What is Sheffield’s best club?

Whatever your vibe in Sheffield, there is a club for you. Whether you want 80p drinks at Code or some golden oldie RnB in Paris, the choice is never ending. But all clubs divide opinion. Whilst some people think Pop Tarts is a retro-pop heaven on earth, others undoubtedly think it is hell. Whilst some think that E-box is where it’s at, there are others who think it’s pretty tragic.

Now is the chance to end the debate once and for all. What is the best night out in Sheffield?  

Tank

Tank is at the forefront of Monday night’s clubs of choice, attracting party goers who are more than ready to sack off their Tuesday lectures. With a more house orientated vibe, this is not one for the Pop Tarts princesses, so you can understand why some complain. As with any house night, to some the music doesn’t get better, but to lesser fans of house they find themselves questioning, “why am I not in bed?”.

While it’s got it’s upsides, it cannot be denied that some slick-back-haired, Gaz from Geordie Shore wannabe shuffling into you every thirty seconds can be a turn off. Teamed with the 20 minute long wait at the overpriced bar, there are many who wouldn’t set foot in the door.

Tank has grown to host a very specific demographic, and unless you fit in perfectly, the chances are you won’t enjoy yourself.

Corp

Most Sheffield students love Corp more than their own mothers, because at the end of the day your mum doesn’t sell triple vodkas for less than three quid. And not all other clubs have so many rooms, toilets, or as big a smoking area.

But people love to slag Corp off because of the corp juice seeping through your shoes, the distinct aroma, and the repulsive PDA in every direction. Bizarrely donning a shirt and tie, and walking through the doors of Corp makes people a lot more likely to get off with randomers than in any other club – not a factor which improve’s anyone’s night.

And God forbid you attend on a Saturday and stumble upon heavy metal night, surrounded by locals dressed head to toe in leather. Nightmarish is an understatement.

So at the risk of breaking some hearts it has to be said: Corp is a shithole. But it really is our shithole.

Electric Box

Electric box holds a dear place in any late night partier’s hearts as the one club that will stay open every night until six, and that’s a title not to be scoffed at. But there’s no denying that it’s got its flaws.

Boasting that they host “Sheffield’s Hottest Mid-Week House Event” is a finger up to Tuesday Club, and it’s easy to understand why many laugh at that statement. They don’t get nearly as good DJs, and it’s hardly ever packed.

The music is extremely heavy, catering to the Night Kitchen or Hopeworks crowd, so automatically you can understand why usuals at Leadmill or Code are the first to boycott a trip to EB. And the club itself is an ex-strip club, so the decor is not the most aesthetically pleasing.

The drinks are extremely pricey too, but how else would they make money when most people there just tank through water?

Pop Tarts

It’s the elephant in the room. Despite being the best SU club night in the country there are some who dare to insult the hallowed grounds of Pop Tarts.

Home to basic bitches and the final hurdle of many socials, Pop Tarts sells out within the week before it. So clearly they’re doing something right. The SU really does have a simple brief here. Play fuck loads of Beyoncé, Britney, and Chumbawumba. Simple, yet crowdpleasing.

But the sour pop-hating clubbers of the world always seem to say one in every four or five tunes the DJ tries to get a bit edgy and misses the target. They also jump to complain about drinks prices, like with any SU night,  which leave you either skint or disappointingly sober. So for some, when it comes down to it, a night at Poppy T’s doesn’t live up to the hype.

The edgier residents of Sheffield would rather burn their collection of precious, vintage Adidas jackets before buying a poppy T’s ticket.

Pop World

Let’s look at the facts. What does a nightclub have to have in order to be enjoyable?

A: Good music

B: Good drinks

C: Good people

Pop World has shit music, expensive drinks, and is always empty.

If you’re trying to pull, look around. You will see not only no attractive members of the opposite sex, but no other people whatsoever. At 1am. On a Tuesday. On Carver Street for fucks sake.

You can also be turned away on the door, on a Saturday, for wearing trainers. It isn’t fucking 2007 anymore.

Not only is Pop World a bad nightclub, it is a blight on what could otherwise be described as a decent clubbing street. Just imagine what we could have if we all banded together as a community and just knocked Pop World down. We could have anything we wanted.

As long as another club in town started handing out pizza and toast half way through the night.

West Street Live

“Two Coco Milkos, a bottle of wine and three Schitbombs please mate, here’s a tenner.”

WSL’s charm is in it’s slightly run down, half arsed vibe: with the cheapest drinks in town, wall are layered with A4 sheets of paper listing a disorienting array of fucking weird concoctions, and a different vibe of music each night. You want a drink that tastes like coco pops? Got it. Lightsabre flavoured shots? Have it mate. Want a Brown Ale? Well you’re obviously 40, but they have them as well. Open until 4, WSL attracts the masses despite being so random and bizarre.

But if partying with the middle aged locals isn’t your thing, then you’re probably best steering clear of West Street’s finest.

To some, this ramshackle rock and roll is perfect for letting loose. There’s no judgement there, everyone goes mad. But then again, if getting dolled up and big impressive nights are your thing then it’s understandable if you think this club is crap.

Tuesday Club

For a SU night, TTC is such an impressive night out. The DJs attracted to the night are surprisingly huge, for example we’ve had acts such as Hannah Wants, Bondax, Kaytranada, and even in the past had massive acts like Bonobo and Disclosure. But with such good acts comes high ticket prices.

With sell-out nights each week, people need to question whether it’s really worth posting “looking for one ticket, will pay above odds” on every Facebook group possible. It is our SU after all, nothing you haven’t seen before.

As per, the drinks prices are unreasonably high, especially for how miniature a single vodka and coke is.

Roar

Home to the sport social and in competition with Corp on Wedesdays, Roar is frequently subject to slating. Corp is a spiritual right of passage at UoS, and to some Roar doesn’t really compare.

The formula of the night is extremely run of the mill, playing the usual combination of chart music and classics, so there’s not to much to complain about there, and as mentioned with every SU night, the drinks are pricey. The novelty of Roar is in the attendees. Attitudes to sports teams vary:

If you’re on the team it will be the best night with the squad. If you love muscly guys and toned girls, this is the place to pull. But to most others, the lads of the rugby team, or basic bitches of lacrosse are enough to stop them setting foot in the door. Despite what the actual night is like.

Code

CODE is difficult to pin down. It’s easy to to condemn it simply as a more preppy corp, but really it’s just the same as Plug. With a Hallam heavy ratio, and an abundance of tragic lads shuffling to Diplo, it’s a mysterious place. The question on everyone’s mind is: Are we really enjoying ourselves, or have the 80p drinks worked their magic and tricked us into thinking we’re having a good time? It’s uncertain. It’s unclear whether anyone knows. All that’s certain is that you can buy alcohol for 80 English pence.

It might be literally the only decent thing code has to offer, but how can you possibly deny the power of a dozen drinks for a tenner?

Paris

Paris is interesting. It seems to have a classiness which is shared by few other nightclubs in Sheffield. The venue is very cool, being entirely underground, the drinks are reasonably priced during the week and the music is usually middle of the road but alright really. You can look around and everyone seems well dressed, and quite up-market.

This is of course where the self doubt begins to seep into your mind. Why did we come here? Clearly we don’t fit in. I’m not wearing anything which cost more than a tenner. The bouncers looked at me funny on the way in. Drink, I MUST DRINK TO FEEL NORMAL.

It’s like you’re in a music video, but you don’t want to be and you think everyone is looking at you.

Viper Rooms

If body con dresses and fake tan, or turtlenecks with a blazer over the top are your thing then you will be right at home in Viper Rooms. Home to the WAGs and lads of Sheffield Viper is like marmite, you either love it or hate it.

The club itself is the most upmarket in town, and the décor shows it. Forget Corp juice or sheets of paper stuck around the bar showing drinks. This is one classy establishment.

Typically branded as the priciest night in the Steel City many are quick to turn their noses up, but don’t forget that cocktails are only £2 on a Monday. You just need to know the tricks of the trade for a successful night at VP.

Leadmill

Leadmill is a crowdpleasing middle ground in Sheffield’s clubbing scene. With two rooms to choose from, one playing RnB and grime, and the other rock and indie,  even the most divided groups can settle for Leadmill. Plus, being so small it’s hardly an issue if the squad divides between the two rooms.

Almost every night of the week is a guaranteed night, apart from the lull on Thursdays. However, when they’re handing out props, such as inflatable guitars and Lionel Richie masks, the number of people in the club is hardly relevant.

And let’s not forget the legendary photo-booth. Let’s not even try to work out how many pounds we’ve all thrown at it just to capture four hideous photos.

On the downside, the smoking area is diabolical, it’s tiny and roadside. So is bleak and crap. Plus, the club is annoyingly placed, down by the station, so is unfortunately not in comfortable walking distance. However, with a McDonald’s two minutes from da club, it doesn’t matter much. A healthy compromise.

Plug

As one of the city’s largest clubs, Plug attracts all of the individual nights out which travel to the city, for example Black Butter, Regression Sessions or Cirque du Soul. It’s so refreshing to go to a rogue night once in a while.

With such a large club the smoking area is generous, being car park sized and with benches everywhere. See, other clubs, it’s not hard to be hospitable.

Plus for all the basic bitches out there, the face painting is always a highlight of the night.

But on the other hand it is extremely Hallam dominated, and the playlist is very repetetive. Regardless of the night of the week you’re out the DJs just play the same generic chart music.

Night Kitchen

Night Kitchen is automatically disregarded by many purely based on reputation. Let’s just say the only drinks really sold here are bottles of water and red stripe. So the club attracts a very specific clientele.But for those who have ventured to NK you’ll know what a sick venue it is. The club is a labyrinth of rooms all placed around a one way system. The club is so immersive, it’s no surprise you can happily spend seven hours dancing the night away.

It cannot be denied that TNK gets incredible acts to play, with a huge range too. From house, to drum and bass, to reggae nights, those who are into their music are more than happy.

The toilets are rank, unsurprisingly, but the smoking more than makes up for it with benches and canopies everywhere, being extremely hospitable. Plus there’s the added bonus of wacky sculptures and artwork dotted around the place.

And let’s not forget that the sofas in a couple of the rooms are one of the best thing to happen to mankind.

Hope Works

Hopeworks, like Night Kitchen, is known by reputation and scoffed at by most. As a big warehouse hosting DJs it’s no wonder that the stereotypical roadmen flock in there masses, wavy garm on and red stripe in hand. Meanwhile girls douse themselves in glitter and whack on some rogue vintage sportswear or miniature crop tops, Topshop jeans and new balance.

You know what you’re getting into with Hopework’s run down vibe, complete with portaloos, but it’s a sick night and also indulges party goers with glorious sofas. If you haven’t been you won’t understand the pure ecstasy of sinking into one halfway through your night.

But it is way out of the city centre and tickets cost an absolute bomb, so it’s understandable if this isn’t your cup of tea.