Leeds’ Most Eligible Bachelorette: Round four

2016 has taken a lot from us: Bowie, Alan Rickman, Hilary Clinton’s presidential chances to name but a few. Never fear though, because the one thing it will not take is The Tab’s Most Eligible Bachelorette competition. Here is your next batch of nominations for you guys to sink your teeth into (not literally though).

Lauren Huxley – MA Applied Theatre and Intervention

Lauren’s currently juggling an MA in applied theatre and intervention, with being social sec for freestyle dance society, her role of Dance rep on the Activities exec, and her job at the West Yorkshire Playhouse. Oh, and let’s not forget fighting for her place in the most eligible bachelorette competition. She’s been nicknamed ‘Queen Baldy’, but don’t let that put you off; she’s fun, fierce, and fabulous, everything you could ask for. Her friends say that ‘from the hardworking student, to the dedicated dancer, to the wild party animal, this girl lives her life to the fullest’, but you have to be able to keep up if you want to win the heart of this fair maiden, as reportedly ‘many men have fallen asleep during their attempt to tame the Huxley hurricane’. Lauren needs someone to look after her now her friends have moved away from Leeds, someone who doesn’t mind helping her look for her lost keys after a night of ‘bashment at Clark’s, or grinding in Backroom’.

If this sounds like your type of gal, then all you have to remember is  that, while ‘she may not be classy, she sure is sassy’. Her response to being nominated,”I feel blessed to be nominated for such a prestigious title”.

Nikki Kotecha – first year, Maths and Philosophy

The first things Nikki’s friends had to say about her was that she ‘received her first kiss whilst dressed in an oompa loompa suit, has the leading pull list in the flat, and has an unhealthy addiction to mayonnaise’. Sounds like a real winner. She’s also currently looking for things to add to her CV so she can fund the sesh in January, so if she wins this I guess celebratory drinks are on her? As a ‘classy and sassy fuck boy magnet’, her pulling techniques include: a tendency to shout her full name at mildly attractive shop assistances in the hope they will Facebook her later, a signature dance move in the form of a groovy take on the robot, and every Wednesday she flashes her boobs out of her flat window in the hope that she might catch the eye of a man in a blue shirt and beige chinos. This girl sounds like a keeper.

Along with her nomination, her friends sent this disconcerting message: “If you vote for Nikki now that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you”. Just let that sink in.

Chelsea Le Montais – third year, Healthcare

A ‘brummy stunner’ who is always ‘the life and soul of the party’, Chelsea still manages to make it to the library and the gym after every night out. Her friends say “she’s that one girl who always claims she’s not going out, yet two hours later she’s shaking that peachy booty on the tables at Bongo Bingo, with a routine that puts Strictly to shame”. Her top talent is apparently her profound ability to wake up in unknown locations across Hyde Park, Headingley, and even once in Wakefield. Don’t be fooled by her party girl attitude though, as Chelsea still manages to find time to keep her body in shape for those summers on the continent. ‘The perfect mix of town and country gal, you wouldn’t be shy of introducing her to your mum back in the Home Counties’.

Her friends favourite story? Her love of onion rings which defies all else, as she attempted to rescue ‘her precious rings 3 times on the way home from a messy one at Warehouse. Although the takeaway floor, taxi floor, and finally the puddle in front of the house of the lad she was seeing, as he was opening the front door, might have been taking it a bit far’.

All this aside, this 3rd year Healthcare student is a keeper, with steak and sex provided on tap (according to her nominees). What more do you want?