The people you meet on a night out at Mischief

All universities have that one club night first years can’t get enough of and third years simply can’t let go of. In Leeds’ case, this is Mischief.

Whether you religiously go every Wednesday, or once a month to relive to the house remix of “Ah Zabenya” from the Lion King: here is a definitive list of all the people you’re likely to bump into at Mischief.

All of the Lacrosse Society, also known as the ‘Lacrosse Fitties’

She was an ambulance…hence the ‘9’

Lacrosse girls are only to be fantasised about. Whether dressed as frogs, train stations, farm animals or even sperm cells; these girls always attract attention at Mischief and that’s not just because they take over the entire place in numbers. There is always a clear distinction between their freshers and third years, with freshers commonly in the shit version of that weeks costume theme.

However these girls’ good looks and flirty exterior are not to be taken for granted: their aggressive abilities with a stick and balls can be used on and off the pitch so do not be fooled. Basically, you should probably just stay away; they’re all out of your league anyway.

That fight

Clearly the guy in the bottom left wanted to “talk about it”

Whether it was your best mate’s sister’s boyfriend, or your next door neighbour, someone you know is always likely to get in a fight in the Mischief smoking area. Intoxicated blood streams, high levels of testosterone and cocky façades mean these lads can literally get in a scrap over anything. From whose flat mate stole the last drop of milk, to who had the smallest todger in the changing rooms – lack of both stability and centre of gravity means this heated feud will be on the floor within seconds.

Creating entertainment for all, and a bit of excitement for the burly security guards to get involved in. Leaving at least two people stranded on the street outside hatching a plan on how to sneak back in again.

The VK fanatics

Yes. They were all for her.

One of Mischief’s pride and glory for many of its clubbers is the four for £10 offer on VKs, which many a cheap skate or simple lightweight can take advantage of. To many a drunken, poor student this is God’s gift to earth.

Strawpedoed within seconds, these alcopops don’t exactly have the effect of a Vodka shot but if you get a buzz off a sugar rush then you’re in the right place. Despite indigestion, gassy stomachs from all the downing of fizzy alcohol the next day; those who are truly committed to the alcopop life, simply find these a burden they have to bare.

Any society that has ever existed

We’re still not sure what society he was in…

Women’s rugby

Rowing

Whether it’s Rowing, Women’s Rugby, Water Polo or Cricket, you are always guaranteed to meet someone from a society on a night out at Mischief. From half naked rowing lads to toga wearing women’s rugby players; they are always likely to pull out all the stops for Mischief. Having nearly always played a sports fixture that day, the alcohol hits any sports player like a ton of bricks so don’t be expecting a sober catch up.

However, do not be fooled by their kind sportsmanship; most societies can handle alcohol better than a normal human. And with dedication. Previous to Mischief, this rower had completed the entire Otley Run in limited one piece of clothing. Whilst the Women’s Rugby team had completed the “Centurion”- involving a shot of alcohol per minute for 100 minutes…and yes, they were still standing.

The ‘Meerkat’

The Meerkat in his natural hunting ground

The Meerkat. A predator in his natural hunting ground. Whether looking for his friends, or a potential catch to take home that evening, you are likely to see this guy more than once on his own scanning the perimeter of the smoking area or dance floor alike. Whether this guy has actually lost his friends or not we will never know, but we can definitely give him credit for looking so statuesque in the process of doing so.

The girl who flirts her way into the DJ booth

She gets in every week

We’ll never actually find out what girls gain from getting into the DJ Booth. Is it the chance to squeeze into a small area cosying up to some sweaty B.O- fuelled DJs? Or the sense of power they achieve looking onto their friends in the peasants area of the floor? Either way, only certain girls have the ability to get into the booth itself.

Whether it’s by sneakily blending into the background, pretending to know the DJs posse, or fluttering their eyelashes at the guy on the gate, whatever tactic they chose, it’s a skill us commoners can only dream of – although they are always guaranteed to post a Snapchat story of the view just to parade their achievement on the night.

The edgy kids

The Edgy kids

Mischief isn’t exactly the place for techno or house which means it’s not the common place for the more edgier of the Leeds community. However, if you search carefully you can often find a couple of the edgy kind who probably got lost on their way to Flux or Regression Sessions. Characterised by a roll up in hand and talk of the next night at Beaverworks; lack of knowledge on JME or Todd Terje means you’ll immediately be snuffed out by these campus legends. Sorry we’re not in Canal pills guys, but we appreciate the enthusiasm to mingle with us pop-loving folk.

Romeo and Juliet 

THAT couple. *cue vomiting

These two were clearly not on a night out to pull. We’re never entirely sure why these couples venture out to Mischief, not being the most romantic setting this is not the place for PDA or slow dancing. Any couple at Mischief is to be abruptly avoided, witnessing their affectionate loved up passion could result in extreme drunken feelings of loneliness- often resulting in an immediate quest to find someone to fulfil these sexual needs. Next time just stay at home. For your own sake and ours.

The wrecked and the sober

Can’t handle Mischief

If you’re brave enough to explore out into Mischief’s smoking area, it’s always a fun to discover a girl who simply can’t handle her booze and her mate who’s sobered up by this point to be her personal vomit body guard. Whether it was the multiple VKs, Jägerbombs at Players or Macaroni Cheese she had for dinner- either way she’ll be seeing one or all of these in the toilet tomorrow morning.

We can also guarantee the sober friend will be freezing her tits off, but a few free drinks  on their next night out together from the vomit-ee will allow all the holding of hair back to be forgiven.

The rugby lads

The rugby lads. Signature pale blue shirt, pink tie, and boisterous personalities- they’re hard to miss. When under the influence of the odd Jägerbomb these lads are more feared than they are appreciated; mainly because of their pure size and potential vomiting at any given moment. Often seen drinking a simple vodka and coke, we’re sorry it’s not Grey Goose, but Daddy is paying for the drinks so might as well buy out the entire bar before learning the real meaning of money.