Everything on the corner that will give you cancer according to WHO
How carcinogenic are UVA’s eating spots?
As of last week, The World Health Organization released a study linking the consumption of cured meats such as bacon, ham, and sausages to certain cancers in humans.
This aligns these frequently consumed meat products with asbestos and cigarettes.
Unfortunately for us ‘Hoos, it looks like there’s A LOT of food we should be cutting out of our ventures to the corner.
Luckily, the Tab is here for you. We dropped into to several familiar names on the corner to see just how much of a toxic pit of carcinogenic substances the Corner really is.
Trinity Irish Pub
How terrible could Trinity’s menu be?
I mean I’ve never even seen the menu, unless you count looking at the tap list. This shouldn’t be too bad, right?
The Virginian
This restaurant actually survived the depression, so this place should know something about staying alive. Let’s take a look at the starters.
This isn’t so bad – only one thing here is bad. Let’s see what the next page look like….OH MY GOD.
No. There’s cancer everywhere. How can the Virginian do this to me, I trusted you.
You entranced me with your Mac and Cheese but I see now, I see the true Virginian.
Mellow Mushroom
Pizza isn’t that bad right? I mean the government classified it as a vegetable for public school lunch programs not too long ago. I’ll try here.
Nevermind. I was wrong. I might as well just have a carton of Marlboro Reds for dinner.
It was right around now that I realized hope for the Corner was dwindling. I trudged back down the bricked sidewalk in search of a restaurant that wouldn’t send me to an early grave.
Boylan Heights
OK so I know there are burgers but there’s so much more on the menu that should be good right? WRONG.
There’s bacon in the salad – even salads aren’t safe now?! I can’t believe this.
Littlejohn’s
So you wanted that Wild Turkey Sandwich, awesome! While you’re at it, why don’t you book your spring break at Chernobyl’s finest resort.
However, if this venture seems too costly, I can suggest sitting on top of your microwave the next time you use it.
I mean hey, you’re eating bacon, might as well.