Losing someone doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself
They never realize what they have until it’s gone
As if you haven’t already guessed why I decided to write this, I’ve recently been going through a breakup. We were together for a little over a year and we made it through our first semester of college doing the whole long distance thing. We were “sooo in love.” Yeah, yeah – typical, right?
I’ve finally realized the best thing that could’ve happened was the ending of it.
It was one of those relationships that when we were together, we couldn’t resist giving each other affection – things that usually make other people cringe. We were “that” couple. Everything just felt so right.
This was the person I told anything and everything to, and vice versa. We shared so many tears, laughs and inside jokes, but I’m just now beginning to realize I was too focused on the positives of our relationship, I ended up ignoring and trying to cover up all the bad.
In a lot of relationships, people tend to overlook mistakes made by our partner. We ignore things that make us unhappy because we don’t want anything to dim the admiration and love we hold in our hearts for this person. It’s typical human nature, but it can be so damaging.
When you make marriage plans and set goals for the future with your significant other, you feel like nothing can come between you two. You think everything will work out as planned, or at least that’s what I thought.
I thought making it through cheating and lies in a relationship would eventually strengthen it. But when it continued to happen, and I continued feeling broken and insecure, I knew it was time for a change.
It’s one of the hardest things in the world to walk away from a relationship. You feel empty, like you’re missing a huge part of your daily life. But I promise you, you’re going to be better off.
Since the breakup, I’ve been through the typical grieving stages – I laid in bed and cried, wondered what I did wrong and went out way too much. But then reality sunk in.
Sure, it’s normal and completely understandable to be upset and out of control for about a week, driving yourself crazy wondering when that person is going to call. Eventually, though, something empowering happens and you start asking: “Why should I have to feel like this?”
You shouldn’t ever feel like you’ve lost your spirit, confidence and spark.
They’re not worth your time
Anyone who leaves you shattered in pieces is not worth your time. How someone treats you after a breakup says more about them than the times you spent together ever will. Trust me on this.
It happens
This may be hard to hear, but a wise friend told me: “Relationships come to an end – it’s normal.” I’m always so hopeful everything will work out like I’ve planned, but life happens. Pick up the pieces and go out with friends. They won’t betray you like he will.
Look for what’s next
There is a plan for you. One relationship ends – most likely for the best – for something better to come into your life. Something better always comes along.
We’re at an incredible university
You are in college. At UGA, I’ve had so many opportunities to meet new people. Regardless of where you are, we’re all surrounded by tons of new people (probably more successful than your ex will ever be). Live it up. Time flies and there’s only so much you can make of your college experience.
You figure out what you’re looking for
This relationship was the best thing that could’ve happened to you. Why? Because it taught you exactly what you don’t want in future relationships. Every experience is a learning experience.
It’s a privilege for someone to be close to you. Anyone who abuses that privilege, or willingly gives it up, will realize what a huge mistake they made. I can only hope you all get the chance to grow strong and laugh in their face when they come crawling back.
Don’t spend your time begging for them to come back. Work on yourself, grow, make more mistakes, focus on friendships and school, strengthen your faith and realize there is beauty in being an independent person who doesn’t need anyone else to complete you.