UVA’s most embarrassing hookup stories
Did you know there were vampires in CVille?
The names in this article have been changed to save everyone the embarrassment
It’s happened to all of us – for the most part. You’re midway through your hookup, just starting to get to know each other’s tonsils, when suddenly things take a turn for the worse.
Whether you’ve been bitten, walked in on, or graced with some unfortunately placed hickeys, at least it makes a good story, right?
We asked some UVA students to share their most embarrassing hookup stories. Hopefully, reading these will make you realize that it could, in fact, be worse.
Stay safe, kids
Apparently there are a lot more vampires in C-Ville than we thought…you just have to go to Trin to find them. Leigh, a First Year, was personally victimized last semester by one of these mysterious night crawlers.
#yikes
“I didn’t realize what was happening until I stepped out into the light and all my friends screamed,” Leigh says. “Let’s just say no amount of cover-up could fix that one.”
One of Heather’s fondest First Year memories was making out with some guy outside a frat house, only to realize that all her friends thought she had gone missing.
“When I went back inside to look for them, they were searching everywhere in the house for me…they even got a bunch of the frat brothers involved – they were that concerned.”
Oh hey…didn’t see ya there
You know you’ve got good friends when they set up a search party for you – even if that means the prospect of being interrupted by such a large group of frat boys who have probably seen enough DFMOs to last the rest of the year
If you think you’ve been embarrassed in front of your hookup, chances are you haven’t burped inside their mouth like our friend, Kyle.
“Everything was going well until I felt this tiny rumble in my stomach. I didn’t think anything of it because I wasn’t nauseas or anything, but all of a sudden I let out this HUGE burp, like, directly down this girl’s throat.
“And it wasn’t quiet either. She politely made up some excuse about having to leave, but I knew the truth. It was so horrible – I’ve been avoiding carbonated beverages at all costs ever since.”
Note to self: avoid things that fizz!
Peace, love, DFMOs, am I right?
Paige advises against trying to find creative places to hookup… such as the locker room. She was in there with her high school boyfriend one night, assuming no one would find them.
“But all the sudden we heard someone opening the door… it was a teacher on coverage and his dog. He made a run for the bathroom stall so we went and hid in the shower. But unfortunately we were still close enough to hear him on the toilet…pooping uncontrollably.”
Just when they thought things couldn’t get any weirder, the guy called his dog into the bathroom stall with him.
“We ran away as fast as we could,” Paige says, laughing.
That one is definitely more embarrassing for the teacher than it was for them.