Frat parties don’t have to control your social life

Your weekends at college are meant to be where you form some of your craziest stories and memories.

After my first few weeks at UD, my Friday and Saturday nights fit that bill. I partied at fraternities all across campus, often times not even knowing directions back to my dorm. I had quickly made some close friends, and we certainly had our moments on these nights.

As the semester continued, and as rush season started, things changed. Bouncers at these frat houses began turning my friends and I away more frequently but my female friends would get in without a problem. I was certainly disappointed, and the realization hit me every weekend wouldn’t be like the first few I had at the beginning of the semester.

Bouncers at the doors would often say “our ratio is off” or that it’s a “closed party” and there were too many guys inside already. My initial feelings were that it was unfair for frats to do this. My hometown friends at other colleges said their fraternities were more loose with who they let in, so I was a bit let down. I understood where the frats at UD were coming from in trying to maintain some semblance, and if I were in at frat, I’d probably be turning guys away too.

That being said, my friends and I still find ways to make our weekends interesting – it’s not as if I choose to stay in my dorm room alone all night instead. I know people in fraternities who sometimes get me into a party, and a friend on a sports team often brings me to his team’s parties. So I’m not void of the college experience, and I still love the university.

I have found numerous ways to get involved on campus throughout the week, whether it be intramural sports, the Entrepreneurship Club, and even writing for The Tab. It’s awesome to dress up and go out on the weekends, and I always meet new and interesting people on my ventures. There have even been some nights where my friends and I would just hangout by ourselves and still have a grand ole’ time.

From my perspective, frats are still a wonderful aspect of college. Many people aren’t aware that most of the money raised for UDance came from fraternities and that they take part in a lot of community service work. Mickey Demarest, a member of an on-campus fraternity here at UD says: “There’s a laundry list of activities that frats take part in, such as philanthropy and fundraising, career development, and networking. Participation in a fraternity is linked to success in aspects of life in college and beyond.” There are several special interest frats on campus, including the one which I hope to be a part of.

Greek life on campuses is often compared to schools that instead have a heavy bar scene. I’ve visited friends at other universities where this is the case, and I had a blast at these places. It was a thrill to walk around various downtown areas and run into familiar faces. At the same time, I was amazed at how much money I found myself spending. Thus, each party scene has its pros and cons, so to speak, and each campus is greatly unique in its social aspect.

While I’m aware that every weekend won’t be like the first few of my first semester of college, I’ve still found ways to have fun, let loose, and be around some great people. I still feel like a member of the student body and the social scene here. I continue to share remarkable and hilarious stories to my friends and family when I arrive home, and I know that as each semester progresses, I’m going to have even more fun as I meet more and more people.

My message to guys in a similar predicament is this: Don’t join a frat just for the parties – there are better reasons to do so. Make friends with other people you meet, because you might make a good connection to get into frat parties. Even if you don’t get in, find other ways to enjoy yourself. I got in sometimes, and when I didn’t, my friends and I had a Plan B.

The disappointment won’t last forever – as you’ll find creative ways to have fun and develop authentic friendships and memories that will last a lifetime.