Cutting it short: What a girl’s hair really means

There are a few standard hairstyles girls solemnly abide by and believe it or not, each style represents its own mood.

In fact, it’s pretty easy to detect a girl’s personality from her hair alone.  Yep, hair analysis is a science (kind of).

It’s a well known fact that men struggle to understand a woman’s personality, yet crucial hints are quite literally staring lads right in the face.  Get to grips with the girl’s hair – get to grips with the girl.  Easy.

Here’s our pick of the most common styles and their meanings.  Take note:

1. I woke up like this

….She definitely did not wake up like this. Mousse, hairspray and any product with the word ‘volume’ were key players in achieving this Made-In-Chelsea-Big-Hair-Bitch look.

This girl is either notoriously posh or a wannabe rah trying to fit in with everyone else in Mason. Don’t be alarmed when she addresses you as ‘darling.’

If she puts this much oomph into her hair, this princess will definitely be a high maintenance diva.  In other words, you’ve got your work cut out from the very beginning.

Ideal date: tea and scones/champers at the races/wild house party at daddy’s pad in Cambridge

2. Curls

Okay so she’s tended to each strand lovingly and tentatively, so you better not touch that shit.

Reserved for dressier nights out (more mechu than vodbull), getting these locks perfect has taken a good hour.  This look basically says “I’ve made an effort,  look at my hair.”

A lady opting for this hairstyle wants to be treated properly. If she’s put such a high level of maintenance into her appearance, she’ll be expecting a lot of attention on your part, fellas.

And if you happen to bag a beauty who gets up at 6am to curl her hair daily, you better be prepared to treat her as royalty 24/7.  Nope, no exaggeration there.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ideal date: Anything ‘classy’ enough to justify curling her hair again

3. The Quiff

This hairstyle is another tell-tale sign of a night-out diva.

The quiff works well with a saucy snarl (as modelled below) and lets strangers know that the women in question is definitely, without a doubt, queen bee.

Taking inspiration from a mixture of Amy Winehouse and Jedward, this girl is seeking the showstopping effect.  She’s also competitive by nature – her quiff must always be the highest, bounciest quiff.

If  interested in one of these challenging chicks, you better stand down and tame your ego – this girl will insist on being the dominant figure in the pairing.

Advice?  Scrap the macho approach.  She won’t be impressed and you certainly won’t end up scoring a Queen Quiff.

Ideal date: Anything competitive that allows her to beat you

 

4. Pony tail

Slightly trickier, a pony tail means one of two things.

The first possibility is “I’m actually really sporty and don’t have time to bother with my hair daily.”

When facebook stalking this girl, expect an abundance of team photos (she’ll be on the swim, hockey and netball teams) looking energised and awake in her UoB tracksuit.

However more commonly, this hairstyle simply means “I just haven’t washed my hair. Can I get away with another day?”

For a guy in search of a woman who’s more down to earth, you may be in luck with the ponytail. But all the same if she’s sporty and competitive, she’ll expect a man who’s on top of his game.

Ideal date: “Wanna be my new gym buddy?”

5. Plaits

Occasionally (albeit rarely) you’ll spot a girl round campus modelling some form of plait.

Most likely to be seen in the library post-exam period,  this girl is looking forward to summer reading and BBQing with friends from her village primary school.

As for those with looser, messier plaits… they’ve profited from an equally fairytale childhood and are just trying to mask it with what they perceive as a ‘jaded edge.’

These nature-loving girlies are probably most likely to fall for a man with a good knowledge of Harry Potter, or anything that relates back to her 12-year old past for that matter.

Youthfully-minded and happy-go-lucky by nature, these girls tend to be bundles of fun and eager to partake in immature banter.  However, that’s not to suggest there’s any room for slack: mistake Hagrid for Harry and you’re out.

Ideal date: A picnic with orange squash and ham sandwiches

6. Scruffy Bun

Let’s just clear this up because no-one appears to understand what a scruffy bun means. This hairstyle should be referred to as the bunny killer.

If a girl snapchats you with said hairstyle, automatically assume she isn’t going to be up for meeting you today.  In fact, she’s not even leaving the house.

Don’t even ask. She’s already got a date with Ben and Jerry watching Netflix.

Ideal date: No.

7. Coloured

Referring to herself as ‘Queen of Sass,’ this girl has been every shade of purple, pink, blue – you name it!

She’s generally quite daring, justifying her regular rash decisions (both hair and life related) with a solid ‘yolo.’  Also, thanks to her sassy-electric hair choice, she’s easy to find in clubs – what a plus.

Be prepared to act on your feet men, she will be spontaneous and expect you to adapt when she unpredictably throws you into tricky situations.

Ideal date: Rave. Love glow sticks and paint

8. Straight ‘n’ Sleek

Ah straighteners, we love you.  The go-to style which looks like a lot more effort than it actually was.

Girls who adopt straightened glossy locks are generally those who like things to be done simply, but well.

They’re also a fan of using the sharp look to their advantage, whether it be rocking the professional vibe or just whipping that hair back in hormonal rage.  Watch out boys, they can be ruthless.

If you’re attempting to romance a woman with this style, dress sharp and be smooth, there is absolutely no room for error with such a slick customer to impress.

Ideal date: She’ll decide (you’ll be whipped soon enough, anyway).

9. Bandanna Babe

There’s always one…

Apparently this is a thing?  This girl is full-on edgy and the proud owner of not one, but a whole colour spectrum of bandannas.

She likes to wear her trusty pal when solemnly strumming away at her guitar, just to add more emotion and all-round edginess to her lyrics.  Yeah, that’s right, she writes her own songs.  Obviously.

In pursuit of this lass, you should be as laid back as possible; try searching random words in YouTube to source the weirdest bands. No doubt she’ll be impressed that you seem to be as ‘out there’ as she is, even if she’s never heard of your new-found favourite group.

Ideal date: Any festival nobody’s actually heard of

So, that’s it lads.  Be aware of the hair and you might just get lucky, although don’t blame The Tab if your hair-based strategy backfires.

You may have played all your cards right, but she still has to like you in the first place.