All the things that can go wrong when traveling during a snowstorm
And how to make it into a drinking game
You’re flying out on Thursday, you’ll be fine, they said. You’ll miss the snowstorm, they said. Don’t worry about it, your bus can’t possibly be cancelled, they said.
They were wrong.
On Thursday afternoon I flew out of New York to Durham, North Carolina to eventually end up in Charlottesville. Despite the fact that the snowstorm of the year was headed to the East Coast, I flew out before the snow actually started, and so it was smooth sailing.
LOOK AT ALL THE SUN
That was the last time things went smoothly. From now on, every time something goes wrong in my travel plans, please take a shot. It will make this entire story a lot more bearable.
Your bus is cancelled
Makes sense, my bus was later in the evening. I will book an earlier bus.
Please note the sun and lack of snow
Shot count: 1
Your earlier bus is cancelled
OK, I am very frustrated, but not the end of the world. It’s only three hours from Durham to Charlottesville. I’ll call on a friend to come pick me up.
Shot count: 2
Your friend arrives late so you have to leave after it’s already started snowing
So the original plan was to leave before the snow actually started falling from the sky, but hey, it’s only the beginning, we’ll be fine.
Shot count: 3
The car breaks down after two hours of driving
Womp. Luckily, there is a police officer a few minutes behind you who drives up to ask you if you’re “Broken down, or what?”
After confirming that you have broken down, he gets behind the car and pushes it with his own car into a parking lot.
He calls a tow truck.
Shot count: 4
The tow truck shows up but the driver informs you they won’t fix the car for a week at least
Awesome.
They did drop us off at a motel, however, so at least we have a place to sleep.
Luxurious
Shot count: 5
You are in Gretna, VA
Where is Gretna, you ask? I have no idea. I stayed there for over 48 hours and I still have no. idea.
Gretna, VA
Shot count: 6
You have no food
So you take a stroll over to a Food Lion in the middle of a blizzard and buy some turkey and bread.
Remember those neighbors you made fun of for running out to get bread and milk and eggs? I have more respect for them now.
Dinner
We used tupperware tops as plates
Shot count: 7
You have wine but no bottle opener
It’s OK, I always wanted to try that whole “opening a bottle of wine with a shoe” thing anyway.
Fancy glassware, too
Shot count: 8 (plus wine)
You find a cab to give you a ride but it also breaks down
After sleeping in Gretna for an evening, you finally find a cab that agrees to take you to Charlottesville for an exorbitant amount of money.
However he then calls you two hours later saying he drove into a ditch.
Shot count: 9
You are stuck in Gretna for another evening
There’s really nothing else to say about this.
I watched The Fast & The Furious on a TV the size of my head. I would suggest to not do this.
Shot count: 10
You find another cab to drive you but it costs you $300
FINE I WILL LITERALLY PAY YOU WHATEVER TO GET ME OUT OF GRETNA
Shot count: 11
The hotel you are staying in cancelled your reservation
Alright, even though I did not cancel my own reservation, and I am now going to need a place to stay in Charlottesville for an evening, the hotel has decided to cancel it themselves.
And they are fully booked.
And they can’t give me a refund because I booked through Hotels.com.
This was my view so I can’t complain too much
Shot count: 13 (take two here for stress relieving purposes)
Your flight back to New York is moved from Monday to Tuesday
Pro: Another day in Charlottesville
Con: Another $100 in hotel fees
The types of photos that happen when you try to drink away the memory of Gretna
I feel like this snowman at this point
Shot count: 14 (plus approximately eight Bold Rocks, one Wahoo from Boylan and a pickleback)
They rebooked you incorrectly so you sit at the airport for four hours
You then proceed to consume as many Bold Rocks as possible while sitting next to a sea of other people whose flights have been fucked with.
What else to do but take pics from the airport
Shot count: 15
You have a 20 minute layover in Charlotte and have a heart attack trying to run to your connecting flight
May or may not have pushed over a couple old ladies and stomped over small children, but God damn it I GOT ON THAT FLIGHT
Shot count: 16
If you’re still alive at the end of this, congratulations. You can survive anything.