Which paper had the sexiest A-Levels coverage?
A-Level results day means one thing on Fleet Street: photos of attractive girls jumping in the air. We rated their efforts for 2013.
A-Level results day is upon us again. Along with the cringey status updates from students and clichéd calls from politicians for exams to get harder, it’s also an opportunity for newspapers to indulge in some unapologetic perving.
The phenomenon known as Sexy A-Levels, means newspapers today have no room for images of boys, or any girls who aren’t leaping into the air, pretty smiles as wide as their results envelopes.
Rather, looking at the papers today (OK, we mean their websites) you’d be forgiven for thinking that the UCAS system operates on a special points based system for attractiveness – with every strand of blonde hair or a crop top equating to an additional AS level. Whilst being an identical female twin is the points equivalent of an NVQ diploma.
So, with this in mind, let’s take a look at what the media thinks academic success looks like today.
MailOnline
The Mail reaches new voyeuristic heights with a photograph of a photograph of some girls. Meta.
Number of girls on the page: too many to count
Number of boys: 1
Perviness rating: 10
The Telegraph
Extra marks to the Telegraph for going all out on the jumping here. At first glance it might look more like a publicity for shot for Riverdance (apart from the girl on the right who’s letting the side down with her Michael Jackson homage) but the library backdrop reminds us that we’re all here to admire these girls’ academic abilities.
Number of girls: 3
Number of boys: 0
Perviness rating: 9
The Sun and the Mirror
The Mirror and The Sun both stick to their classic fascination of twins that do A-Levels.
Number of girls: 2
Number of boys: 0
Perviness rating: 7
The Huffington Post
In a tremendous case of emotional voyeurism, the Huffington Post doesn’t hold back but goes straight for a girl crying.
Number of girls: 1
Number of boys: 0
Perviness rating: 10
The Times
Making all the jumping girls look frankly unflexible, the Times opt for a picture of Tom Daley in his swimming trunks to let you know he got an A* in A level Photography.
Number of girls: 0
Number of boys: 1
Perviness Rating: 10
The Guardian
The Guardian goes against the grain with a Lego edition of the jumping girls.
Number of girls: 0
Number of boys: 0
Perviness factor: 0