Sorority recruitment or the Hunger Games?

What exactly constitutes being a “sorority girl”?

For a lot of basic first-year college students coming to the South from more northern areas, it’s a style, complete with monogrammed everything, oversized tote bags and iced coffee. I, myself, was one of these girls. Going into formal recruitment, I always thought, “I’m the perfect candidate for any sorority, right??”

Wrong.

“My life will be over if I’m not in a sorority, right?”

Wrong again.

Unless you have an older sister who has given you the inside scoop, most girls enter the rush process with a naive attitude, to say the least. What I quickly came to realize was that I had no connections with older girls, and no idea which chapter I wanted to be a part of.

However, it doesn’t necessarily matter where you want to end up, because that will all be decided for you. And to be honest, the process doesn’t go as well for many girls as they expected it to. There isn’t a surplus of true smiles or laughs from the potential new members. Forced smiles that run from ear to ear and make your cheeks hurt, yes, but real smiles, no.

Rush in the South is much like the Hunger Games. On the outside, girls appear perfectly poised, put together, and confident. On the inside, however, they’re thinking, “crap, she looks better than me” or “she has poppy seeds in her teeth…I probably shouldn’t tell her”. You might even lie to your friends about your top choice to increase chances of getting in. And in the end, you could look amazing, be a legacy, and have amazing conversation with the sisters in a chapter, but still not get in.

It’s happened to me and it’s happened to more of my friends than I can count. And believe me, it’s a tough feeling to shake off. You can’t help but feel ugly, dumb, and not good enough.

You’ll call your mom every day twice a day, crying hysterically, only to have her tell you that none of it matters and you are so beautiful, smart and talented. Guess what? You are.

Not kidding, all day everyday

Every girl going through recruitment has unique qualities that make her the way she is. Unfortunately, chapters aren’t able to see this during the frantic 10-minute conversations centered around basic small talk and reality TV.

The best advice I can try to give it to not take it personally. Chances are, there were a bunch of sorority sisters in your house of choice who fought hard for you, but maybe it just wasn’t enough. Or maybe there was a secret GPA cut-off you just missed. Whatever the reason, if you get released by your top choices, give the other houses a chance. Regardless, bid day will be filled with excitement and screaming upper classmen spoiling you with silly activities from laser tag to free Chipotle to cookie decorating. Enjoy the day, decide later.

Bid Day festivities

Wasn’t kidding about the laser tag either

So are you truly a sorority girl? Right now you may have absolutely no idea – I know I don’t. Just because you accept a bid doesn’t mean you’ve committed to it for your entire life. It’s overwhelmingly stressful to try and figure out if you fit in with hundreds of girls who are now all of a sudden your sisters. But the most important thing to know is if you decide it’s not for you, it’s not the end of the world.

You will still have the friends you made prior to and during recruitment. You will still be able to have fun and meet people. You’ll still be the same person you’ve always been, and maybe even a better one for finally doing the right thing for you. Despite everything you’ve been told going into recruitment, joining a sorority is not everything and it does not in any way define who you are.