How advanced technology has affected romance

Living in the digital generation, it is easy to see technology has transformed our lives, particularly our means of communication. Gone are the days of carrier pigeons, letters that took what seemed like forever to arrive in the mail, and expensive phone calls across continents. Technology, especially the Internet, is so pervasive in our lives. Yet, we often forget its presence and how it is changing the love landscape.

Letter Writing

In 1775, the United States postal system allowed people to send letters to each other across the country. Mail was transported primarily by train, and deliveries often took weeks or even months to arrive.

Letter writing still remains a great symbol of “true” romance. Some people consider it too cheesy and emotional, but most appreciate a handwritten letter from their significant other. It does not merely show affection, but also commitment because of the time and thought invested into writing a perfect letter. This is in contrast to the casual text messages we send nowadays, which take less than 30 seconds to type up. Letters provide a romantic form of displaying love that will make even the coldest-hearted people swoon.

Telephone & Cellphone

Today, we take the telephone for granted. No one actually uses their landline anymore. We can only remember the nervousness that consumed us every time we dialed our friend’s home number and wished for them to pick up the phone instead of their parents.  Those are the good times of the early 2000s.

Then the cellphone came. These cellphones were not like the current smartphone. They were very basic, Nokia, Sony Ericsson, Motorola, Sidekick – you know what I’m talking about. This is when texting began to rise in popularity. For the first time, couples had a means of instant and private communication. Messages became shorter, people started to create texting languages, and the basic rules of grammar and spelling went out the window.

The Internet

Yahoo, Myspace, and MSN. Need I say more? As the second online form of communication after email, these social platforms revolutionized the entire Gen-Y. With the likes of Myspace and Yahoo 360°, we started to decide if we liked someone based on their profile pictures. We could have an idea of who someone is just by browsing through the content they put online. It was the beginning of the “immediate” relationship process. People started skipping the conventional first steps of approaching and getting to know someone face-to-face by simply chatting with them online. Getting into a relationship was gradually becoming, dare we say, easier.

Smartphone, Video Call & Social Media

Moving to the present, we live in a society with all the benefits social media and smartphones have brought us. We can talk to and see long distance friends and lovers across the globe through a screen. This was considered a far-fetched daydream just a few decades ago. Here we are, blessed with the ever-evolving technology that helps us to connect with everyone on the planet, despite physical distances.

However, there are some downsides to this new technology. We’ve become addicted to texting, and we spend more time online than having real-life interactions. Social media has made its way into personal relationships, causing us to feel like we need to publicize our relationships online. Online dating websites and apps have become the norm, ranging from Match.com to Tinder. For many of us, technology is redefining what romance looks like. What is romance anymore when it has come down to a single text: “Netflix & chill?”

More and more of us want to play the text game and play it cool. Many of us want to be the one with the upper hand. Ease and power are prioritized, not emotions. More of us want to establish an “open relationship”, because we fear true commitment and prefer absolute freedom, while we still want someone to be beside us.

Breaking up has never been easier, it can be done through a single text. Instead of fixing the light bulb when it’s broken, we replace it with a new one.

Regardless of how the current dating scene is, I believe we all need to appreciate every piece of advanced technology we’re given. Instead of blaming technology for our romantic short comings, we must take the initiative and discover how we can integrate romance into technology. I’m not anti-technology. I’m simply against relationships consumed by technology. Technology is here to help us in every aspect of life, not to wreck it.