What it’s like when you’re the only one who doesn’t drink

College is about a time in a young adult’s life where you faithfully choose to make all the fucked up decisions your parents more than likely would’ve killed you for back in high school.

You’ve got sleeping in, hookups whenever you wanted (thankfully for the millennials of today, sex is just a right swipe away), and most importantly, the historical and iconic unlimited supply of boozy drinks. Shout out to those drunken nights that we either want to forget or just can’t seem to remember.

But what about those who don’t drink alcohol? Ya know, those crazy unheard of savages who actually choose to remain chaste and sober when the moon is full and high. Well for starters we don’t turn into werewolves, we aren’t zombie nerds, although we may be plotting for occasional world domination.

Hi, my name is Holden Powell and I’m one of those boring Sober-Sallys people complain about.

Jesus once turned water into wine. I can turn liquor into puke, I mean that’s gotta count for something.

Why don’t you drink?

They do say alcohol has an acquired taste, so let me be the first to tell you that my taste buds may be just a little too bourgeoise. When I first tried vodka, I thought I took a swig of men’s cologne. Don’t ask me how I know what that taste like, but just know my face ended up like Spongebob trying snail food, you know the face.

So no alcohol, at all?

There was a time in high school I had three wine coolers back to back to back and was afraid I was getting a buzz because my arm was twitching. Does that answer your question?

Have you ever been drunk?

I’ve experienced being drunk once in my life and that was last year. I think after the 10th shot of liquor was when the black out occurred. All I could remember was a mix of emotions. One moment I was happy and the next second I was in tears balling like a newborn baby. Then there was another moment where my face was in a toilet, but I try my hardest to forget that one.

There also might have been a brief moment where I was trying to fight another student and then me running like a lunatic to Busby, after that it was all a blur.

So regardless if you’re a Sober-Sally, Nickel-Nympho or a Boozy-Bridgette, how do you enjoy your nights at UConn?