Truth about Nance O’Neil’s relationship with Lizzie Borden, as Netflix’s Monster got it wrong

Nance O’Neil and Lizzie Borden became friends years after Lizzie was acquitted of murdering her father and stepmother, but was there actually something romantic between them? Here’s what Nance O’Neil herself said.

Lizzie Borden has been surrounded by rumours for more than a century. Even after she was acquitted of murdering her father and stepmother in 1893, people continued to speculate about almost every part of her life. One of the most intriguing stories concerns her friendship with actress Nance O’Neil.

So, how did Nance O’Neil meet Lizzie Borden?

Nance O’Neil was the stage name of Gertrude Lamson, an actress who became known for playing dramatic and tragic roles. She met Lizzie in 1904 while performing in Boston, more than a decade after Lizzie’s infamous murder trial.

Nance was a successful stage actress at the time, while Lizzie was living a fairly private life in Fall River, Massachusetts. Lizzie had seen Nance perform and sent her a note asking if she could meet her. The note came with a bouquet of flowers. Nance received her in her dressing room at Boston’s Tremont Theatre. After that, they met at one another’s homes.

They became friends and spent time together, but the exact nature of their relationship has never really been established. Over the years, some writers have suggested that they were romantically involved. Others have treated them as close friends.

What did Nance O’Neil think of Lizzie?

Nance remembered Lizzie very differently from the notorious figure created by newspapers and later popular culture. Speaking to journalist Minna Littmann for the New Bedford Standard in June 1927, Nance described her as a “frail little old-fashioned gentlewoman” with grey eyes, greying hair and an “unmistakable air of refinement and intellect”.

She said Lizzie was well read, conversant with the best literature and able to speak interestingly about her travels abroad. She also remembered her kindness towards other people and her “great fondness for animals”.

But loneliness was the quality Nance seemed to remember most strongly. She said Lizzie was “obviously always depressed by the shadow of some tragedy”, although she did not initially know what that tragedy was. Nance recalled her as a woman who was “always so alone”.

Did Nance O’Neil believe Lizzie was innocent?

Yes. Nance said that she could not believe Lizzie was capable of the murders. When she first met Lizzie, she did not know that she was the same woman who had been accused of killing her father and stepmother. Somebody eventually told her.

Nance said the revelation changed nothing. She said, “That made not the slightest difference to me. I want to make that clear. It did not alter our relations in the least.”

She also said the murder case was never discussed between them. “Of course, the tragedy itself was never mentioned between us; never was there ever so much as an allusion to it.”

Nance added, “I simply felt a great sympathy for her, and a great deal of admiration for the way she carried on. She was always so alone.”

Were Lizzie Borden and Nance O’Neil lovers?

There have been decades of speculation that the two women were romantically involved. Even in Ryan Murphy’s Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story, they seemed to have a romantic relationship.

Their friendship has also sometimes been discussed alongside the idea of a “Boston marriage”, a term used for households or partnerships involving two independent women. But there is no surviving diary or letters proving that Lizzie and Nance were lovers.

In Nance’s 1927 interview, she described Lizzie as a friend, recalled visiting one another’s homes and said Lizzie once stayed for several days at her country place in Tyngsboro, near Lowell. She also recalled Lizzie coming to Boston to enjoy plays, concerts and the company of a small circle of friends.

Nance also corrected some reports about their friendship. She said claims that she had stayed at the Borden home in Fall River, or that she had met Lizzie’s sister Emma, were incorrect.

There have also been stories about Lizzie financially helping Nance and people around her. Later accounts have suggested that Lizzie sometimes paid for social gatherings and helped friends financially, leading some writers to question whether Nance’s friendship with her was partly motivated by money.

Why did Lizzie and Nance stop seeing each other?

Nance said they never met again after she finished her season in the East and went on tour. Their lives simply went in different directions. There weren’t even letters between them.

In 1927, it was reported,  “No letters were exchanged in the nearly quarter of a century which has elapsed since Miss Borden and Miss O’Neil bade each other good-by.”

When asked about that, Nance said, “I am afraid I am a rather poor correspondent. We were like ships that pass in the night and speak each other in passing.”

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