BNOC 2014: Heat 1

After months of waiting, the nominations are finally in. It’s time to vote for your favourite BNOC of 2014

The first heat sees four stars lock horns in the battle for superstardom, but who gets your vote?

Scroll to the bottom to have your say.

1. Sam Markey

Part-time rugger bugger, full time lad. Sam Markey’s exploits on and off the rugby field are the stuff of legend. When he’s not making strides on the pitch, he’s sinking pints down his favourite watering hole, the Soak, or conquesting the females at Fab.

It may come as little surprise that Sam is no stranger to the fame that comes with BNOC status, having run in last year’s competition, only for victory to be snatched from his grasp in the final stages.

According to friends, Sam’s burning desire to seize this coveted prize were made clear when he decided to extend his University career with a Masters in Engineering, whilst preparing a campaign to take the award he believes is rightly his.

2013/14 has been a year of triumph for Mr. Markey: Vice Captain of the Rugby Union 1st XV, and Prince of Rainbow and Fab Bottle Bar, is it Sam’s time to become the king?

2. Fi Kempster

Known for her notoriety, it’s no surprise Fi has been nicknamed ‘Fifi Kempstini’, a possible alluding to the Godfather perhaps?

A final year Theology student and infamous for her first-year exploits at Maple Bank, there can’t be many that don’t know Ms. Kempstini.

We’ve been informed by local intel that Fi is easily identifiable from the crowd, given that she is often sporting her own unique take on the Kukri Lacrosse outfit- perhaps a fashion guru in the making?

Friends have often complained that a walk across Campus with Fi will take a good 2-3 times longer than normal, given her need to bask in the adoration of her fans.

We were also informed that Fi has some moments of real embarrassment from her time at UoB, however the source was too scared that she would unleash the retribution of the Kempstini, to come forth with any real information.

All we were given were two words: “Library toilets.”

She’s already a household name in the shady underworld of UoB, but is she more Al Capone, than John Dillinger?



3. Mikey ‘ the womaniser’ Bamford

If you’re a 2nd year female student, you know The Bamford. From Croydon to Heeley Road, Mikey’s face will be a daily sight to his list of female acquaintances.

Mikey enters the competition still young, a mere second year in Archeology and Anthropology- a testament to the extent that his fame has spread.

Friends informed us that in order to sustain such a hectic social life, Mikey has developed an invaluable intolerance to alcohol, allowing him to hit Broad street and Fab at least 4-5 times a week. Even amongst all the frantic socialising, Mr. Bamford still manages to schedule in running and weight-lifting twice a week, in order to keep his physique up to the standards of his demanding fan club.

One friend said: “Mikey smashes birds like he smashes gym- Ruthless”

Isn’t it time that Mikey’s womanising talents were converted into something more?


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4. Shanaka ‘Ed’ Rupasinghe

When it comes to the scientific world of UoB, this BNOC towers above all the rest.

If you don’t know Shanaka personally, you’re bound to have observed his rise to fame through his years of University and Society membership.

Ed (as he is known informally), has held  positions as a Mason Hall RA, Biosoc President, Liberty Halls Officer, and member of the notorious Brum n’ Bass society. Despite the weight of being a brainiac and a man of the people borne heavily upon his shoulders, Ed’s ultimate achievements have been observed when he lets his hair down.

Described as a “Big thing” at Rainbow, and the “ultimate Fab enthusiast”, friends said that Ed had reached BNOC status through his ruthlessness and sheer dedication for the task at hand. The dedication sure paid off, and now Ed is regularly observed reaping the awards, and “shmoozing the hunnies”.

He’s already the Lord Sugar of Societies, does he deserve the sweet taste of being the ultimate BNOC too?

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