Everything you need to know to have a successful Blarney

Follow these guidelines to ensure that you properly celebrate this sacred day

Blarney. Arguably the holiest of days at UMass Amherst. A day full of drinking, friends, drinking with friends, and endless fun.

There is a lot to consider going into this day, so here are some general tips to make your Blarney experience the best it can be.

Staying in Friday night isn’t the worst call

While you don’t want to get bantered by your peers as being “soft” for staying in Friday night, it’s worth it in the long run. Blarney starts seemingly at the crack of dawn, as you’ll probably be cracking your first beer or tossing back a mimosa by 8 or 9am.

It’s a lot easier to get going when you’re not violently hungover and your brain feels like mashed potatoes. Feeling refreshed and rejuvenated on Blarney morning is critical.

Get your booze the night before

As just said, Blarney festivities pretty much get under way when the birds start chirping. Getting your alcohol on Blarney morning is like getting all of your food on Thanksgiving Day. Liquor stores will be an absolute mad house. The easiest way to avoid this craziness is to stock up the night before – it will make your life a whole lot easier and a lot less stressful.

Eat breakfast

I don’t want to keep harping on it, but this will be one of the longest drinking days of the year. You’re looking at 12 plus hours, just about the same amount of time we spend on our studies every day (just incase Subbaswamy reads this).

All of that booze on an empty stomach is a disaster in the making. You’re looking at an unfriendly visit to Cooley-Dickinson. While I know you are out of this world excited to get the day started, a solid breakfast is a must.

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Wear green

This kind of goes without saying, but wear green. It is a St. Patrick’s Day celebration after all, so try to fit the bill. Or you can be that guy that doesn’t wear green just to be that guy. Also, wear shoes you don’t care about. Since we’re getting into the spring season, there’s a good chance it’s going to be decently muddy outside. Just make sure you take your shoes off before you go to sleep.

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Don’t peak too early

As I may have said before, Blarney is an all-day affair (not sure it’s been mentioned). You’ll be bouncing around town all day pretty much until the sun goes down. While it’s hard not to go overboard out of the gates due to extreme excitement, try to level it out. Don’t be the guy that’s puking up all his Jagerbombs at 10am, it’s just not a good look. Make sure you’re able to enjoy the full day and not finding yourself facedown in the center of the townhouses.

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Keep an eye on your visitors

Blarney also accounts for the most UMass foreigners. Seemingly everybody has at least one or two friends coming up for the special day. As Blarney has developed a notorious reputation, visitors are eager to join in on the festivities. Try to make sure they make it out uninjured and felony free. While this sounds like an exaggeration, it’s a pretty real situation.

Most visitors think they have immunity due to the fact that they aren’t UMass students. This could not be further from the truth. Even if you go to UNH, Boston College or the South Harmon Institute of Technology you can still get arrested for public intoxication or disorderly conduct. Be a good pal and keep ‘em outta trouble.

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Get close to the action (safely & smartly)

Most of the Blarney action takes place in the townhouse, Puffton, Hobart area. It would make your life a whole lot easier if you got to this area the night before, or very early in the morning. If you have a friend who lives in the vicinity, see if you can crash there Friday night.

Travelling Blarney morning could be a hassle, as buses will be slow or not running, and driving is obviously a risk. If you’re in Southwest, walking is probably your best bet. Basically, don’t ruin it for yourself before it has even started.

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Find a destination

Whether it be a friend’s backyard, a Puffton apartment, or the townhouse quad, make sure you actually go somewhere. Don’t just be aimlessly walking around North Pleasant Street with a rolling rock in your hand. Cops will be scattered throughout the area and will approach you. Try not to get yourself arrested right before you head off to PCB for spring break.

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Umm…

So I was trying to get ten tips. Ten is a pretty solid number for a list article. Nine is just an awkward number to end on. But, I could only come up with nine so this is just a filler to make it seem like I got to ten. Pretty savvy move if you ask me, and I don’t think anyone is going to notice. Anyway, just go ahead and read the last one and forget this ever happened.

Don’t be an idiot

While this is pretty broad, it is probably the most important tip. You can definitely have a successful blarney without putting yourself in harms way. Don’t throw a Busch Light can at an obvious freshman’s head, don’t spark a joint when a cop is five feet away from you, and don’t use a building out in the open as your personal urinal. Just get tanked with your friends and have a good time.

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