What your favorite corner drunk food says about you
Which spot means you’re a klepto?
Just in case your life was in need of some more judgment, even your drunk food choices say something about you.
Read on to find out what exactly that small, seemingly-innocent box of dumplings tells me about your personality.
Christian’s Pizza
You care about being seen.
Since everyone and their mother is waiting in the Christian’s line by 2 AM, it’s basically like another bar stop on your big night out.
You’re so busy talking to your friends you don’t even notice the two kind men who work there yelling at you to order. You have either mastered the art of avoiding paying for your hook-up’s pizza, or you fall prey to it every time.
Marco & Luca Dumplings
You’re sneaky.
Ordering dumplings requires a skillful maneuvering of the line (read: cutting), and then stealing someone else’s order and insisting it’s yours.
You also do not shut the fuck up about dumplings and are probably part of the mysterious cult/secret dumpling society at UVA.
Alternatively, you’re not yet done with your night yet, and you need discreet drunk food to sneak into bars (I have done this twice. 10/10 would recommend.)
Pigeon Hole
You’re a hipster, or at least you think you are.
Traditional drunk food is far too basic for you. So here you are at the newest late-night addition to the Corner.
Half of UVA doesn’t even know Pigeon Hole does late night (or they think it was a magical one-time thing put on by UPC), but you’re in the loop.
You sit out on the patio with breakfast potatoes, talking about the myriad benefits of PBR and judging everyone drunker than you who walks by.
Because you’re jealous.
College Inn
You’re always the last one to leave bars/late nights.
You are most likely calling at 3 AM after College Inn has already closed and leaving voicemails like “EMERGENCY!!!! I ordered cheeeessy breadth like thirty minutes ago and I just don’t UNDERSTAND why you’re not here!!!”
You also go to Trinity until close on Tuesdays, only frequent Clem to socialize, and probably cause all the chemical spills I always get emailed about.
Two Guys Tacos
You don’t give a fuck what other people think.
In the midst of 2 AM darkness, you stumble around until you find the light – that is, the spotlight on two sombrero-clad Mexican men high-fiving over a taco. You keep trying to tell your friends about the magic that is Two Guys nachos, but they won’t listen.
You don’t really care though, because the less people go, the shorter the line there is for you. And there is always enough for leftovers in the morning – so you’re smart, too. And definitely blackout.
White Spot
You’re probably over 35 because that’s when White Spot used to be a thing, or you’re part of the Gusburger fan club.
Littlejohn’s
You’re a klepto.
You used to just steal earrings at Claire’s before college, but now you’re on to bigger and better things.
You enter to “buy a sandwich” and somehow leave with three muffins, a cookie, and a shit ton of bananas tucked away in your purse. Justifying your habit as a consolation prize for waiting in the super long line can only work for so long.
Qdoba
Yeah, you’re too drunk. Go home.