The changing weather of friendship

My high school friend Alesha and I have been friends for almost eight years and are still going strong.

On the surface, Alesha and I do not have all that much in common. I am Texas born and love some good ol’ country music while Alesha would prefer for me to change the station. Alesha has sick long boarding skills yet I can barely stand on my own two feet without tripping. Alesha is a very outgoing person but I tend to be more of an introvert.

There are many more difference between us but we are linked by our love of basketball. Our friendship has not been easy, but the beautiful times in our friendship outweigh the hard ones and the future looks pretty amazing with her in my back pocket.

Me, left, with Alesha

The transition between high school and college brings about a lot of change, one of the most noticeable and universally felt is that of friendship. Along with maturity and finding your footing comes a very different relationship with those around you.

Throughout high school I loved the amount of friends I had. Alesha is just one of the many. I had a handful of best friends who got me through rough family times, sickness, stress, failed state basketball dreams, and so much more.

These individuals were the ones that carried me to graduation and I would like to believe that I helped carry them in some capacity as well.

However, I have a feeling that not all the friends I began college with will be the ones I walk the lawn with.

In college the concept of friendship changes. Throughout college, you grow in maturity and end up finding solace in knowing that letting go of certain people is not a bad thing. Friendships, just like life, are constantly changing and some friendships are not meant to last forever because eventually they become stagnant.

True friendships do not rely on interests, paths, hobbies, or opinions. Just like mine and Alesha’s friendship, which seemed to always work and I never thought twice about it.

As I look back at the amazing individuals that I shared an upwards of five years with, I begin to think: would I have been friends with them if we had met in college? Would we have even met?

If I were to ask this about my lovely Alesha, I would regret to say no. Our interests simply don’t intertwine, and while our friendship was forged at a small high school with limited options, it would not have been so at UVA.

As individuals, we find our true friends in the ones who will try their absolute hardest to keep a promise. Two of my closest friends at UVA promised to support me at a competition at home. When the plans fell through, one was devastated, and the other spent hours on the phone trying to work out logistics.

Despite the plans changing, I couldn’t be upset. Instead my heart was warmed in knowing that they tried their absolute hardest to keep a single promise and I cannot wait until the day I am able to repay them. These small actions show me that I have found friends for life because it did not matter to them why or what I was doing, it mattered that it was important to me.

In college, with thousands of potential friends, you find out who you want to be and who you want to surround yourself with. You begin to see that friendships should be a two way street. Both parties can be wrong just as both parties are there to support the other.

I already feel that I took my high school friendships for granted. They were easy because interests, abilities, opinions didn’t matter. Even though I have lost many of them – blame it on distance, time, interest, growth – the friendships will always be a part of my life.

So thank you to all my past friends and the friends that I feel slipping away. Of course, it hurts and it is sad but much like the circle of life, I am grateful to be a part of the transition and your future friends are some very lucky individuals.

Also, thank you college for being more than just a place to find myself but also a place to find those people that who walk to the ends of the earth for me and people that I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for.