Obama is in LA and he’s your most expensive invite date
Prepare for LA traffic being even shittier than usual
President Obama will be in LA for a total of 17 hours through Thursday and Friday for some expensive Hollywood fundraising. Yes, that means tickets that are more expensive than your average fraternity trip to Vegas.
According to Variety, ticket prices will start at $15,000 per couple, which includes a photo op and dinner. Co-host tickets are $33,400 per couple, with a photo and dinner and co-chairs who pay $66,800 per couple gain access to the dinner and photo as well as a VIP reception.
This cost does not include the price of street closures. According to the LAPD, you should avoid South Centinela Avenue between Ocean Park and Pico boulevards, from 7:15 to 8:15 p.m., Sunset Boulevard between Sepulveda and Beverly Glen boulevards, from 7:15 to 8:30 p.m. . . . Basically avoid all of the west side this evening and tomorrow morning. Sucks to be you, UCLA.
On Thursday, President Obama will join House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee chairman Ben Ray Lujan at the Bel Air home of Walt Disney Studios chairman Alan Horn to raise money for congressional candidates.
If you already have plans for Thirsty Thursday, no worries. Actor Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyers will host the president at breakfast fundraiser Friday morning.
Your hungover self could have the chance to drink some OJ with POTUS, and it’ll only cost you $33,400 per couple.
The fundraiser may take place at (the home of the guy who chairs) the Happiest Place on Earth, but the reported ticket price is actually pretty depressing.
So instead of shelling out 15 grand for a photo op and dinner, which are subject to limited availability, here’s what you could do with your leftover allowance money.
1) Adopt 75 rescue puppies and have them certified as emotional support pets. That means that these dogs are legally allowed to be with you anywhere. You’d have the power to turn any fraternity party into a puppy mixer!
2) Those student loans aren’t going to pay themselves back, son. $15,000 could go a long way into paying back Uncle Sam. Or would this still mean, in some way, President Obama still gets your money? Hmm.
3) Throw the best Project X Party in LA. You may think, “wouldn’t $15,000 be best served to a congressperson instead of booze and party condoms?” Well, if you can name your state’s congressperson right now without googling it, do it. If you can’t, shut up you pretentious PoliSci major.
So take my advice people. President Obama is the most expensive date you’ll ever. Instead, stay in with some Netflix’s House of Cards and protect your wallet.
Oh, and be thankful that Donald Trump cancelled his trip to Palos Verdes.