I used to be addicted to makeup

Anyone who knows me understands that I a complete makeup FREAK. I know the brands, their products, and what sucks and what doesn’t. For a couple of years now, makeup has become a hobby. It was an art form for me, and I spent my time every morning experimenting with whatever was in my bag.

Slowly, however, it developed into an obsession. Whenever I was stressed, I would drive to Ulta or Sephora because it temporarily made me happy – it was my candy. I was also becoming more prone to BUYING makeup products, which left deep holes in my pockets. Eventually, it was routine. And all I could think or talk about, besides my school work or the future, was makeup.

That was until a friend pointed out to me that while what I do is artistic, it genuinely has no added value to my inherent features. The key here was agency: my friend did not tell me to stop wearing makeup necessarily, or that they hated what I did with my face. It was just that maybe I needed to realize that even whatever art I did on my face was at times redundant since my face, like anyone else’s, is already a work of art.

I eventually started to wear much less. It took less time in the mornings, and I no longer felt the need to constantly buy the best matte lipstick or the hottest eyeshadow palette out there. In fact, I have this tendency to never leave the house without at least lipstick on, and slowly that need is subsiding as well.

I understand that to some, this obsession seems trivial, and almost strange, but we all have our thing. I love painting, and so my face was a canvas. It relaxed me, and I had the patience to use my brushes and my pencils along the contours of my face, and the courage to either go bold or go home. But it was also becoming unhealthy to assume that I had enough time, money, or energy to constantly be thinking about something that did not even mean much at the end of the day.

As I’ve had conversations with multiple people and close friends on this issue, it almost seems bizarre that I had this unhealthy obsession to begin with. I could be a much simpler person, and still as happy as ever. Many women I know barely wear makeup except for special occasions, whereas I was the one who went to class as if I were going to a wedding. My winged eyeliner was so thick, long, and pointy that my dad would literally call the wings “knives”.

Society has come to the conclusion that makeup is necessary for a woman to feel comfortable in her own skin. And without that lipstick, she cannot be confident. Or when we say that a woman is so pretty that “she does not need makeup”, we are automatically making the assumption that a woman who is deemed as less attractive by society should use makeup to hide her sub-par features. And that’s sending the wrong message. I’m not completely switching to say that women should not wear makeup. All we can advocate is that moderation is key, and that no one truly needs makeup.

Don’t get me wrong. I still enjoy makeup. I still occasionally watch Youtube tutorials when I’m down and stressed. But I’m no longer dependent on it the way I used to be. I can be on fleek with or without that glitter. And while many women already are simple when it comes to their faces, it took a long while for me to realize that simplicity was not a bad thing.