What’s the maddest thing that’s happened to you in first year?

Oh, to be fresher again

We’re settling back into our second term of university, already slipping out of the routine of attending that 9am lecture and 5pm seminar. You can once again hear the tragic rattling of copper coins and the distant chunder of a fresher in need. Luckily, we have some barmy tales on hand from our first year chums to remind us of how glorious university life really is.

Arron, 18, English Language

bird man

“The kitchen window was open and I’d literally just washed my towels and laid them out in the kitchen to dry. A bird manages to fly into the kitchen shits all over my towels and all up the walls. It THEN lays an egg on top of the fridge and my flat mate was really protective over it  and wanted to keep it as a pet …don’t know what happened to the egg in the end.”

Duncan, 19, Economics and Finance

Duncan“My friend Nick the Northerner takes a girl back after a night out for cheesy chips. They don’t bother with the chips and move straight to the bedroom. What they don’t know is our flat mate is hidden in his wardrobe just chilling there for no real reason at all. So they’re having sex and Johno is filming them through the wardrobe and when he realises how creepy the situation is he jumps out the wardrobe and shouts “Surprise!””

Lauren, 19, History

lauren“As a group we decided that if you don’t take someone home then you have to take something home instead. After a night out at the SU on our way home four of us were picking up random things from off the street: a traffic cone, a sign post, a rusty cheese grater, chopping board and a mop. We carried it all back to the flat feeling very smug only to find the inspection lady got rid of it all the next day.”

Samuel, 19, Geology


“I’m eating dinner and my flat mate comes in and tells me to go and look at the toilet. It looked as though someone had detonated a bomb! There was shit all around the rim and it even managed to skid up the wall. No one cleaned it up for ages and the cleaner ended up having to clean it. No one admitted to doing it but we all have our suspicions about who it was.”

Christine, 19, Fine Art

christine (2)

“I got caught smoking weed and security searched my room. Luckily they didn’t look into my en-suite bathroom where my naked boyfriend was hiding.”

Saffron, 18, English Literature and Language


“I was on a night out with my flat mate Rhys and this old guy tried to hit on me so I pretended Rhys was my boyfriend. I actually ended up kissing this old guy in the end anyway but because he still thought me and Rhys were a couple he grabbed Rhys’ crotch as he thought we were going to have a threesome.”

Kate, 19, Zoology

kate“My friend went to a flat party, insanely drunk, doesn’t even remember the party and ended up at halls reception crying because she thought someone had stolen her make-up and so reception came to open the safe in her room and then one of the men knocked her lamp on the floor and she hit him – her exact words were “fight me!””

Owain, 19, English Literature

Owain Huw

“My friend stripped down naked and ran down this very road but got picked up by police.”

Júlia, 18, English Literature


“Our flat had a pet crow for a while it just wandered around the house breaking things and trying to peck people’s eyes out. Then there was the time we sacrificed a sex doll in satanic ritual and left the remains outside our neighbour’s house surrounded by candles which started a feud. We also took all our house mates furniture out her room and made it into a forest by filling the room with plants and leaves…lots of leaves!”

Ed, 21, Graphic Design

ed 2

“I was assaulted at 3am by two locals and lost a front tooth. They thought I’d been chatting up their little sister (I hadn’t). Then one of them started punching me in the face in the same spot breaking my front tooth, which I’m getting it fixed on Wednesday, but it didn’t really hurt so I got up and walked to the reception where I called the police but they had run off by then and I have no idea who they were.”

Chloe, 19, History

Chloe Davis“My friend went home with someone dressed as a pig and he had to do the walk of shame back in the same costume.”

Charlotte, 19, Maths

Charlotte Marshall“I put pop tarts in the toaster which set the toaster on fire – an excuse to make good use of the fire extinguisher!”