What should be your UW-Madison resolutions?

It’s the new year, and everyone is making resolutions they may or may not keep.  However, we believe it’s possible for UW students to follow through on these ten resolutions for a better academic year:

Drink less

…or nah. I mean come on, while this would be good for everyone’s health, would we really be the number one party school if we stuck this resolution out? Mama always said, quitters never win and winners never quit.

Avoid Bascom Hill at all costs

In the winter months, it’s slippery. In the summer months, you start sweating halfway up the hill. So why should we continue to put ourselves through this? Is there a solution? Yes there is! The 80, which will literally drive you up Bascom Hill, was obviously made so everyone could skip the walking and suffering that is Bascom.

Cheer on our boys to the sweet sixteen (again!)

Badger basketball has been in the sweet sixteen for the last three seasons. What kind of school would we be if we didn’t make it four? Get to a game, wear red, and cheer your little Badger heart out.

Return the dishes you’ve stolen from Gordon’s

Look, it’s OK. We’ve all done it. Maybe you’ve stolen a spoon, or maybe your entire kitchen is a stockpile of plastic bowls and white ceramic plates.  In any case, you could return one just to say you’ve followed through on a resolution.

Do your laundry on a regular basis

Come on guys, let’s make our moms proud! Maybe you could even wash your sheets that haven’t seen detergent in two months.

Get off Tinder and meet someone in real life

I know, the task seems daunting. Talking to someone in the flesh rather than recycling half-assed sexual innuendos through your iPhone can be really tricky. But hey, what’s life without a challenge? Try out Chasers, The Double U, or Brats for your next hook-up.

Change your class-skipping habits

Skipping class is almost inevitable. You could be sick, tired, lazy, sleeping, or any other excuse you can think of. So let’s all make an effort to change our habits. If you’re an every day class skipper, try and cut it down to a three day class skipper. If you never skip class, then a) what the hell is wrong with you, and b) skip once or twice.  It’s good for you.

Get out to Picnic Point

Here’s something every UW student should do before they graduate. Why not make the trek this year? Walk, run, bike, or canoe over to Picnic Point.  You’ll enjoy a great view of campus and FINALLY be able to geo-tag Picnic Point on Instagram.

Join a student org

There are nearly 900 student organizations on campus. If you’re a nursing major, there’s the Aspiring Nurses Association. If you’re a person who loves to help out, there’s Badger Volunteers. And if you don’t know what the hell you want to do, join the Squirrel Watching Club.

Remember: no school is better than this one

Here’s a resolution we don’t have to lie to ourselves about keeping.