Things you’ll only understand if you commute to USC
Dealing with two to three freeways on the daily is no laughing matter, folks
When I tell people I commute, it’s usually met with a smile and an inquiring “Oh, from where?”
Once I say, “From Orange County!” in a smile mirroring them..well, the expression on their faces go from lively to slightly horrified. “Every day? WHOA.”
Meanwhile, I keep the same smile on my face and say something in the same vein as, “Yeah! Hehe. I’m dead inside!” That’s usually meant to diffuse the weird bit of tension I feel from sharing the fact. Usually it only makes matters worse.
Gennyvera Pacheco. Internally screaming at the person in front of me to use their goddamn blinker, 2016. Oil on canvas
Here’s the thing: commuting from the O.C. (I just cringed because I hate referring to it as that but I need to add some variety to this, you know?) isn’t all that bad. If anything, I have learned a few things about myself and the world on that great expanse known as the 405. Today, I will share a few with you. Leggo.
Ten minutes can make or break you
There are mornings where I am about to walk out the door, then I stop myself because I realize that a winged liner would totally tie my look together. Twenty minutes later (I’m learning!), I get out of the house and assume that traffic is going to be excellent.
WRONG. OH SO WRONG.
Ten minutes can be the difference between the left side and the right side of the freeway in that one scene from The Walking Dead. You know, the horse? Rick? Lots of cars? The reference totally flopped, didn’t it?
Okay so maybe it’s not that drastic of a difference. But seriously, when it’s 85 degrees out, it sure as hell feels that way.
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will get to it at a steady pace of 9 miles per hour
Don’t second-guess yourself
You gonna make that lane change, buddy? You sure? I mean…think about it. Whoops! Nope, sorry. Too late! That Mazda is right in your blind spot and they. Are. Not. Going. ANYWHERE.
Fun fact: Eminem actually wrote “Lose Yourself” about a lane change he didn’t make. He had to wait ten long and ardurous minutes until the car behind him finally left. He saw the license plate: Montana. “Curse you, Montana! Curse you to heck!” he yelled angrily as he shook his fists at the Montanian.
I may have embellished the dialogue a bit. But that’s for sure the story behind the song.
It’s all in the little things
There is nothing quite like the feeling of driving behind the slowest car in the world and then having them move out of your lane. The only thing that compares is them moving and seeing a completely empty lane. Freedom. True bliss. Why, my heart lifts at the mere thought of it.
Also, there’s someone that passes by on a motorcycle every once in a while who has a Captain America shield. They’re great. Never change, Cap-dude. If anyone knows this unidentified stranger, tell them I owe them for a good chunk of my sanity.
Gennyvera Pacheco. Please end my suffering, 2016. Watercolor.
People are assholes
To quote one of the more profound moments in Orange Is The New Black: “Trust no bitch.”
Assume that every single person besides yourself has no clue how to operate a motor vehicle. Everyone else is actually a toddler in disguise.
Assume that you are the only person who knows what a turn signal is. Everyone else thinks it’s there as a concept, a suggestion, an art piece that cannot be touched.
Assume that you are the only one who can keep all four tires within one lane. Everyone else is living out that “I live my life outside the lines” bullshit on the freeway.
There is no place like home
Does the drive suck sometimes? Hell yeah it does. Sometimes, I consider just sleeping inside Leavey to avoid it. Then I realize that after midnight, Leavey holds human souls captive in exchange for using its space to pull all-nighters.
But the feeling of getting to tell my mom face-to-face about my day, cuddling with my dog, eating some homemade pozole, holding my dog in my arms, helping out with errands, giving my dog at least 100 hugs a day…basically, I really like being home because my dog’s there. She’s great.
Hi Ellie. You can’t read this. You’re a dog.
She’s a little older and hates taking pictures now, so this is the best I got. But look! My favorite ever, making the trek worth it since 2014.
I am my only ride-or-die (pun completely intended)
Now, this is not to discredit the friends out there who really do have my back or anything. But if you’re driving the freeway alone, and you vent about your day or need to have a good cry…the only person listening is you.
If you gotta put Adele’s entire discography on shuffle and sing badly, no one is judging you. You are the only person who is well aware that you still don’t know the actual lyrics to “Rolling In The Deep.” It’s cool: no one else knows either.