Lent Bumps 2013: LIVE

LIVE blog updates of Lent Bumps, brought to you by Tab Sport.

camfm lent bumps 2013 river cam Rowing Sam Hobbs sports editor

Welcome to our LIVE coverage of Lent Bumps. Over the next five days, we’ll be tweeting and texting from the river to give you up to-the-minute coverage of the entire event. Build up, in-race info, comments and analysis, it’s all here.

To get involved, tweet @TabSport or use the #LentBumps hashtag, email [email protected] or comment below.

And you can also listen to live commentary of every race with our partners, CamFm.

DAY 5

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17.09 Well, that’s it for Lent Bumps this year. As ever, it’s been a non-stop thrill-ride filled with twists and turns that no-one could predict. It’s been a delight to bring you the Tab’s coverage, and I’d like to thank Will, John and Gianpiero for their help. See you in May, rowing fans!

17.07 Okay here are the final standings for M1:

17.02 I can tell you that the top eight boats all rowed over, admirable from them.

17.00 Just waiting on those final results from M1. I’m sure our friends at Cam FM are working on it. Cheers guys.

16.57 A wiser man than I once said, “All the world’s a river, and all the men and women merely rowers, who strut and fret their hour upon water.” It was my housemate, Giles. He drinks a lot.

16.55 Congratulation to King’s in that race who managed to get their blades by bumping Robinson. Fantastic for them, I’m sure they’ll be enjoying their victory tonight.

16.53 This is how it all went down in M1, without the final standing (yet).

16.51 We’re coming to a close here, we’ll get you the full results as soon as possible. It’s quite emotional really, as all the hard work come to fruition and we look back on what we have managed to reap from our labours. I wish it could go on, but everything that starts must have and end. Apart from Ryan Giggs’ career.

16.48 Bad week for Magdalene. King’s have got their blades thanks to bumping Robinson and Christ’s have bumped as well. Caius have retained their headship and LMBC have avoided Spoons. Good on you guys.

16.47 Unfortunately due to heavy traffic on the site updates will be coming through quite slowly.

16.46 Queens’ have pulled away from FaT, 3 lengths between them. Huge effort from them.

16.44 Selwyn have bumped Magdalene. ‘Downing M1 appear to be having fun on Chesterton bridge… We quote “will sell bodies for headship” ‘ from the Downing women. Have a length between FaT and Queens’

16.42  Lady Margaret are looking good, Pembrok and Peterhouse have about 2 lengths between them. Caius are majestic, simply majestic. FaT and Queens’ are really battling, and it looks like they’re causing all the excitement in this division at the moment. And we have a bump! King’s have bumped Robinson.

16.40 LMBC are worrying about Spoons, whereas Catz, King’s and Caius can get blades. They’re off and running, Caius looking sharp as a tack.

16.38 I’m back, and really excited for this M1 race. Really interested to see if Downing can complete a double headship by bumping Caius. This is a huge ask, given how strong Caius are, but who knows?

16.32 Off the grab a coffee before M1 go, can i get you anything? Aha, of course not, but that’s the sort of easy-going relationship I think we’ve built up over the past few days. It’s been a pleasure, it really has. I’ll be back quicker than you can say “skinny-frappa-mocha-chino with added cream”.

16.29 Cam FM are talking about the “Marconi Cup,” a system they’ve invented to tell which college has done the best during Bumps. Currently top are Homerton, although I’m utterly bemused by the whole thing.

16.24 Here’s what rowing expert Gianpiero Roscelli has to say about the upcoming M1 race:

“The men’s division, even by its high standards, has produced little action, but the early few days confirmed what we all knew – a rowing master class by Downing and Caius in feathering, clean blades entering the water and maximising the power they have in their respective boats.

On for Blades is only Catz M1 and Kings M1, while Emma M1 and LMBC M1 are on for Spoons. I will put my hat on the line and say LMBC will be bumped and thus achieve the dreaded spoons. I have no idea the last time this happened for LMBC, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a very long time ago. Kings should achieve blades without too much of a challenge given they are facing a declining Robinson crew.

THING TO WATCH – if Downing can bump Caius, they won’t get blades, but they would achieve a DOUBLE HEADSHIP of Lent Bumps 2012 if the women’s Downing boat can stay ahead of the W1 division”

16.21 Here is how M1 stands going into the race. Not a hugely eventful division it must be said, but who knows what finale awaits us.

16.19 The final race of the day, and indeed of Bumps this year, is M1 at 4.40.

16.18 So Murray Edwards get their blades. Superb bumps for that particular college.

16.15 Let’s get those results from W1 up for you. You guys really deserve it.

16.12 We’ve got Fitz W1 captain Amber Morley in the studio having won blades earlier in the day. “I don’t know what to say. A great day for Fitzwilliam women. Go Billy.”

16.10 Sorry, scrap that. Newnham bumped Caius and have foliage in their hair.

16.09 Caius and Newnham rowed over it seems.

16.08 Catz have bumped Queens’. Thats cool for Catz. And shit for Queens’. Churchill and  Selwyn are bringing up the rear.

16.06 Queens are being closely followed by Catz but they’re being chased as well. Maggie are trying to get King’s, and they’re well clear of the boat behind them

16.05 Captain of ME understandably delighted. “It’s unbelievable, I’m so proud of this crew.” She has a right to be proud. Or prow-ed.

16.03 Length and a half between LMBC and King’s. Christs are hounding Emma, keeping a tight line to the south bank.

16.02 Newnham have bumped Caius, and Tit Hall have been bumped by ME, who get their blades.

16.01 Downing are rowing beautifully, oars dipping and rising in perfect unison. Poetry in motion. Rowetry in motion. Rowetry in rowtion. Rowing.

16.00 These crews have gone off superbly, particularly Downing at the head of the river. They’re flying away from FaT. Behind FaT are Jesus, losing a bit of ground.

15.59 We should be going any minute now…

15.56 5 minutes until Medwards and Downing go for their blades. Medwards have had a superb competition. Only Clare are in danger of Spoons.

15.54 Remeber to keep sending your emails to [email protected] or tweet @TabSport. It’s crushingly lonely otherwise.

15.52 Just under 10 minutes until W1. Remember to scroll down to read Gianpiero Roscelli’s preview, letting you know exactly what’s what for the top women’s division.

15.50 Tell you what, it’s a lovely day in Cambridge. I’ve noticed that a few have adopted the “Sun’s out, Guns out” philosophy. Good to see.

15.47 “Really enjoying the bumps. I would like to make a donation to your boat club, so please send me your bank details so I can make transfer of 32,000,000 USD. Thank you.” Prince Mbengwe, Nigeria.

15.41 Full results from M2:

15.40 Should be a cracker this one, although that could be said for most races. Both Queens’ and Homerton got their blades in that M2 race, fantastic for them.

15.37 Here’s a reminder of what that Division looks like:

15.36 Next up is W1 at 4.00, and we have a preview from the ersthwile Gianpiero Roscelli:

“The W1 division has proved to be more eventful than their counterparts’ men, but if Downing can stay ahead of a charging FaT, then a double headship is on for Downing College.

Currently on for blades are Murray Edwards W1, which if achieved, would result in double blades for their W1 and W2 boats. As a college they are enjoying a marvellous competition during these bumps, and their W1 boat came from W2 division early in the week to shoot up five places so far. They look unstoppable, while only Clare W1 is on the slide and on for spoons”

15.33 Meanwhile, here are final standings for W2. I’m hearing that Downing bumped St. Ed’s in this Division, so they may not be totally correct.

 

15.31 Okay, those are the results, although not the correct final standings just yet. We’ll have that to you as soon as possible.

15.30 

15.28 Hughes Hall have gone up an incredible 7 places this year. We’ll have full results as soon as we can.

15.27 Pembroke and Wolfson is looking close, only quarter of a length in it

15.25 It seems that hughes Hall have bumped Emma, confirmation soon…

15.24 Darwin are coming through nicely

15.23 Looks like Jesus have bumped LMBC and Queens have got Fitz

15.22 You might as well call Caius La Roux because they’re going in for the kill. Emma could be their victims. And there’s the bump. Nobody’s pregnant, but Caius have got Emma. Queens and Sidney battling hard.

15.21 Homerton looking good for a bump on FaT, and they’ve bumped!

15.20 Caius are going quite well, Emmanuel are motoring.

15.19 Very close to kicking off M2. Grassy corner is packed. Downing and Emmanuel in danger of spoons, Homerton and Queens up for blades. Emmanuel start well.

15.16 “Really loving der tab’s Bumps coverage. Always been a big fan of Das Boots. Way more fun than bailing out Greece.” Angela, Germany.

15.15 Big shout out to Cam FM (who are doing their best to ignore us) and respect to their bumps coverage. Those guys have been fantastic.

15.14 Grime artist Bashy has got in touch to say “Can’t underestimate the importance of good feathering, so often a neglected art.”

15.12 Another message for Fitz, and in particular their captain Amber Morley: “Well done Amber from everyone at 128, you know who we are.” Is 128 one of those incredibly secret and exclusive Cambridge societies? I think so.

15.11 Miriam in Stratford-upon-Avon says “Cheering on Downing W2 all the way to the bump”. Big up to Miriam and all the Stratford Gal Dem.

15.08 Unfortunately my computer is running slower that Lance Armstrong without the EPO so apologies if the coverage isn’t as slick as you’d like. We’ll work on getting sorted.

15.06 Tab columnist Groan Hardsley has got in touch via telegram: “Gargargarg boats and water and stuff.” Thanks, Groan.

15.04 Plenty of racing left today with three more divisions left to go. It really is exciting stuff, nothing quite like it. Its one of only four bumps races in the whole world. Sick.

15.02 Homerton and Queens’ in that Division are looking for blades in this race, while Downing M2 will be nervous about the possibility of Spoons.

15.00 We’ve got M2 up next at 3.20, here is how they stand:

 

14.58 The full results from W2 here for you. They’re not quite fully updated so those aren’t the final standings.

14.57 

14.56 They’re playing Gold digger by Kanye West in celebration of Fitz’ success. Poignant given Fitzwilliam’s financial situation.

14.54 First and Third are understandably exhausted and delighted. We’ll have the full results very soon.

14.53 They’ll be cracking open the budget champers at Fitz tonight. Huge result for them. FaT have managed to hold off Pembroke, but poor old Robinson have now been bumped on all 4 days.

14.52 Fitz captain Amber Morley is trying to express how she feels “It’s just amazing. Big shout to our cox Rob.” In times of great joy often words fail us.

14.50 Hughes Hall are too far behind Jesus to catch them, but Selwyn have managed to nab Magdalene

14.49 FaT are looking like they’ve got a bit of a gap, Downing W2 are coming through with a big lead.

14.48 Pembroke still going after FaT, FaT pushing as hard as they can!

14.47 Homerton have bumped Emma, and Girton are looking comfortable.

14.46 Newnham have bumped Robinson, so its Spoon for them.

14.45 Pembroke are hunting down FaT who desperately want to avoid Spoons.

14.44 Fitz have bumped LMBC! Blades for them! Emmanuel looking quite good, Homerton up on their inside.

14.42 LMBC are holding off Fitz, FaT looking good and so are Newnham

14.41 We’re off, the front four all starting strongly

14.40 There’s a very light breeze knocking around, but nothing to bother the rowers.

14.39 So, FaT and Robinson are looking nervously behind them, hoping to avoid the ignominy of The Baron of Beef. Sorry, Spoons. Fitz have it all to play for as the chase blades.

14.37 A nice bit of Jake Bugg on the radio. I like Jake Bugg, but he has nothing to say about rowing.

14.36 5 minutes to W2. Can’t wait. But I’ll have to.

14.34 Is there anywhere you’d rather be on a Saturday than watching this alluring play in five acts come to its close? Apart from a Silvio Berlusconi Bunga Bunga party of course.

14.28 As a Fitzbilly myself I hope that my bias doesn’t show during the next ra… COME ON GIRLS!!!

14.27 Edwin from Bangor says “Re: James at 14.25. Jog on mate, Christ’s have no chance. Ridiculous comment. No wonder your wife left you.”

14.25 Keep your emails coming in to [email protected] James in Bangor says “Loving Bumps as always, backing Christ’s W2 for another bump today”

14.24 So, in that Division it’s FaT and Robinson who are looking at the possibility of spoons. Only Fitz have a shot of getting there hands on a set of Wesley Snipes films. I assume thats what Blades is.

14.22 Next up is W2, let’s have a look how that division is set up:

14.21 Huge thanks to Gianpiero who has kept us informed. Sam here no to take you through to the end of what should be a thrilling day’s rowing.

14.15 I am about to hand over to my brilliant co-editor Sam Hobbs, and myself am heading down river side. Make sure you stay with us here on Tab Sport, keep those messages being sent in and make sure you catch our indepth preview of M1 and W1 divisons later on in the afternoon before their races!

14.12 A full run down of results coming up shortly, but well done to HUGHES HALL and JESUS who get blades, and equally GIRTON and SELWYN for not getting spoons.

14.09 Robinson and LMBC both row over, as confidently predicted by me!

14.08 Girton bumped Caius, so therefore DO NOT GET SPOONS

14.06 Clare Hall are rowing over, and far enough from Binson/LMBC to assure it

14.05 Jesus bump FaT, so Jesus GET BLADES!

14.04 At the end of the division, its a close draw between Maggie and Robinson, and despite Robinson being weaker, Maggie have endured a mayer of a week, so its likely Robinson can make it. I hope so as a fellow Binsonite!

Churchill have been bumped by Magdalene; Tit Hall close on Catz, so Catz are in danger of loosing the blades they are on for. They have to respond if they want those blades

14.02 Magdalene are very close behind Churchill; Peterhouse now head the field with the front two out. Its clear and easy for the college of Peterhouse

Clare M2 bumped by Selwyn at Ditton Corner, so Selwyn DO NOT GET SPOONS

14.00 Clare being caught by Selwyn to 3/4 length, whilst Queens bump Girton. Hughes Hall are within inches of taking St Edmunds – and they have! Fantastic, Edmunds are bumped by Hughes Hall! HUGHES HALL GET BLADES

14.00 Its go go go!

13.56 Just to remind you, those on for:

BLADES – Catz M2, Hughes Hall M1

SPOONS – Selwyn M2, Girton M2, LMBC M3

13.55 Just 5 minutes until the M3 division gets going now. My money is on this divison being the best of them all given the form of this week. Should be a thriller

13.49 Here are the confirmed final results for the Womens W3 division just finished: well done also to Catz and Sidney for avoiding bumps at the last minute by both securing row overs, but commiserations to Peterhouse who lost the chance for blades. They had no control over this given the Caius/Darwin battle ahead of them, but could have had the pair in a thrilling three-way dual early by the reach. Kings and Queens (that wasnt intended, seriously) both failed to convert their chance for blades as well

13.33 Just to confirm the results there: Caius are bumped by Darwin, allowing Peterhouse to row over unchallenged. Murray Edwards gets blades by catching Clare very quickly off the start, Wolfson bump Tit Hall, Clare Hall done by Homerton from behind, while Sidney and Emma row over. Churchill bump Kings, so NO blades for the former crew. Murray Edwards lower crew are bumped by Darwin and cant match the feats of their sister boat while Queens rower over

TRINITY HALL W2 GET SPOONS

MURRAY EDWARDS W2 GET BLADES

13.31 Darwin W2 bump Murray Edwards W3 at the back end of this division. which will leave the latter upset given that they had overlap for a significant part of the race with the Catz crew ahead of them

13.29 Wolfson bump Tit Hall, ensuing that Tit Hall get spoons!

13.28 Queens the last boat continuing to row over, and that is assured as a row over

13.27 With the top two out, Peterhouse is rowing over and as a result is leading by miles. They were within inches of the thrilling three-way duel earlier at the top between Caius and Darwin, where any of the boats could have claimed the bump

Overlap now between Catz and Murray Edwards – the Catz will have to concede unless her crew can respond to the massive pressure being applied

13.26 Murray Edwards just 1/2 length behind Catz, so surely that will result in a glorious bump for a boat club which is having a brilliant bumps

13.24 Clare Hall have been bumped by Homerton W2

13.22 CHANGE OF HEADSHIP – Darwin bump Caius to take the lead of this division

Churchill do bump on Kings as predicted by 1st post, which means that Kings DO NOT get the blades they were on for. Desperately unlucky there, they will be distraught to come so close and so fall at the final hurdle

Tit Hall have been bumped by Wolfson

13.21 Clare cant pull away for toffee and is being caught by Murray Edwards rapidly, who are surely on for Blades. Churchill catching Kings and that will be a bump by 1st post

13.21 Its GO GO GO on the River Cam!

13.19 Womens W3 division about to begin – the 4 minute cannon has gone, and we will shortly be underway!

13.00 Those results now fully confirmed now:

12.59 And while those stragglers at the back come over the line, we have a special shout out to regular Tab Features writer Morwenna Jones, who tweeted us with this:

12.56 Just to confirm the result:

LMBC, Fitz and Emma all row over; Christs bump Hughes Hall, Homerton row over; Darwin get bumped by Selwyn, whilst Emma’s second boat in this division also follow their sister and row over; Catz row over, while the beer boats at the back of the division continue rowing over.

12.49 Queens have bumped Corpus. Captain of Queens says “we have more guts than them”. Another pair of crews

12.48 LMBC leading Fitz by 3 lengths

12.47 FaT have bumped Magdalene at the back end of the division

12.46 Queens looking to catch Corpus by the time they reach the railway bridge

At Grassy Corner, Hughes Hall did catch Christ and have bumped them.

12.44 Maggie leading at the top of the division, followed by Fitz and Emma. The gap between the latter two is significant.

Christs cox wont concede to Hughes Hall, despite their being huge overlap

Clare have bumped Churchill!

12.42 Selwyn charging to Darwin – and that will be a bump! Churchill with overlap on Clare – the latter will bump Churchill undoubtedly

12.42 Its GO GO GO!

12.39 M4 division about to begin – just a reminder – no blades or spoons eligible here.

12.35 Conditions today by the river are pretty fine for rowing – a tad colder than yesterday, but still very good. This time last year Bumps were being held coming out of one of the most disruptive rowing seasons ever, given most of the races pre-Lent Bumps 2012 were cancelled due to the ice and snow. None of that likely today, thankfully! Its a fine 5oC down by the Cam

12.29 Here is how they line up for their races:

12.26 Queens M2, whost boat club generally seem to be having a stellar Bumps, is along with Homerton M1, able to get the Blades today. Most crews in this division have either ended up so far where they started the week, of are just one position infront/behind – so many crews in this division will be eager to move up quickly from the start. Watch out for overbumps and plenty of bumps from the minute the cannon and early on in the river

12.24 Downing M2 are the only ones on for Spoons in this division, and its highly possible that FaT behind them can ensure they achieve this misery. Thanks to other crews bumping before they did, they have rowed over for the past two days, but I would bet that Downing could be in trouble here.

12.23 Emma and Dawin have had a fantastic squabble at the back end of the division, bumping each other every day so far. Darwin are currently ahead, and overall are one up from where they started the week, but Emma wont like that!

12.19 Or not. Robinson cant seem to prepare Spagbowl ready for 12pm. There goes lunch…but back to the previewing! Next up: M2 division

12.05 Right, I am off for a quickie (lunch, that is and toilet break, and wish Binson rowers best of luck!). I will back in 10 minutes to have a quick chance to preview the M2 and W1 divisions – but keep those emails flooding in! And thanks for the personal support, but lets here some support for the crews – not me!

12.04 Here is how they line up for their race, which is off at 2.40pm:

12.03 Churchill W1 left this division and have been progressing ever since, whilst Christ’s W2 have also been excellent, only not being eligible for blades due to a row over on day two.

12.00 In the Womens W2 division, FaT W2 are on for Spoons, along with Robinson W1. Only Fitz in this division can achieve blades today.

11.57 Should be the a cracker of a divison – dont miss it at 2pm, and here is how they line up

11.52 Eligible for blades in M3 = Catz M2, Hughes Hall M1, Jesus M3. Those up for Spoons this afternoon are Selwyn M2, Girton M2, LMBC M3. Magdalene would be heading for Spoons as well, but managed to row over yesterday. Likely to be bumped today by Churchill M2, but their form has been equally erratic

11.50 Hughes Hall M1 have put in a stunning effort, moving up 5 places and putting themselves on the cusp of moving up into the next divison. Crew of the divison so far.

11.48 Robinson M2 and Clare Hall M1 seem to be acting like a pair of fighting babies, constantly fighting and swapping places. Will they do so today? I was talking to Binson M2 rower Peter Lacey last night over a pint and he seemed remarkably cocky to predict that they can go for an overbump on Girton M2.

11.45 Paradoxically, this year the higher the divison, the messier things become. Next up, is the Mens 3rd division. Queens M3 pulled off a masterclass by overbumping none other than Maggie M3, whose boat club generally seem to be having a nightmare this Bumps given their M1 crew are on Spoons in the first mens division.

11.40 Homerton arent eligible for blades, but have moved up significantly within the division and are probably the crew of W3 so far

11.36 The Womens W3 division is far more interesting. Currently, Sidney W2, Tit Hall W2 and Catz W2 are on for Spoons – if any are bumped today, thats it for them. Peterhouse , Murray Edwards, Kings and Queens are all on for blades. Biggest faller = Catz W2 courtesy of an overbump on day one by Homerton. Below is the visual image of this…

 

11.34 Thats also how they will line up today for their race in just under an hour’s time

11.29 Starting off with the M4 division, no one can achieve blades of spoons, as at some point, most crews have swapped places with the crew behind/infront of them. Queens M3 managed to leave the division and get promoted into M3, to the detriment of Maggie M3, who now head the divison and are the sandwich boat between the two divisions. For a lower divisions, things have been suprisingly clean and organised, and as you can see below, things have remained fairly constant.

11.26 And just before that, a quick preview of when the crews will be lining up today:

M4 division will take to the river at 12.40pm

W3 division will set off at 1.20pm

M3 row at 2pm

W2 at 2.40pm

M2 row at 3.20pm

W1 end the womens action at 4pm

And finally, M1 will round off the day at 4.40pm

11.24 Before we delve into the previews, quick reminder we will be taking shout outs all day, from wherever in the world – Uzbekistan to Timbaktu – for crews, students, old college crews or just general rowing memories. Get in contact via email [email protected], tweet @TabSport or use #LentBumps

11.20 All good things come to an end. Sadly, this is the last day of what has been another terrific Lent Bumps, and whether crews are on for blades or spoons, it promises to be a thriller!

DAY 4

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16.55 Final standings after that M1 race, the last of the day:

16.51 And it’s all over. Quiet at the top, a bump for Jesus on LMBC; six boats ended up rowing over in the middle, despite all that mayhem earlier; at the bottom of the division, Catz take Robinson, King’s bump up on Magdalene, and Selwyn condemn Emma to the sandwich boat position going into the final day.

16.50 Catz bump Robinson right at the last. CamFM commentator losing his nut again, but he’s doing a fine job, so fair play to him.

16.49 Very very tight between Christ’s, Clare and Tit Hall. Robinson, just behind, join the party. Nothing to choose between them!

16.47 Girton are gunning for Pembroke, who are also gunning for Peterhouse. Looks as though Girton will catch them before they do, though.

16.46 Selwyn have a massive overlap on Emma. And there’s the bump! Cracking effort from that boat.

Further down the river, Jesus bump LMBC. That’s three bumps in a row for Maggie. Uh-oh.

16.45 Caius look imperious. Duh. Four boat length lead over Downing.

LMBC are in trouble from Jesus, who have an overlap, by the sounds. They’ll have them any second now.

16.45 Magdalene bump Catz!

16.44 Jesus are catching on LMBC, and fast.

Robinson bump Tit Hall at Grassy Corner.

16.43 Sandwich boat Selwyn are pushing hard on the tails of Emma.

16.42 We’re off. Nothing much happening at the start of this race.

16.38 So yep, Caius will be looking to keep it tight at the headship for this race. Queen’s, who presently lie in third, will be aiming to bump Downing, who lie just ahead of them. Not sure I can see that one happening though; the top two boats have looked brilliant this week.

Further down the division, Tit Hall will be hoping to stop the rot, having been bumped on consecutive days now – ditto Emma. King’s, on the other hand, have bumped up twice in a row, and they’ll be looking to catch Magdalene this afternoon.

All to play for, as ever. Stay tuned.

16.36 The big M1 race coming up in a few minutes time. Bloody excited for this. Will Pithers back, by the way, so expect more Caius bias….we OWN the river.

16.30 It really was a mental race. It included some absolutely classic commentary, too, from Phin Adams over at CamFm: “We made Obama President, we sent men to the moon, but King’s W1 have just bumped LMBC W1!” It’ll stick long in the memory, that.

16.29 W1 RESULTS from that crazy race just now:

16.28 M2 RESULTS FROM EARLIER:

16.27 Right, sorry for all that nonsense. Basically, we had a massive technical failure on the site – what a ‘mare. The W1 race was mad. I’ll post the results for that, and M2 before it, in a second.

16.13 Kings bumped LMBC – and is that Catz bumping Queens? NO, Queens rowed over and were saved by the railway bridge finish line!

Jesus bump up on Emma.

16.12 King’s have now joined the Queens’-Catz-LMBC group – this is incredibly tight.

16.10 Queen’s chased by Catz, down to ¼ length, with LMBC just ¾ length further behind. Pembroke are two lengths away from Caius and now gaining on Christ’s.

16.09 Downing are a whopping seven lengths clear of FaT. Astonishing.

16.08 Queens’, Catz and LMBC within inches of each other. Who can bump first?

16.08 Murray Edwards have bumped Peterhouse. MEdwards on for blades – good on ’em.

Jesus have overlapped with Emma, who are going to the other side of the river to avoid bumping – brilliant tactic!

16.05 LMBC super tight on Catz; Jesus closing on Emma for third place in the division; Caius look to bump Pembroke, but the latter pull away – impressive response.

Clare bumped by Newnham.

Churchill, the sandwich boat, has bumped Magdalene.

16.05 Downing immediately pull clear. Their technique for both their lead blades has been beautiful – feathering blades at its best.

FaT very close to the bank – dangerously so? Jesus closing on Emma. Christ’s and Pembroke fairly close, but Pembroke rowers wearing unhappy faces, apparently!

16.04 And in the words of Murray Walker, its go, go, GO!

16.03 One-minute canon has gone. This is what we have been waiting for!

15.27 SO in summary, Downing continue their slide down the table, and if bumped tomorrow are heading for blades. Homerton M1 looked very impressive, as did Queens’ M2, who could get blades tomorrow. Corpus have rowed over on every day.

15.25 Homerton I have bumped LMBC II.

Churchull and Downing very close.

Wolfson down to a length on Pembroke!

Corpus one length behind.

Darwin bumped Emma II.

Churchill finally bumped Downing. Suprising, but inevitable given Chruchill’s superior start!

Darwin I bumping Emma II.

15.23 Christ’s bumped by Queens’ before first post corner.

LMBC overlap on FaT.

Caius bump Fitz.

Churchill very near to Downing!

Huge gap opening up here between Wolfson and Corpus.

15.22 Downing M2 and Chrchill M1 down to one length.

Churchill way ahead of FaT.

Overlap between LMBC and FaT but the latter cox is refusing to concede – feisty!

15.21 Cannon’s just gone!

Big gap between LMBC and Homerton already. Caius and Fitz already only separated by  ½ length.

15.20 The sky is turning greyer and colder. Rain a prospect?

15.09 The visual results for those of you who like the sexy images…

15.00 …and finally, Newham bumped FaT, Pembroke did Eddie and Downing did Caius at the very back of the division – so Caius become the dreaded sandwich boat for tommorow!

14.53 …Jesus W2 bump Hughes Hall W1, while Christs W2 gets an overbump on Robinson W1…

14.51 Results in full: Churchill W1, Selwyn W1, Girton W1 and LMBC W2 all row over. Fitz W1 bump Emma W2, Sidney W1 row over….

14.49 LMBC clear over the line from Homerton, so no danger that they will be overbumped.

14.47 OVERBUMP – Robinson have been overbumped by Christs

Another potential overbump – LMBC W2 being charged down by Homerton W1

14.45 Pembroke bump St Edmunds at the back end of the divison. Sidney miles aead of Robinson, who are only 1 length ahead of Christs (Hughes Hall were bumped by Jesus)

14.44 Newnham bump FaT. Churchill maintaining that gap over Selwyn; Girton similarly ahead of LMBC

14.43 Emma concede the bump; Jesus bump Hughes Hall but they are arent clearing the river fast enough

14.43 Churchill pulling 2 lengths clear from Selwyn. Fitz W1 charging down on Emma – down to 1/4 length

14.41 Cannon is off (they are now working now!). We are away!

14.39 Pembroke W2, FaT W2, Robinson W1 need to bump up row over if they want to avoid Spoons

14.37 LOOKOUT – Only Eddie’s W1 and Fitz W1 are on for blades in this division, so they cant afford to be bumped or their hopes will be dashed

14.34 Just 5 minutes to go until the Womens W2 division gets under way – here is they line up before they get going

14.32 Surely performance of the day so far from Queens M3

14.31 Robinson were bumped by Clare Hall for their squabble that never ends, but then Queens overbumped Maggie who were infront of Robinson, thereby ensuring Robinson become the sandwich boat, and Queens have a lot less work to do tommorow.

14.28 Churchill bump FaT, and Jesus bump Kings. Caius bump Girton…and then it gets tricky…

14.25 Magdalene row over, along with only Eddie’s at the top, and the following were all bumps, including:

14.20 Hughes Hall bump up on Peterhouse; Clare bump Selwyn, Catz bump Tit Hall

14.18 Just to confirm, St Edmunds rowed over to stay head of the divison…

14.15 Just before the results are confirmed, just a reminder – general BNOC and all round superstar Will (Pithers) will be posting live photos of the action from the river today from 3.30pm onwards. Follow @TabSport on Twitter to get these live, but I will post the best ones on here

14.09 INCREDIBLE news! Queens M3 get an overbump on LMBC M3 – that means Queens goes up 4 places and is quite incredible. Only St Edmunds and Magdalene rowed over

14.07 LMBC bumped up on Caius; the battle is at the front between Tit Hall M2 and Catz M2 – and there is nothing inbetween the two boats. Tit Hall defiantly against it, but marshals have called it for Catz

14.05 Churchill M2 bump FaT M3, while Robinson yet again are taken by Clare Hall again – those two crews are having a massive tussle over these Lent Bumps

14.00 Bump downstream – Jesus bump up on Kings; LMBC are next boat to come through, so Caius must have bumped Girton

Hughes Hall 1st bumped Peterhouse 2nd boat on Grassy Corner

13.58 The mens M3 division is coming up in a few minutes but as mentioned earlier, all is behind schedule due to problems with the starting cannons.

13.55 Finally, for the supporting messages, Fitz have support from the Canadian Rockies, from Naomi Paulus. She will be delighted with Fitz’s progress in W2, who are currently on for blades!

13.47 Shout out from Queens’ boat club alumnus in Switzerland, Julian Jaros . He says:

Go Queens! Power of the boar, from the legs,

through the core, straight into the oar,

they’re flying – we want moar,

in sunshine or downpour, they get the bumps –

the four, all other crews do deplore,

Queens’ fantastic blades galore, hear the mighty roar:

QUEENS!

13.46 Thanks to Andy Marsh yesterday for getting in touch via Twitter to inform us of the ejector crab that Queens rower caught on the row home – luckily, we had someone down riverside who sent us a text briefly beforehand! But keep the tweets coming in at @TabSport or use #LentBumps

13.45 RANDOM FACT – apparently Clare take off their foliage off before getting out of the boat if they bump as they believe its bad luck to do so. Not working for their W2 division, is it, given they have gone down overall by two positions?

13.43 Riverside analyst C. Kamara has sent in a report on some of the drama from the M4 division yesterday – “An unbelievable effort from Fitz M2, who were rowing like ferrets and managed to bump back Christ’s M3 after yesterday’s disappointment!”

13.42 Time for the apology – yesterday, tonnes of you emailed me and during the lull in action, I forget to put them here. So here they are…!

13.39 Here are the visual results, faster than I could type incredibly

13.36 Peterhouse bumped Clare and Murray Edwards bumped Trinity Hall near the top of the division

13.35 Queens having a lonely row-over at the back of the division; Downing W2 3 lengths ahead of Darwin W1, and they lead the field

13.33 Homerton have just bumped Sidney; Wolfson looking comfortable ahead of them

Kings W2 have bumped Churchill W2, and Queens W2 have bumped on Catz W2 – early bumps at the motorway bridge

13.32 Homerton W2 rapidly gaining on Sidney, though

13.28 Sidney are gaining on Clare Hall M1 on Grassy corner, down to about 3/4 of length

13.23 I should explain  – someone has taken my headphones, hence the frantic start before! But feel free to get in touch via email, tweet, or comments below! Talking of which, I owe some apologies for yesterday…

13.20 Seems I am not the only one having problems – the cannon is not working on the river, so all division at the moment are currently delayed

13.13 Back live on the feed covering all divisions todays, and next up is W3 in the womens division. Start line up coming shortly…

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DAY 3

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17.30 As we reach the mid-point in the Bumps calender, things look especially interesting in the mid-divisions. Join us again LIVE tomorrow for more uninterrupted coverage of the races on the Cam, starting with the W3 division at the earlier time of 1.20pm! See you then, and thanks for joining us once again here on Tab Sport.

17.15 Here are the visual results of that race, with the main notes being that Queens’ and Christs can no longer get blades, and Tit Hall, Emma and, surprisingly, LMBC all heading for the dreaded Spoons. But Caius and Downing look a class apart from the rest of the field.

17.00 A fairly uneventful division to end the day, but in summary, the results are as follows: Caius and Downing were miles ahead of the rest of the field in technique; Maggie continue their slide toward Spoons by being bumped by FaT. Jesus, Peterhouse, Pembroke, Girton and Christs all rowed over. Tit Hall were bumped by Clare, who initially looked in danger of being bumped by Robinson, but eventually rowed over. Catz bumped Maggie, as did Kings to Emma, thereby leaving Selywn as the sandwich boat again.

16.58 At the back end of the division, Magdalene were bumped by Emma, and behind them Catz were bumped by King’s. Terrific work there from King’s – remember, they started the week in the second division and are currently on track for the all important Blades.

16.57 Maggie looking upset with another bumping for them, while Selwyn are rowing over.

16.56 Clare closing in on Tit Hall, and a gap has emerged between Robinson and Clare Hall.

16.54 Christ’s within inches of Girton. They could get them on the reach.

16.53 Robinson closing in on Clare – fantastic news! I am not biased! Catz have caught Magdalene, and Emma have a mission and half to hold off King’s.

16.51 Power, speed, clean and crisp feathering…a rowing masterclass by Caius and Downing as they pull clear of Maggie.

16.48 Before the men’s race gets underway, here is how the boats line up:

16.38 Billy from Hong Kong is possibly the furthest person staying up to date with the Bumps in Cambridge. Kudos.

16.36 The results below aren’t all correct – there will be a re-row between Queens, Catz and Maggie tomorrow at 1.15pm, after some earlier controversy.

16.32 Sorry about the delay, folks, but here are the results from the second day of racing in the W1 division:

16.16 Another manic race. Results coming in shortly.

16.13 LMBC bump Catz. Sounds like Tit Hall and King’s have also stopped; that’ll be a bump for King’s W1.

Christ’s W1 bump up on Pembroke W1.

Murray Edward’s hit Magdalene, while Churchill rowover. That’ll see them remain the sandwich boat overnight and into tomorrow’s race.

16.12 Downing are storming ahead – looks like all the action is going on further up the river.

LMBC are gunning for Catz, but no confirmed bump as of yet.

16.11 Assumed rowover for Jesus, after FaT bump Emma.

Caius took a while to pull over, and their cox very nearly got hit by a Newnham blade. She’s alright though, thankfully.

16.10 Can’t hear a bloody thing because of these supporters. Calm down, please!

16.09 Overlaps everywhere! Caius bump Clare, come on girls!

FaT bump Emma.

16.07 CamFM praising the ‘perfect’ rowing of Downing.

Pembroke get bumped by Christ’s. Everything behind them is mental, by the sounds of it.

16.07 Jesus are also making a strong start, and are gradually closing on FaT W1. It’s also tight between Christ’s and Pembroke – the former are looking a bit tired.

16.06 Top three looking smooth as they start the race; Downing open up a slight gap at the front.

16.05 One-minute canon. The Peterhouse fans are squealing. Sit tight.

15.58 W1 coming up shortly. At the top of the division, Downing, Emma and FaT all rowed over yesterday – they’ll be looking to keep that going this afternoon. Jesus, who sit in fourth, will want to change that!

15.55 Just heard a joke about that Queens’ rower who caught crabs earlier this afternoon. In a boat, what!

15.49 Here we are: the final leaderboard after that M2 race.

15.44 Shout out to CamFm again, who just shouted us (read: me) out on the radio. But seriously, our blog wouldn’t be possible without them. Check out their fabulous coverage here.

15.42 Final results to follow shortly – there’s a bit of confusion on the leaderboard due to that mix-up between Wolfson and Corpus.

15.37 Oop, technical rowovers for both Wolfson M1 and Corpus M1, as a result of all of that mess. Looks like rowovers everywhere else, as the race draws to a close.

15.35 Pembroke M2 failed to clear the river, I’m hearing. Wolfson M1 then ploughed into the back of them, so Corpus M1 just stopped rowing! Wolfson hoping for a re-row, apparently.

15.33 Pembroke M2 caught a crab, and they’ve been bumped for the second day in a row as a result. Queens’ M2 move above them.

Confirmation that Homerton M1 bumped Sidney M1.

15.32 Looks like it’s gonna be a very long row-over for St Edmund’s M1, as Emma M2 bump back on Darwin M1. Poor fellas – they will remain the sandwich boat, too.

15.31 Homerton M1 closing fast on Sidney M1. Bump looks imminent.

15.30 Jesus hit the bank, but somehow managed to recover. Pretty impressive!

15.29 Corpus M1 have bumped up on Wolfson M1, whilst Selwyn M1 and Fitz M1 are opening up a huge gap between them and the rest of the division.

15.28 Further down the river, Queens’ and Pembroke are pulling over. Looks like the former have bumped the latter.

Caius M2 bump Downing M2! Go on the lads.

15.27 And they’re off. Selwyn M1 looking smooth at the top, I’m told. Downing M2 are rowing very close to the bank but looking alright also.

15.23 Four-minute canon’s just gone. I need a wee.

15.20 Email just in from Juande in Malaga: “Vamos Fitzguillermo! Bumping today, si!” Fair shout, Juande. They’ll be going for a second consecutive bump after hitting Downing M2 yesterday.

15.16 Selwyn M1 start up first, followed by Fitz M1, Downing M2, Caius M2 and Churchill M1. At the other hand of the division, St Ed’s M1 prop up the table, with Emma M2, Darwin M1 and Corpus Christi M1 just above them.

After the last M2 race saw six bumps, today’s promises to be action-packed. Stay tuned.

15.09 M2 up next, due to start at 15.20. Presume it’ll be delayed, though, after the earlier re-row.

15.08 Just noticed this very bizarre tweet from yesterday afternoon:

Sorry, what?! 

15.05 Afternoon all, Will Pithers back here for the third afternoon of Lent Bumps. Splendiferous weather again, isn’t it? Send us a tweet if you’re down by the river: @TabSport.

15.04 And here it is:

15.01 Full run down of those results in a minute…

15.00 Queens’ M3 caught an ejector crab on the row home in the previous division – shocking, given they were tipped to continue their fine form at the top of M4 division!

14.55 Pembroke W2 crashed, as it happens, which is what caused the technical row overs.

14.54 Technical row overs have been awarded at the back end of the division.

14.53 Emma W2 are headed for a row over, seven or eight lengths clear of Hughes Hall.

14.52 Sidney bump Robinson with significant overlap – someone will get a severe telling off afterwards…

14.50 Fitz have bumped Homerton W2, who looked at one point as if they were going to bump Emma – well done Emma for pulling away!

Girton bump Maggie. Christs bump FaT, and Newnham are heading for a row over.

14.48 Selwyn W1 technique leaves something to be desired, but continue at the head of the division. They lead Churchill by a quarter of a length.

14.48 The race has begun!

14.43 Thanks for the emails of support…and the inevitable rowing puns! The Womens 2nd division will start later as a result of the re-row from earlier.

14.40 Just to confirm the earlier results: depsite all the action, little happened. Of most significance, Darwin and Catz lost the chance to achieve Blades, since they rowed over.

14.38 Plenty of shout outs to Robinson, and quite rightly so. Special shout out to their M2 crew waiting at the boathouse, who achieved their first bump yesterday for the first time in over 18 months.

14.36 Messages flooding in from parents, although presumably not this one, directed at a Murray Edwards’ girl. Someone texted “Murray Edwards W1, your stroke is hot”. Sexy….

14.32 So in summary, despite all that action, only Emma’s boats in that division managed to bump – with Emma M3 bumping Christ’s to take 3rd place, and Emma M4 on Churchill in the middle of the division. They’ll be going delirious.

14.25 Early indications show that no bumps were done in the re-row, so the back order of the division is as follows: Clare M3, Catz M3, Magdalene M3, FaT M4, Sidney M2 and Churchill M4.

14.23 Clare M3 are miles clear of Catz M3 (well, three lengths!), who themselves are four lengths ahead of Magdalene. Sidney’s boat ahead of Churchill but they are another crew who look tired from this re-row.

14.20 Churchill down to a length on Sidney. Clare M3 at the top of this rerow and rowing extremely well, two lengths ahead of Catz M3. FaT’s M4 are very tired but are catching Magdalene M3.

14.19  The rerow of the back end of the divison begins.

14.15 Just to confirm the race result: Queens’ M3 rowed over again, as did Fitz M2. Christ’s M3 were bumped by Emma M3.

14.12 The back end of the division will be rerowed in a few minutes, but understandably, the Churchill rower looks a bit sheepish. Our preview did warn you of ejector crabs!

14.10 Selwyn M3 have rowed over. Queens’ M3 row over as well.

14.08 MAN DOWN – rower from Christs M2 has fallen in the river from catching an ejector crab, hence the stoppage at the back. Will technical row overs be awarded or will the race be restarted?

14.07 Emma M3 have avoided Spoons. Emma just bumped Christ’s; Queens’ are four lengths ahead of Fitz, who, likewise, are comfortably ahead of Christ’s.

14.06 Latter part of the division has stopped: probably a pile up at the back of the division. Queens’ easily ahead at the top.

14.05 Emma catching Christ’s; Homerton M2 four boat lengths behing Hughes Hall. Darwin being caught by Selwyn rapidly.

14.04 No early bumps yet. Queens’ are a boat’s length ahead at Grassy Corner. Bump at Railway Bridge between Emma M3 and Clare M4.

14.01 They’ve just gone off! Queens’ looking easy at the front, despite being the sandwich boat and having to row twice the amount of any other crew. Fitz M2 also looking very strong.

14.01 One-minute cannon just gone off.

14.00 Perfect rowing conditions on the river. The ducks are enjoying themselves as well, which is always nice, but the rowing is what we are all here for!

13.58 Shout out from Washington DC to Maggie’s M1! International rowers from Johns – quite incredible!

13.57 In the M4 division, Darwin M2 and Catz M3 are on target for Blades, providing they can bump up today as well.

13.55 If thats from the real Dyson who invented the actual Dyson, I will eat my hat and then some – just 4 minutes to go now until M4 begin!

13.53 Shout out from James Dyson to Robinson M1 – “Do it for the lads!”

13.52 Feel free to send in your tweets and shout outs to any of your friends on the river!

13.48 Hello everyone and welcome back to the live feed at Tab Sport, and Day 3 of Lent Bumps 2013! It promises to be a thriller, and the action kicks off with M4 in just under 10 minutes time! I am Gianpiero Roscelli, and I will be covering M4, W2 and M1 divisions. My esteemed colleague Will Pithers will be covering W1 and M2 divisions later on in the day as well!

DAY 2

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17.00 Good old Caius. Very Solid. I’m signing off, thanks for keeping me company, y’all. Check back tomorrow at 2pm for more mental bumps action!

16.59 Final M1 standings:

16.58 I’m hearing that it was in fact Queens’ who had technical difficulties back there – they had a rudder malfunction, but still managed to bump up on Lady Margaret.

16.54 There’s so much going on out there that nobody’s really sure what’s happened! Stay tuned; you’ll know when I do.

16.51 Tit Hall have been nabbed by Christ’s. Ones to watch this year, by all accounts. A day one bump is as good a way to start as any.

16.49 Potential an oar breakage for LMBC back there – or some sort of technical difficulties, anywho. What chaos!

16.48 Jesus bump FaT.

Catz have bumped Emma. Huge celebrations, I hear.

16.47 Queens’ have bumped up on Lady Margaret. Rush to clear the river, this could cause some trouble for the boats behind….

16.46 All looking steady in the middle of the division.

16.45 Caius are looking comfortable, but Downing aren’t too far behind, and have opened up quite a gap between them and Lady Margaret.

16.44 Selwyn have bumped King’s!

16.43 Looking further up the river, Emma and chasing Magdalene, and Catz are chasing Emma. Quarter of a length between all the crews. Huge!

16.43 Half a length between the two. Crowd going crazy.

16.42 Queens’ being rapidly closed by FaT, who are looking incredibly strong.

16.40 And we’re off!

16.37 Apologies for my hiatus there. Had some technical difficulties. Here’s how the M1 teams line up:

16.36 Caius have been sat at the top of the division since 2011, and aren’t expected to be troubled this afternoon. Yeah.

Further down the division, Girton have been impressive (currently in 9th) so expect something from them.

Four minutes ’til race time!

16.20 Fairly sure that’s it for the W1 race. Here’s how things ended up. Will let you know if there’s any change on this:

16.18 CamFM presenter’s mum has messaged in to their studio. Where’s MY mum?!

16.17 Further up the river, MEdwards bump Selwyn to lift themselves off the bottom of the leaderboard. Looks like there have been six bumps in this race, which seems to be quite a lot for a top division.

Disappointed that Caius couldn’t hit Christ’s, but they’re holding steady in 8th!

16.09 Downing are pulling away, and don’t look like they’ll be troubled this afternoon. The real race here is between Emma and FaT – half a length’s clear water between them.

16.08 Tit Hall bumped by Lady Margaret a couple of minutes ago. King’s will row-over today, then, most probably.

16.08 FaT have gone too wide on a corner and have lost a bit of ground coming into Long Reach. Three quarters of a length between them and Emma.

16.07 Peterhouse have just taken Maggie. Pulling over now.

Newnham have bumped up on Queens’.

16.06 Clare have just been bumped by Christ’s.

16.05 Downing are looking very strong at the top, but FaT are gunning for Emma.

And we have a bump! Jesus have hit Pembroke. They weren’t lying; these guys are strong. They’re not pulling over. “Likely to be carnage,” I’m told. Someone’s not conceding. Ouchy.

16.02 A little tardy, but things are about to kick off. I just weed a little. I’m being told to look out for the battle between Jesus and Pembroke in 4th and 5th. The former have two Blues in the boat, apparently, so keep an eye out for them.

15.59 Just to warn you all in advance, I have incredible Caius bias. Come on, girls.

15.54 Email in from George, who’s chilling on Grassy Corner and enjoying the rays. “Quite a different scene to yesterday, weather-wise…thank God!” He’s right you know – it’s cloudless out there. Get out there, support your college!

W1 kicking off in five minutes. Downing head the pack at the start of play, with Emmanuel, FaT and Pembroke in second, third, and fourth respectively.

15.51 …… Sorry. That was app-oar-ling.

15.50 Decided to put the digestives away before I devoured the whole packet. Always preferred Oar-eos anyway.

15.48 CamFM suggesting a Newnham jingle: “Eyyyyy, sexy lady” …. no comment.

15.41 W1, our first top division race of the week, set to kick off at 16.00. Pumped.

15.39 Things have calmed down a bit; just retrieved a packet of caramel digestives from the kitchen. Good stuff. Keep your comments/ tips/ abuse coming in: Tweet me @TabSport or email [email protected] Come on, I can take it.

15.35 The leaderboard after that crazy, incident-filled M3 race. St Edmund’s are on a mission, aren’t they?

15.32 And it’s over….pretty much as soon as it began(?!) Bizarre first experience of Lent Bumps for yours truly. Mental!

15.31 Carnage at the back, by the sounds. Clare Hall causing all sorts of problems for the boats down there. Exciting stuff.

15.29 Clare Hall, right down the bottom of this Division, have “literally crashed into the bump” with Robinson – so are finding it difficult to clear the river, by the sounds.

Magdalene, who were over-bumped yesterday, have been bumped by Catz. They’re in freefall!

15.28 Hughes Hall have bumped Selwyn, too. It’s all go here. St Ed’s have also hit Peterhouse, so they’re currently heading the M3 Division.

15.27 Catz have bumped Magdalene. Manic start here!

15.26 Caius bump Lady Margaret! Get in the boys.

15.25 St Ed’s gaining on Peterhouse big time. Caius also looking good for a bump. “Huge” gap between Tit Hall and Clare.

15.24 And we’re off! Very tight at the top, I hear. Magdalene just about to hit Clare after an early setback yesterday afternoon.

15.22 Checking out the leaderboard after yesterday, it looks as though Peterhouse II have maintained top spot, with St Ed’s I hot on their heels after bumping Selwyn II. All to play (row?) for.

15.19 Will Pithers, aka blogging king, back on board. Stand by for M3. Kicking off any minute. “The four-minute cannon has just gone,” say our friends at CamFM.

PS. Apologies if I repeat any appalling boat puns Sam’s already dropped. There’s only so much bumping and grinding one can do.

15.14 Dear reader it’s time for me to say goodbye. Will’ll be on the decks shortly. Remember to follow us tomorrow, and keep tweeting @TabSport and emailing [email protected] It’s been great fun.

15.12 CamFM are covering bumps on 97.2 FM, so put down your Gameboy, turn off your Walkman and tune in if you want radio coverage. Don’t worry, the Falklands will be done soon.

15.10 Been a really good first two days for Medwards W2, not so for Wolfson and Sidney who have plummeted somewhat.

15.08 Next race will be M3 at around 15.20.

15.06 Reverend Dave has given us a shout: “Where’s Jesus in all of this? Oh, he’s just walking on the water.”

15.04 A lot of action in that W3 division. Not that type of action you filthy mind. Here are the final standings:

15.03 An unnamed rower known only as “Pussycat” says, “Get this fucking owl out of my boat, he can’t play the guitar and he’s ruined a fiver of mine with honey.” Troubled times it seems.

15.01 Alex from up on the Hill says “It’s a crime that Murdoch can monopolise TV coverage, but Tab is helping to fill the void.”

15.00 “Can’t believe that everyone’s getting so excited over my face” Helen, Troy.

14.59 Provisional results for the W3 division:

14.58 “This rowing is good and everything, but there are too many people on each boat and not enough Tigers,” says Ang. Hush your gums, blud.

14.57 “Loving the coverage Tab, you humour keeps us warm through the cold Russian winters,” Vlad and the rest of the boys at the KGB, Moscow.

14.55 “Heard R Kelly sees nothing wrong with this event.” Joe, the Valleys.

14.53 Cracking couple of days for Darwin in that Division, but not everyone is a fan: “I hate Darwin” says Mitt in Utah.

14.52 As always, full results as soon as we have them.

14.51 Downing have gone through in a rowover as clear as my internet browsing history, Darwin have caught Clare to make it 2 in 2 for them.

14.49 Darwin W2 and Queens’ W3 have just gone past, looking like they’ll row over. Big distance between them.

14.48 Homerton II looking good for a rowover. Emmanuel W3 may have bumped. At Long Reach, Downing have come through looking magnificent. In a rowing sense, cheeky.

14.47 The epic tussle between Wolfson and Medwards goes on, Medwards looking good for a bump

14.46 Darwin have a bit of work to do as Queens’ chase them down. Looks like we have another bump, maybe a technical decision needed.

14.46 Murray Edwards very close to Wolfson, it’s nailbiting stuff!

14.45 That  bump happened on first post reach. Homerton getting close to Clare Hall and Murray Edwards are going well. Downing looking good, Clare in a bit of trouble.

14.44 Disaster for Catz! Number 2 has caught a crab and they’ve been bumped! Maybe Catz do hate water after all…

14.43 Sidney Sussex crew have got some ground to make up, and things looking interesting towards the rear. Aye aye.

14.42 Good starts for Downing, and Peterhouse looking good for a bump early on.

14.41 “Mucho amor for thees Bomps coverage, Señor.” Manuel, Zaragoza.

14.39 Any minute now we’ll have W3. Can Downing maintain their headship? Will Clare catch them? All these questions will be answered, and more.

14.38 “Too many technical decisions. It’s a fuckin disgrace.” Didier, Paris

14.37 Pretty soon we’ll have W3 for you. Gonna be sik.

14.35 Full results from M4:

14.34 Hey, I just met you/And this is crazy/But I love Moby Dick/So Call Me Ishmael

14.33 More Carly Rae Jepsen on the radio. SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ROWING!

14.31 Riverside analyst C. Kamara has sent in a report on some of the drama from the M4 division – “An unbelievable effort from Fitz M2, who were rowing like ferrets and managed to bump back Christ’s M3 after yesterday’s disappointment!”

14.30 Cracking bit of Queen on the radio at the moment, enough to make me forget impending supervision doom.

14.29 Still waiting on those official M4 results, will get them to you as soon as we can. Thanks for being so patient. You’re great, you really are.

14.25 Downing II and Clare II rowed over in this division yesterday, while Homerton managed to overbump.

14.21 Here’s the starting order for that M3 division, and what happened yesterday, in pictorial form. Sweet.

14.20 “Where my rows at?” asks S. Dogg in Cali. Right here, mate, right here.

14.18 Remember you can listen live on CamFM, 97.2 FM #wireless

14.17 Karl has texted in to say “Lent Bumps is a horrific replication of the type of free-market competition that pits man against fellow man.” Cheer up, Special K.

14.16 Next up we have W3 who will be going at 14.40.

14.15 Big up James Macaulay who has tweeted us to say “In the words of Alfred: “Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up” Expect great things from Fitz M2 tomorrow” Any other batman quotes, send them to [email protected]

14.13 There’s a bit of a tailwind on the river today, which will give the crews a nice lift when they race. It’s a crisp winter’s day otherwise, the sun is shining and its all very pretty. Apparently.

14.11 Apologies, Catz caught Magdalene, not FaT. And it was FaT who were in at the bank, because they were bumped by Sidney. Full resulls when we get them.

14.10 Sidney II seem to have bumped FaT IV, with Churchill well out of it at the back.

14.09 Clare and Queens’ M3 looking good for rowovers. Sidney Sussex are in at the bank for no good reason.

14.08 It looks like Catz have been nipped by FaT.

14.07 Hughes Hall have bumped Homerton, and there’s a technical decision somewhere, will let you know as soon as I do.

14.06 And Fitz have bumped Christ’s! A reversal of what happened yesterday

14.04 Queens’ III are about 3 lengths up on Christ’s, who in turn have Fitz hot on their tail. Fitz have opened up a bit of a gap on Emma behind them.

14.03 Catz M3 are going very well indeed, and Queen’s are being pursued by Corpus, and they’ve bumped!

14.02 Queens’ III have started nicely, and Fitz are hunting down Christ’s

14.01 They’re off!

14.00  M4 will go any minute now…

13.59 If this is all a bit of a mystery to you, check out Gianpiero Roscelli’s superb guide: https://thetab.com/uk/cambridge/2013/02/27/a-guide-to-lent-bumps/

13.58 Just so you know, the two divisions not racing today are M2 and W2

13.56 Someone’s clearly a fan of the women’s divisions: “My bump, my bumps, my bumps, my bumps, my bumps. My lovely lady bumps.” B.E Peas, USA.

13.53 Remember to keep you message coming in to [email protected] or tweet @tabsport. Benedict in Rome says “Kicking back on a wednesday afternoon followin the Tab’s bumps coverage. This is what retirement is all about!”

13.50 Hi all, Sam Hobbs here again to bring you all the action from Day 2 of Lent Bumps. First up we’ve we’ve got the M4 division at 14.00. This is how the division in shaping up after yesterday:

 

DAY 1

17.00 Right, that’s all from us for the day. See you tomorrow for more action from the river,  when the M1 and W1 crews will fight it out.

16.57 Here are the results from the M2 result, courtesy of this great chart feature from our friends at CamFM.

16.54 Another bump to report. Darwin M1 have caught up with Emma M2.

16.53 Pembroke bumped by Christ’s. It’s also heating up between Jesus and Sidney!

16.51 Fitz have bumped Downing and Queens’ have caught Wolfson.

16.50 Less than a quarter of a length between the two boats.

16.49 Jesus look like they’re gunning for Sidney. Can they last?

16.48 Caius losing ground on Fitz, who are hot on Downing’s tail.

16.46 No bumps so far. King’s cruising at the top. A boat’s length between Sidney and Jesus.

16.45 We’re off!

16.44 We’re a minute away from the action.

16.41 A barge further up the course has delayed the start. Ergh. I wanted to eat soon. Should be up and running in a bit.

16.36 Keep your tweets flying in to @TabSport. Been getting a lot of negativity towards rowing as a sport. Are they all “smelly and uninteresting”, as @MaxToomey has told us on Twitter?

16.32 Just one more race to go, kids. M2 will be kicking off at 16.40.

16.27 Sadly, my time here is done, and I have to hand over to my esteemed colleagues John and Will. They are a very safe pair of hands. Which is tragic, because each of them lost a hand in a waterskiing accident some years ago, meaning they only have two between them. It makes typing quite hard, so that’s why they’re working together. See you tomorrow, rowing fans!

16.24 “Sat in a packed bar in Larnaca, Cyprus with a huge cohort of Caius fans. C’mon lads!” says Tommy in Cyprus.

16.23 There are rumours that Kim Jong-Un has lowered censorship in North Korea to allow bumps coverage through. All on the condition that he is crowned winner and champion supreme of all rowing ever.

16.22 Got some more messages to read out: Bruce in Melbourne says, “Strife mate, what a race. Absolutely loving bumps as always. Good call.”

16.20 It’s really been a thrilling day so far, a bit of everything. Well, not quite everything, but a lot of things.

16.19 These are the results as we understand them from W2:

16.17 We’ve got a bumps riddle for anyone who is that way inclined. Dave Radzinski asks “What has a head, a tail, is brown and has no legs?” Answers on a postcard please.

16.15 Three overbumps already, who would’ve thought it? We’ll get you the full results as soon as possible.

16.13 Another overbump! Homerton have overbumped Sidney Sussex after Fitz bumped Robinson between them! Big effort from those guys.

16.09 Downing rowed over, but it looks like St. Ed’s bumped Caius. Medwards and Churchill rowed over.

16.08 Very little bump action on grassy corner. We’re hearing that Downing were pushing Eddies before they caught a crab.

16.07 Looks like Fitz have bumped Robinson.

16.06 Looks like St. Ed’s might have bumped Caius, Murray Edwards have around three lengths on Churchill and LMBC have bumped. Newnham II have bumped Pembroke.

16.05 There’s a good battle going on between Pembroke and Newnham, with LMBC gaining on GIirton. And we have a bump! Not sure who yet, we’ll let you know.

16.04 About two lengths between Fitz and Homerton. Murray Eds and LMBC still looking strong.

16.02 They’re off, with leaders Murray Edwards beginning comfortably. Looks like Robinson are in a bit of trouble.

15.57 Less than 5 minutes to go until W2. W1 and M1 aren’t rowing today, so the final race of the day will be M2 at 16.40.

15.55 Nutrition expert Jennie Leggat says, “Loving the bumps action, but if you want some grind to go with it, come to Centre Stage – Friday and Saturday at the Mumford Theatre.”

15.51 Tab Editor John Bardsley has let me know his thoughts on the action: “There are so many boats! How do they all fit in the river?! Wow!”

15.47 We’ve got all sort of people following our coverage. Man-about-town Giles Harper-Donnelly says: “It’s just really special. The pinnacle of sporting achievement. The best of the best. And that’s why I love the Champions League.”

15.42 W2 is up next at 16.00; here’s the starting order.

1 Murray Edwards
2 Churchill
3 Girton
4 Lady Margaret II
5 Emmanuel II
6 Sidney Sussex
7 Robinson
8 Fitzwilliam
9 Homerton
10 Hughes Hall
11 First and Third II
12 Jesus II
13 Christ’s II
14 Pembroke II
15 Newnham II
16 Caius II
17 St. Edmund’s

15.40 Here’s another text that’s just been sent in: “Oi Sam you coming buttery tonight?” Yes. Yes I am.

15.39 And here are those results:

15.38 We’ll get the full results as soon as we can…there was slightly more carnage than originally expected.

15.37 Wow, Magdalene stopped rowing because they thought they had bumped, and then were overbumped by Hughes Hall. Mental. Two overbumps already and we’re only three divisions in.

15.35 M83 are playing on the radio at the moment. That’s a really low division…

15.33 Big shout out to @mercylouise who has tweeted “I may or may not be refreshing the @TabSport #lentbumps feed every minute, waiting for news of a #Maggie bump instead of doing my essay…”

15.32 One of our men bankside has got in touch: “Derice Bannock, who has been doing a bit of coaching work for the boys in Pembroke M2, is very keen that they synchronise their strokes effectively and wants them to really feel the rhythm out there on the river today.”

15.30 Jesus III bumped up on LMBC III.

15.28 Looks like St. Ed’s bumped Selwyn II and King’s II have bumped up on Girton II.

15.25 Trinity Hall bumped up on Clare II.

15.23 Clare Hall have crashed. It doesn’t matter because they’re bottom of the division, but obviously they won’t be too happy.

15.22 Dubious move by Selwyn II, who have taken a risk at a corner or something.

15.20 M3 is off! Magdalene have gone off really well. Rowan Williams will be pleased.

15.16 Big shout out to the guys at CamFM who are doing a cracking job covering an event that seems designed to be as difficult as possible to commentate on.

15.15 Remember that bumps goes on for 5 days, all the way through until Saturday, although not every crew rows every day.

15.13 Despite the melée in W3, it looks like M3 will get going at 15.20 as scheduled. At the bottom of the division, Clare Hall will be chasing Robinson II.

15.11 Just under 15 minutes to go until M3. We’ve got Peterhouse II leading off Selwyn II. Also, just below, we’ve made some adjustments to the final W3 results.

15.03 As you can see, it was all change between 10th and 13th position in the W3 race. A real mix-up, and the possibility of a re-race was being bandied about, although that looks unlikely now. Oar-some performance from Homerton though. Here’s how it looked before the final results:

15.00 And here’s W3:

14.58 Thanks to CamFM, here are the full results from M4:

 

14.52 M3 will be starting at around 15.20, so keep your eyes on this site for more updates. Alternatively, tune in to 97.2 CamFm if you prefer their dulcet tones.

14.51 Dizzee Rascal has got in touch to say, “Last time I went rowing a fish jumped into my boat. It was a Big Dirty Stinkin’ Bass!”

14.49 The lower division bringing plenty of drama, as you would hope. We’ll get you the full results when we know them. In the meantime, why not browse the rest of The Tab. There’s some real quality on there. No, seriously.

14.48 Clare Hall have rowed over. Nice.

14.47 Homerton have bumped! And it’s an overbump on Catz II, very impressive effort. Murray Edwards II have bumped Sidney II ,and Emma III have been bumped by Churchill II.

14.46 Chruchill II have foliage in their hair as they’ve bumped. Homerton are chasing down Catz.

14.44 It looks like Darwin have been bumped but there’s more than a fair dose of carnage as they failed to row over. Drama!

14.42 W3 is off and running. No news of any bumps yet, but Downing and Clare are already looking strong.

14.40 W3 will be under way any minute now. Let’s see what this division has in store…

14.39 Joan from Barcelona has emailed us backing Jesus for the win: “Just want say that your lent bumps is very exciting for everybody in Catalunya. Go Jesús! Mes que un boat club!”

14.38 Lance from the USA has got in contact to say: “Good to see a good clean race between honest sportsmen and women.”

14.35 Here’s the starting order for the W3 Division, which will be beginning in about 5 minutes.

Division 3
1 Downing II
2 Clare II
3 Trinity Hall II
4 Darwin
5 Wolfson
6 Peterhouse II
7 Sidney Sussex II
8 Murray Edwards II
9 Clare Hall
10 St. Catharine’s II
11 Emmanuel III
12 Churchill II
13 Homerton II
14 Murray Edwards III
15 King’s II
16 Darwin II
17 Queens’ II
18 Queens’ III

14.30 It seems that there were five crews that bumped in the M4 division: Christ’s III, Darwin II, Clare III, Catz III, Sidney II. Congratulations to them!

14.27 A bit of history for you: Lent Bumps only became its own event in 1887. Before that, Lent Bumps and May Bumps were just one race.

14.21 Whilst we await the official results from M4, given the Oscars were happening earlier this week, which Hollywood Stars would be best in a film about bumps? River Phoenix would be a shoo-in I imagine…

14.18 The next race is W3, which will begin at 14.40. Let’s hope Downing II and Clare II can keep things friendly at the top of the Division, otherwise W3 might become WW3.

14.16 Bumps is a fascinating phenomenon, and attracts attention the world over. Francois in Aix-en-Provence says, “J’adore Lent Bumps. Allez Downing.” Keep your thoughts  coming in guys, [email protected] and @TabSport.

14.15 Here’s an idea of what bumps means to some of the competitors: Jonny Casey is Men’s Captain at Caius, who are top of the river. “Bumps is something totally unique the world of rowing so we particularly look forward to sharing the experience with our novices and rowers who are new to Cambridge as there’s nothing quite like it.” If Ms Jepsen were here, I’m sure she would concur.

14.13 We’ll have full results as soon as we can get them. At the moment Carly Rae Jepsen is playing on Cam FM, and she seems to know nothing about the M4 Division. Disappointing.

14.11 One of our correspondents by the river has said that Fitz II had an equipment failure and that led to them being bumped by Christ’s II.

14.09 Looks like we have row-overs for Queens’ III at the top of the Division.

14.08 We have our first bumps! Magdalene have ben bumped by Clare, Catz have bumped FaT and Sidney have bumped Churchill IV.

14.06 Selwyn have caught a huge crab and the stroke is now not rowing at all! They’re still holding off Emma.

14.05 Queens’ III have opened up a large gap thanks to Fitz’s crab, they’re about 3 or 4 lengths up.

14.03 And they’re off. Lent Bumps is up and running. Fitz II have caught a crab and are in trouble from Christ’s II.

14.02 If you have any opinions on what’s going on, email [email protected] or tweet @TabSport.

14.00 And here’s the full starting order for the M4 Division:

1 Queens’ III
2 Fitzwilliam II
3 Christ’s III
4 Emmanuel III
5 Homerton II
6 Hughes Hall II
7 Queens’ IV
8 Corpus Christi II
9 Selwyn III
10 Emmanuel IV
11 Darwin II
12 Churchill III
13 Magdalene III
14 Clare III
15 First and Third IV
16 St. Catharine’s III
17 Churchill IV
18 Sidney Sussex II

13.59 Hi guys, Sam Hobbs here. Welcome to The Tab‘s coverage of Lent Bumps! First up is the M4 Division, led by Queens’ III.