Everyone you’ll see on a college tour

While we hate that there are always tons of people wandering aimlessly around campus, we still admire that the tour guide will spend hours of their week shepherding around prospective students and their families.

And we all know that without the tour guide, many of us may not have ever joined the Tribe.

However, there are still always those people you see in a college tour that no tour would be complete without.

Miss Know-it-all

She is probably top of her class, all-American in soccer, and is the captain of her debate team. This kid made sure to all of her research, and basically knows everything about the school already. She’ll try to answer every question before the tour guide has a chance to get a word in, and, hell, she probably knows the layout of the campus even better than you do. Next time you need to find Hunt Hall, ask her.

The parent who asks all of the questions

This guy could have benefitted from asking the know-it-all to share their notes. He and his wife are quick to run and find the perfect guide for the next hour or so, and once they’ve chosen their perfect match, they push their kid straight to the front of the group. While their kid doesn’t have much to say and wishes their parents would just stay quiet, Mr. Tour Guide’s Bestie asks questions like “How’s the food in Sadler?” Is it ever good Mrs. Bestie?

The Debbie Downer

I’m not going to lie, I was this kid when I did all of my college tours. This kid is often accompanied by the constantly questioning parent, and their mood can only be described as bleak. Maybe they’ve visited too many colleges; maybe they were woken up from a glorious slumber by their too eager parents. Or maybe they flat out don’t want to be visiting this college. But trust me, we’ve all been there (even you Ms. Know-It-All, even you).

Mr. “Back in My Day”

He shows up wearing his vintage college apparel, and will start every sentence with, “Back in my day…”, just so he knows you know he went here. You will be regaled with stories from the good ol’ days on this campus. When a parent asks if underaged students drink, this man is ready to bellow “Do they? Ha ha ha. Can you even call that stuff they’re drinking now ‘alcohol’? Well, back in my day, it was all scotch and whiskey. Am I right?” You may be right, sir, but we still want people to come here! Please don’t feel a need to tell me the story about when you got chased by police while you were streaking on the Sunken Gardens!

The family that can’t tell time

This family must have set all of their clocks wrong for daylight savings time, because they are late. After showing up to the admissions building, they run to catch up with some group, any group that will take them. They spend the rest of the tour panting, unable to catch their breath enough to ask any questions or make comments. For their lovely silence, they may well be your favorite people in this tour group.

The tour guide

My friend Natalie is who I want to be

The model student

Shows up in a freshly pressed trousers and a nice shirt, probably a double major and is heavily involved in campus activities. Most students on this campus will never be this person, including many of the kids on the tour, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.