Christopher Ackell: I was wrong about you

Just over a week ago I wrote an op-ed for The Tab called “Let’s hear it for Nickel at Huskies: The night we love to hate”. In the article I ranted about all of the things I hate about this UConn tradition, including facing “the largest and most terrifying looking bouncers you’ve ever seen in your life”.

I didn’t name names, but there certainly was a specific person on my mind when I wrote that, and I think those who read my story knew exactly who I was talking about.

So when I showed up to Huskies for a bar night a couple of days after the story ran, I was confronted at the door by Christopher Ackell, who knew exactly who I was and what I wrote about him.

He said to me, “Most people don’t know this, but I’m really just a big teddy bear”, and that got me thinking.

Ackell is infamous within the UConn community for his job bouncing at Huskies, a campus celebrity if you will. I decided to give him a chance to prove me wrong…so I interviewed him.

We met at Dunkin Donuts in the Union on Friday night. I arrived before him and bought us both coffees, as somewhat of a peace offering. I will admit I was still really nervous about meeting up with him face to face. However, the side of him I saw during our interview was much more like his coffee order, hot plain coffee with two sugars, simple and normal but still kinda sweet.

The basics

Age: “22, despite the fact that I look like I’m 40.”

Graduation date: May 2016.

Major: Double major in Biomedical Engineering and Material Science Engineering, and “it was a horrible decision.”

Do you like being called Ackell?

“I’m fine with it, that’s what everyone calls me, that’s what everyone called my older brother. I was walking in here and someone said ‘Chris’ the other day and I was like ‘someone said my first name?’ I was confused and didn’t respond to it.”

I actually thought Ackell was your first name

“There are a couple girls that legitimately thought I only had the name Ackell.”

Like Cher or Madonna?

“Yeah.”

How do you think your friends would describe you?

“My roommates would probably describe me as crazy. I talk a lot. I like to think I’m a nice person and I think other people that actually know me would reflect that. I don’t know, I’m just a little bit out there.”

Activities

“I started hammer throw my senior year of high school, I picked it up, I was good at it, I was a walk on to the UConn track team, was red-shirted a couple times, had knee surgery.”

Ackell had come straight from a three-hour track practice to meet with me, but was still dressed really well, featuring a button up gingham shirt.

“I actually dress like this a lot. If you’re dressed like an adult you’ll act like an adult. They give you track stuff, they give us a million sweatpants and everything, and if I put those on I’ll take a nap.”

You don’t like the whole athlete swag thing?

“I feel like it’s kinda cliché, and it’s like ‘look at me, I do sports’.”

For those of you who have never seen him in person, Ackell doesn’t need to wear the track team gear to look like an athlete.

Any other hobbies?

“I like woodworking. I grew up working in a house where we had a wood shop: we did houses, everything like that. When I can I’ll make little stuff here and there, like a table or a cabinet. Like everything in my room at my house I made like a desk and a cabinet and everything like that. And I’m working on a nightstand right now.

“My dad owned a woodshop so he would do side jobs and when he retired I was 12 years old working 40 hours a week re-doing houses.”

Career plans

“I’ve always really wanted to work with Veteran Affairs and everything like that because I have always respected military, I actually just applied to a couple jobs working with the Department of Defense, but anything I can do to help someone that isn’t quite in the same situation as me, prosthetics, gene engineering, or anything like that would be really cool.”

All of this really impressed me, a Communication major, who has only taken a single lab course in my four years at UConn.

“When I was growing up my mom worked with traumatic brain injuries and my little brother is a little bit developmentally delayed. I was given a lot of opportunities, I did well in school, and I was really athletic. So it’s one of those things where if I don’t do everything I can to take advantage of that then I’m wasting that opportunity.”

Are you scared to graduate?

“Yes and no, obviously we’re all scared because it’s the real world, but I’m sitting there going I’m not going to be spending 20-40 hours a week at the bar, on top of 20-40 hours a week studying, on top of doing track on top of another 20 hours a week going to class. I’ll have to work 40 hours a week and that’s it and maybe pick up a side job because I won’t know what to do with myself.”

Bouncer life

“I started working at a bar going into my junior year of high school. My older brother used to bounce at a bar and he would come back with scrapes and bruises all the time. My older brother is 5’10” 160 pounds, and I’m 6’2” 240 pounds, so the running joke is Mom and Dad sent me there to watch my big/little brother.”

How long have you been bouncing at Huskies?

“This will be my fifth year. My brother worked there before me. He was like ‘hey, you want a job?’ when I decided I was going to UConn. I walked in on my first day on campus and they were like ‘here’s a staff shirt, watch the back door, kick anyone out who is drunk, bye.’”

What is your favorite role to do at Huskies?

“Back when I was younger we used to stand up on the eye, the rock (that’s what we call the big podiums) and we’d mess with people, like make eye contact with them and then start dancing up there. And we had a group of guys that had been together for a long time, so we were all good friends, and it was a big joke up there. It’s a lot different now.

“I enjoy being at the front door because, you can tell, I’m a talkative person. Interpersonal communication is a big thing for me, being able to know everyone’s name, and see how people are doing that I know. Versus if you’re up on the rock or on the eye you have to be super serious all by yourself. It’s nice to have that communication with the people that I see three times a week every week. I remember people’s names and what they look like: I think that is important especially in customer service. If it’s not a personal relationship, at least know someone on a basis where you can have a conversation with them.”

Do you have to go through bouncer training?

“It’s just kind of a crash course. Connecticut doesn’t have any regulations. In New York and Massachusetts you have to take tests. You have to be licensed. I’ve taken a California small securities license exam, because I’ve done some formals and stuff like that. Because it’s cheaper for the girls, the sororities, to do that than have police, police are $300 an hour. I’m like, you throw me $150 and give me a sandwich, and I’ll be happy.”

Huskies

What did you think of my story when you read it?

“I was going to write a response article. Just going down the list, everything that you had, ‘what we love to hate about nickel’, I mean, I was gonna do ‘why I love to hate you guys’. First, ‘I hate the line’. Well there’s a line because….what’s cover?”

$6

“$6 every time except Fridays it’s $3. So on Thursday if you walk up you know you should have $6 in your hand, and your ID out. The amount of people that walk up and don’t have that, and I have to wait for them to like dig through their wallet and get it out…that line would be gone so fast. I’ve timed myself before, if everyone has their stuff out, I can get 210 people through the door in 10 minutes.

“Then the bathroom….when I came here freshman year there were latches on all the doors and the bathroom was in good shape. I’ve repainted that bathroom three times.”

I’m sorry you had to do that

“You walk into a girl’s bathroom in her apartment and it is almost pristine. I don’t know what ya’ll do in the Huskies’ bathroom. It’s like, the toilet paper, you take it, chew it up, and spit it out, and then you’re like ‘I don’t know what happened to the toilet paper’. We walk in there at the end of the night and it’s everywhere. I know how many girls are on their periods that night because I see the tampon wrappers. I’ve found them stuck to the ceiling before. Rule number two is don’t look up.

“Another reason we don’t have locks is because at least once a month I find a girl passed out in there. The response is always the same: they get irate that you woke them up. ‘You know you’re at huskies’ ‘yea I know I’ll just stay here tonight’ ‘No you have to leave’ ‘no no no I’m fine’.”

“I have PTSD from that bathroom.”

What kind of weird things do you see when you’re bouncing?

“I don’t know why people come to the bar and then all of a sudden you’re a savage. Obviously there’s a line, like okay get drunk, whatever, but there’s just some stuff that I don’t get. I’ve broken up two hand jobs: I’ve broken up sex a lot. The amount of sexual encounters people have outside the bar, on the back hill or something like that, blows my mind. There’s nothing quite like coming up to somebody, and everyone knows what an O-face looks like.”

Any big fights?

“That’s the thing, now, from working at the front door I know everyone’s names. We don’t get into fights. Freshman, sophomore year there used to be quite a few fights because it was a different dynamic. But you get to know someone well enough where you know them by their first name and you can be like ‘hey, stop being an idiot’.

“You’re there to have a good time there’s no reason to fight.”

Have you ever been to Nickel as a patron?

“Yes, on my 21^st birthday. I try to shy away from it because it’s a whole self-control thing. I try to refrain from drinking too much, because when I drink too much it’s like I just speed up. I’ll go there and everyone buys me drinks, ‘Ackell’s out he’s gotta have drinks’. I won’t even buy anything and next thing I know I’ll be drunk off my ass. I’m a very amicable drunk. I give out a lot of hugs.”

Advice to Nickel goers

“Have your IDs out when you come to the door, cover is $6, it’s not that hard to get a five and a one, despite what many people think you don’t actually have to leave your dignity at the door. It is OK to be a normal human being. In the winter, wear clothes, please, just wear a coat, we have the coat check. Just don’t leave your dignity at the door. You’re an adult.

“You wrote in your article ‘leave your dignity at the door’, just leave your prefrontal lobe at the door. Just go ahead, become a caveman, walk in there, guys look for sex and girls, I don’t know. Alcohol in the system, prefrontal lobe is gone, evolution ends, and it’s like cavemen.

“I got a little drunk at a tailgate one day, one girl came over and she was like ‘Ackell you have to meet my dad’. I’m drunk and a little bit slow but I definitely know who you had sex with last week, and I’m about to look your father in the eye, and shake his hand and say ‘nice to meet you’. I shook his hand and I went, ‘I’m sorry’. To all the mothers and fathers out there, I’m sorry, and to all the kids out there, just try to be an adult.”

Should I go to Nickel tonight?

“As someone who doesn’t get to go out often, enjoy college as much as possible. So if you feel like you’re going to have more fun going to Nickel than Netflix and wine, then go do that.”

I don’t know, Netflix and wine sounds pretty good

“You gotta make some mistakes so you can tell some stories when you’re older. I wanna be that grandpa that’s like ‘when I was your age…’ ‘Grandpa shut up no!’”

What do you want to say to people like me that have called you scary or intimidating?

“Go for it. If that is what you want to think OK, But, anyone who has had a conversation with me knows I’m not that bad of a person.

“Believe it or not I’m an amiable person outside of this whole bouncer façade.”

Well it’s your job, I’m glad you’re effective at doing your job and you’ve mastered the scary face

(Ackell does the scary face)

Stop you’re scaring me right now

My conclusions

When I asked Ackell to do the interview with me, I promised him that, if he proved me wrong, I would apologize in my next article. So here it is: Ackell, I was wrong about you. Your bouncer face is intimidating but behind that you’re a very friendly, intelligent guy and I enjoyed getting to know you.

If my mom were writing this she’d say that I’ve learned a lesson: don’t judge a book by its cover.

Before we parted Ackell wanted to ask ME a question.

“I have a question for you if you don’t mind, as a patron of Huskies, what do you have to say to the bouncers and the staff?”

As many complaints as I had in my last story, I admit that almost all are not at the fault of the Huskies staff. I complain about the crowding, the hostile Nickel girls, and the drunk idiots, but I do feel sorry for the employees that have to deal with it all sober.

Another lesson that I’ve learned is that maybe, if we’re a little more respectful to the Huskies staff, they’ll be able to treat us a little better too. Maybe if so many people didn’t try to fool Ackell with fake IDs, he wouldn’t have to make his scary bouncer face at everyone at the door. Maybe if we tipped the bartenders, it would be easier to get a drink. On that note, maybe if we just tried to be kind and understanding to our fellow Nickel-goers, the hostile Nickel girls wouldn’t exist.

That day may never come, definitely not before I graduate. But at least now I have a new friend that works at Huskies.