To the Uber Drivers of Amherst: I’m so sorry

Dear Uber Drivers of Amherst,

I’d like to take this time to address all of you directly, bluntly, and honestly. I’m not entirely sure where to begin. So, I guess I’ll say the most obvious thing first: I am so sorry.

I feel awful that I yelled at one of you that one Friday night a few weeks ago. It’s just that late night at Berk was closing soon and I wanted – no, I needed – those onion rings, and you were driving really slowly. However, that is no excuse for the way I acted. I hope you can forgive me.

My deepest apologies to you in the silver Lexus. I reacted inappropriately to your questions about Adele. It was before she was famous again, so I thought it was extremely random that you asked me where she had gone. As if everyone has extensive knowledge of Adele. I guess, at the time, I was afraid to admit that I too wondered what happened to her.

Your remix of “Rolling in the Deep” was mesmerizing and you drove a Lexus so I think I could’ve learned a lot from you. I blew that chance and will never forgive myself.

Never mind I’ll find someone like you, Uber driver

To the driver in the white Toyota, I am so sorry for touching your radio. I should never have turned up Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song” to full blast. I had had a really hard week and needed to feel empowered. Even still, I was not raised that way and I am sorry.

I hope all past and future Uber drivers understand how thankful I am to have you. You keep me and other members of this great community safe, warm, and offer an alternative to a bus system that may as well be horse drawn.

(Don’t come after me PVTA, this isn’t about you).

You guys seem to be industry experts on college students. You understand our wants and needs without passing judgement. You know that some girls are willing to risk hypothermia and a broken ankle just so that they can look good “going out”.

You also are fully aware that chivalry is dead and guys will almost never offer up their coats. Yet, it is because of you drivers that we are all able to travel safely and warmly without turning on one another. You bring everyone closer.

Aside from the obvious benefits such as warmth and minimal walking, some of the highlights of my nights have come from you guys.

I’ll never forget when one of you had a full conversation with one of my friends in Italian (probably talking smack). Not to mention you showed an incredible amount of compassion after my friend rolled out of your brand new Cadillac (congrats by the way). You then proceeded to hand out your own personal business card offering “Private Jobs” in “Conn-Boston-Ny-RI-Pa-Me”. Evidently your services are not available only in Amherst.

You’re also full of sage advice. It’s not always warranted, but it’s always appreciated, Daron.

The purpose of this letter is to let you know how much we acknowledge your hard work. Week after week, night after night, you come right to our doors and drive us directly where we need to go, sometimes without even one word. Without you guys I don’t know how this school would go on. You have been more influential in my college education than most professors.

You guys are true heroes. I for one cannot wait until Uber Driver Day becomes a nationally recognized holiday and gives me a three day weekend.

So, I will conclude with a quote: “Behind every great man, is a great Uber driver”- Proverb.

Sorry/Thank you/Sincerely,

TJ Hannigan

P.S. Please give me 5 stars.