Ducks, downward dog and drugs to your door: Lancaster reacts to national lockdown

Welcome to the first ten minutes of an apocalypse film

Boris Johnson announced, on Monday, that the UK was officially on lockdown.

Well, it’s been four days and Lancaster students are reeling. One Lancaster student posted to Snapchat: “That’s it. The country’s on LOCKDOWN. So for all you tramps who couldn’t keep yourselves in your house over the weekend, go fuck yourself.”

Lancaster students have been showing a range of reactions to the national lockdown amid COVID-19.

Daisy, a third year Geography student,  told The Lancaster Tab: “It’s so scary. Being a final year, I don’t know when I’m next going to see my friends and I miss them so much!”

One first year Law student complained: “I left my weed at the flat and now we’re locked down for three weeks. Fml.”

The flat of county students who have been recommending sex positions throughout the year cancelled their position of the week and it is devastating.

But Lancaster students are already coming up with ways to live their best lives under lockdown.

LU Pole Fitness Society launched an online challenge, #LUPFOnLockdown. The goal is to post a pose, every day, with an item or in a place starting with the same letter, going down the alphabet – see candlestick pose ft. condoms and books on a bridge on a bed on our Instagram!

Students have been recreating the gym in other ways, too. Connor, a third year student at Lancaster Uni, made his own jungle gym with sandbags, buckets and a branch in County Square: “Well, my mate Sam messaged and was like, ‘I’m going to chop down some tree do you want to help’ and I was like ‘yes of course.’”

Connor told the Tab: “We’re just sad the gym closed. Now, we’re working on making something to deadlift. Thinking: buckets, cable ties, sandbags and some wood we found near the bins.” See his full videos on our Instagram.

First year student, Lucy,  is doing a 24-hour read-a-thon to raise money: “Being stuck inside all day has reminded me of all the unread books I’ve been piling up,” she said in a Facebook post, “so, in a time of national emergency, […] thought I would try to knock a few off my list whilst raising money for those in need.”

Slightly less wholesome but just as fun, a first year lad from County has downloaded Tinder for the first time: “I’m using the lockdown as an excuse to swipe through what’s left of Lancaster. It’s been two hours and I haven’t got a single match.”

“How the fuck am I expected to like girls without a bio? I can’t tell your personality from two generic mirror selfies. And can people spell their names right? Chloe doesn’t start with an X.”

Another student has been passing the time watching Bargain Hunt. He told The Tab: “It is gripping TV and makes me forget the world around me. One day, when the dust settles, I would like to fulfil my childhood ambition of competing for the red team on Bargain Hunt.”

Is he onto something?

We’re not convinced.

And if that wasn’t enough, some campus dealers have announced postal orders on weed. Somewhere, there is a first year Law student crying for joy.

And, if that’s not enough, the ducks on campus are as photogenic as ever. It’s spring time, the ducklings are about to come and bless campus. If anything had you missing Lancaster during lockdown, it’s them.