results.”

But fear not, soup cleanses are the newest fad and while pre-made packages have steep prices, many recipes are available online. While juice cleanses have been praised for rapid weight loss and simultaneously criticized for the methods behind this (low calorie intake, lack of necessary nutrients, borderline starvation), soup cleanses may be healthier. The NY Daily News writes, “Pressing juice removes the fibers and pulps of fruit that are meant to be consumed, while soup generally packs more protein and fewer carbs…and is less likely to cause blood sugar levels to soar or plummet.”

I’ve had too many people tell me that juice cleanses, while potentially unsafe, are a great way to lose weight, reset your GI system, and feel better. Be warned, it’s still unclear if these programs actually detox your body and if detoxes at all are really necessary. The Huffington Post reminds readers that our bodies already have “methods of detoxification” via the liver and kidneys that can “activate [detoxing] without the use of fancy diets.” Nonetheless, Shape Magazine argues, “A seasonal detox is an effective way to clear your body of toxins, which will speed up your metabolism and enhance your overall health.” Many others agree. Curious and indifferent to losing a few pounds knowing I’d regain them post-cleanse, I embarked on a journey to fairly weigh in on cleansing.

Let me introduce the Cabbage Soup Detox Diet

The cleansing diet consists of eating cabbage soup two to three times a day along with other allowed foods. At 66 calories per cup, this soup contains cabbage, green peppers, onions, carrots, tomatoes, mushrooms, celery, and herbs or spices. To maximize any potential flavor, I made my soup in a slow cooker. Although websites’ recommendations vary, I used the following guidelines for my additional allowances:

• Day one: Fruits except bananas
• Day two: Leafy green and non-starchy vegetables (helpful list here)
• Day three: Fruits and vegetables
• Day four: Bananas and skim milk
• Day five: Beef or chicken and tomatoes
• Day six: Beef and vegetables
• Day seven: Unsweetened fruit juice, brown rice, and vegetables

Vegetarians can substitute tofu for meat based on days five through seven. Sources suggested drinking eight or more cups of water each day, so I followed that too.

Day one

Food consumed: Starbucks fruit cup, green apple, mixed berries, 1 cup of soup

Hunger: Increasingly hungry as the day progressed

Feeling: Frustrated with how long it takes to prepare such bland soup

Cheats: Coffee, green tea

Weight loss: None

Day two

Food consumed: 1½ red bell peppers, ½ cucumber, 1 zucchini, ½ package of mushrooms

Hunger: Even more hungry when I finally eat and am so dissatisfied with what I’m tasting

Feeling: Tired during a long day of classes so I refueled with some protein (hummus and falafel), jealous during a catered event where I reached for a pickle slice

Cheats: Coffee, condiment cup of hummus, 1 falafel, 1 serving sriracha to cook vegetables in, ¼ pickle

Weight loss: 1 pound

Day three

Food consumed: Grapefruit, salad (baby spinach, mushrooms, onions, oranges, cranberries, peas), vegetable crudité without dip

Hunger: So. Hungry.

Feeling: Moody, exhausted, and beginning to feel sick and weak

Cheats: Coffee, 1 serving of pretzels, my entire dinner

Weight loss: 2.5 pounds

As dinner approached, I poured out my vile pot of cabbage soup in a fit of rage and prepared a normal, yet healthy, meal of butternut squash and tofu nuggets.

The Cabbage Soup Detox Diet, and any cleanse like it, doesn’t have strong enough rewards to outweigh the risks. Such quick weight loss is unnatural and should occur over the span of a month, not a few days. Dieters aren’t “cleansing” their bodies, they’re starving themselves. LIVESTRONG agrees, citing that cabbage cleanse followers are eating just over 1,000 calories a day instead of the recommended 2,000. Not properly nourishing your body negatively affects your mental health and physical state. While these compromising conditions may justify significant weight loss in someone’s mind, they lead to unhealthy habits and are sure to cause weight rebound as soon as the diet ends.

With a plethora of healthy ways to work out and eat clean, a cleanse is not worth the pain.