Thoughts every UVA student has about going home for break

Depending on where you’re from, going home for break can either be as easy as having your parents pick you up from your place or a literal hell on earth.

If you’re from out of state (and no, “D.C.” doesn’t count), going home is probably closer to the latter.

Either way, most everyone has the same terrible mix of anxiety and excitement surrounding going home, as well as the lingering sadness of leaving dear, old UVA behind for five days.

1. No, Mom, I cannot leave on Sunday because I have class on Monday and Tuesday.
2. Aaaaand I see you booked me for a flight on Monday morning.
3. Alright, I’ll skip two days of class, it’s not like my professor can fail me or something. *Checks syllabus* Huh. My professor can fail me if I miss a class.
4. That’s probably just a scare tactic. I’m sure skipping is just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
5. *3 days before the flight* I should probably pack.
6. *2 days before the flight* El oh El.
7. *1 day before the flight* I should really probably pack. What if I just wake up early instead? Yeah, I’ll do that.
8. *Day of the flight* Ugh, I do not want to go home. Everyone is going to ask me if I have a boyfriend, or how my grades are, or what I plan on doing with a degree in poetry. Maybe I can pretend to miss my flight.
9. I can tell my mom that my Uber driver got in a wreck.
10. Who am I kidding, she is a lawyer, she would definitely ask for pictures, and his information to, like, sue him or something.
11. *5 hours before the flight* Okay, now I’ll pack.
12. Is it bad I didn’t do laundry before packing?
13. Hopefully my mom will just wash everything.
14. Ugh, what a bae, I am #blessed to have her.
15. I’ll just watch House until I need to call an Uber.
16. Why is my Passbook saying my flight is at 2:20, my flight isn’t until 3:35.
17. Alright, technology – 1, Claire – 0.
18. Just gonna go ahead and call an Uber now…
19. Holy shit. I am going to miss my flight, and my mom is going to question my ability to adult, and she’s not gonna be wrong, and it’s going to be terrible, and she’s never gonna wash my clothes now.
20. *Gets to airport* Oh, I have like 45 minutes until boarding.
21. Why does airport wifi suck so much?
22. Like, honestly, I’m just trying to watch some Netflix before my flight. Is that so hard?
23. Oh, wow, we’re boarding on time. That’s a first for Charlottesville.
24. Damn, Cville airport, I always complain about you, but, like, we’re about to take off on time.
25. Wait, what’s the captain saying?
26. Wait, why do you need to manually pressurize the engine?
27. What does that mean?
28. IS THE PLANE MISSING PHALANGES??
29. Alright, 10-minute delay, that’s not too bad.
30. 20 minutes, what the fuck American.
31. And 50 minutes later, we’re taking off. Whatever, I’m sure I’ll make my connection. What time did my mom make that for anyway?
32. 4:10. Why the hell can’t I remember my flight times?

    #Classism

33. Alright, the minute we land, I am going to sprint to my gate.
34. WHY DOES EVERYONE WALK SO SLOWLY.
35. Why does it feel like I have asthma after running for three minutes?
36. Wow, I think I might make it.
37. Did not make it.
38. How do you smile so much in the face of so much human suffering, American Airlines Gate Lady?
39. Two hours to kill, what to do, what to do…
40. Netflix.
41. Lol jk @airportwifi
42. There’s a Bojangles. Interesting.
43. Let’s be real, even if I showered in the Airport bathroom a la Tom Hanks in that one movie, my mother will still smell fried chicken on my body and make some comment about “choices” and “being healthier.” #Notworthit
44. I’ll just eat this protein bar that’s been in my pocket for hoo knows how long and has been through an X-ray machine.
45. Nature Valley’s ad campaign should copy Skittles and just be like “Taste the Loneliness.”
46. I wonder if my family will be like the quintessential stressful family at Thanksgiving and argue about like Syrian refugees and police brutality and racism in America and, like, Donald Trump.
47. *Sees cousin’s post about “needing to make America great again”* Well that answers that question.
48. Time to board, Take 2.
49. First Class is everything that’s wrong with America today.
50. Well, that and the Kardashians.
51. Should I buy the in-flight wifi?
52. WHY WON’T ANY WIFI LET ME WATCH NETFLIX.
53. Whatever, I’ll read.
54. Why does going home always make me so stressed?
55. Is it too late to turn the plane around?
56. Breathe.
57. Does telling myself to breathe make the breathing more relaxing?
58. I wonder if my mom will bring the dogs to the airport.
59. Oh my god, I hope so.
60. Oh, we’re landing. That was fast.
61. I bet they lost my luggage.
62. C’mon yellow Northface.
63. C’mon.
64. C’mon.
65. They for sure lost my bag.
66. Well, that’s it. My trip is ruined.
67. Classic American Airlines, losing my luggage when I need it the most.
68. Oh, there’s my bag.
69. My bad.
70. Why is it so cold in Texas right now?
71. What happened to Global Warming?
72. Ugh, I am a terrible human – Global Warming is affecting lives all over the world.
73. Yeah, but would like 70 degrees in Texas really make that much of a difference?
74. Oh, there’s my Mom!
75. SHE BROUGHT THE DOGS.
76. LIFE IS SO GOOD.
77. Why was I even worried about coming home in the first place?