The one thing Hayden Panettiere’s ex Brian Hickerson didn’t want her to include in the memoir

Just months before Hayden Panettiere’s death, her ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson spoke openly about her book, This Is Me: A Reckoning, and revealed there was one particular story he had asked her not to add.

Hayden Panettiere died on August 16, 2026, aged 36, after she was found unresponsive at a residence inside Greenville’s Judson Mill Lofts in South Carolina. Her cause and manner of death have not been confirmed.

Now, a police report obtained by ABC News has revealed that Hickerson and his brother, Zach, were at the residence when emergency crews were working to save Panettiere.

But months before that, Hickerson had already spoken about the difficult parts of his relationship with Panettiere and the memoir she had written about it.

TW: This article contains references to domestic abuse.

Brian admitted he was abusive towards Hayden

Panettiere’s memoir went into detail about her relationship with Hickerson, including allegations of domestic abuse. In an interview with TMZ ahead of the book’s release, Hickerson was asked about how he felt reading Panettiere’s account of their relationship.

He admitted, “I got arrested for, you know, abusing her. I don’t really have much to say on that.”

He also acknowledged the seriousness of what happened, saying, “You never lay hands on a woman. Bottom line.”

Hickerson had previously pleaded no contest to two felony counts involving Panettiere in 2021. He was sentenced to 45 days in county jail, four years of probation and domestic violence classes.

So, what did Brian Hickerson ask Hayden to leave out?

There was one particular incident he said he did not want Panettiere to include in the memoir. He said, “There’s a story where I was drunk, right?”

He then added, “Hayden was standing across the room and I had a phone in my hand. And I said to Hayden, ‘I’ll give you 10 seconds to run as fast as you can before I throw it at you.’”

That story did make it into Panettiere’s memoir. Hickerson acknowledged that it was difficult to read about himself in the book. He said, “Who wants to read something about themselves like that, right?”

He added, “But, you know, you got to be vulnerable and uh you know, I did it. I did it.”

Hickerson was also asked about a 2020 incident in Wyoming in which he was arrested following an alleged assault involving Panettiere. He admitted that he had been drinking and became physical with her.

“I had a lot to drink, and I got physical with her. And I got arrested, spent the night in jail. You know that’s just what happens when you lay hands on women,” he said.

Panettiere had previously spoken publicly about the incident, saying it helped push her towards making changes in her life.

The investigation into Panettiere’s death remains ongoing.

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