What to wear on Valentine’s Day based on your relationship status
How you should dress when ‘it’s complicated’ with alcohol
How are you spending Valentine’s Day? It probably depends on if you’re dating someone or celebrating as one of the single ladies. But in this day and age, there are so many labels other than just “dating” or “single.”
We must consider our outfit choices for one of the most gaudy – or romantic, depending on your opinion – days of the year.
The wing-woman
Your job is of the utmost importance. Most likely, you will end up walking home alone after pairing up a boozy friend with the hot guy across the bar. Well, hot in terms of what blurry eyes can see. Cheers to you, MVP.
Single and ready to mingle
Assert your importance and classiness with your own personal bottle of bubbly. Accept offers to buy drinks immediately after finishing.
You’re hitting the town with your wing-woman. Go hard or go home (alone). Choose something that highlights your figure type. Drastically do your hair/make up. Wear heels. Beauty is pain.
Single and want to stay that way
Champion a male-repellent hairstyle to keep the boys at bay.
Have your younger sister do your hair and upload a pic to a publicly visible story. Other options: take selfie with cat, upload video singing along to “Me, Myself, and I” (while crying), or tweet your deep hatred for this sorry excuse for a holiday and romance in general.
In a relationship with pets
Athletic wear encouraged, especially if your furry friend sheds.
Who can you cuddle with, share food with, go on long, meaningful walks with, and never argue with? On Valentine’s Day – and all other days – dogs are a girl’s best friend. (This isn’t even my dog, but I can dream.)
‘It’s complicated’ with alcohol
You wait all year to pine for the days of old romance – when courtship was a thing and people used ‘Tinder’ to describe material to start a fire. Opt for clothing that you don’t care will have multiple spill stains, but something comfortable enough to fall asleep in.
In a relationship with food
Note: Casually nice clothes are also acceptable, esp. if you reach for the snacks after a night out.
As your relationship friends discuss their perfect lives, reach for the pizza. Or celery. Stretchy pants are recommended, as is a (very) oversized sweater.
Friends with benefits
Beige peeptoes are the epitome of cute & classy. Booty shorts show off, you guessed it, the booty. Bare the freezing weather for a GNO.
Not all benefits have to be with the opposite sex. Sharing shoes, clothes and any/all wardrobe items with friends is not to be taken for granted. So dress it up with each others’ closets and hit the town. Wear whatever is available.
‘It’s complicated’ with boys
You’re going home with someone either way. Choose your own clothes. Your choices in life have obviously worked so far.
I’m not giving advice here. You should have no reason to complain on V-Day if you have more than one suitor. Some of us are crying into an ice cream tub (guilt-free now, thanks to Ben & Jerry’s vegan options).
Single and ready to run away
Escape to a place without worry of Valentine’s Day and responsibilities in general
Large jacket. Ski mask. Athletic sneakers and leggings to allow for a dash across campus to freedom.
In a relationship with friends
In all types of weather, Old Well photo shoots spread joy.
Stage some marriage proposals at the Old Well. Have a fam dinner. Surround yourself with the love of friendship. Wear whatever you want. You might even have that friend group in which clothing is optional.
In a relationship with yourself
For me, running is freeing. It clears my mind and soul.
You want to look good for yourself, look good. You want to sweat it out for your health, you do it. Today is a day of love, whether that’s for your pet, family, significant other, or, most importantly, yourself. How can you love others without loving yourself first?
Happy Valentine’s Day!