I spent 24 hours in the library

I like to think of myself as somewhat of a sleep aficionado and a specialist in unproductivity. The thought of having to spend 24 hours in a library, to me, sounds about as appealing as watching an episode of The Jerry Springer Show or attending a Donald Trump rally. However, as a (struggling) Chemical Engineering major taking 18 units, spending 24 hours in the library presented the fantastic opportunity of FINALLY catching up on my classes.

The strategy I decided on was to divide my time in two halves, the first where I would try to get as much work done as possible and the second where I would just focus on staying awake. I decided on updating my journal at an interval of every two hours so, you know, I could slowly record my descent into madness.

Below I have detailed my experiences so you too can be like me if you’re daring enough (or insane enough).

What you’ll need

Caffeine

LOTS OF IT. Preferably, overload your system with as many *cough* stimulants *cough* as possible so you physically are unable to fall asleep.

Deodorant

This is optional, but after a few hours you don’t want to offend those gifted with the sense of smell, would you?

A change of clothes

I found that changing my shirt definitely had a revitalizing effect.

Book(s)

More than anything, boredom was my biggest travail and I was glad I could mix it up with a good book. This is in addition to the books you need for schoolwork, obviously.

So it begins

Wednesday, May 4^th, 12:04:17 P.M.

I don’t think it was precisely that time, but it’s always cool when they do that in the movies.

2:00pm

I’m pumping with adrenaline, I’m a man on a mission. I’ve decided that I’m going to make the Main Reading Room my base because it reminds me of Hogwarts. Well, until they kick me out and I have to switch over to the 24-hour room.

I think tonight’s the night that I master the C programming language (yes, I’m a nerd).

4:00pm

I just consumed my first 5-Hour Energy and am worryingly excitable. However, I just spent the best part of the last two hours watching Gordon Ramsay shout at people so my productivity has definitely seen a decline already.

I’m bored and want to go home. This is perhaps the longest I’ve ever been at the library without interruption. I’m incredibly proud.

6:00pm

Finished my Matlab homework. At this point I would usually reward myself with a nap but I’m saving it for later. Time to sip on a Red Bull. Honestly? I’m confounded because this is perhaps the single most boring experience of my life.

I really don’t know why I agreed to do this, I literally could have stayed home and done exactly the same (and more).

8:00pm

Just ate a sandwich. The crowd’s starting to thin out. Good on ya, going out there doing things. I find that my cycle essentially consists of me wanting to work, giving up, watching videos on Youtube, perusing through social media and contemplating my choices. I could be eating tacos right now.

What am I doing with my life?

10:00pm

I’ve switched over to the 24-hour study room. Looks like there’s seasoned prodigies in here with their hoodies and headphones blocking out any external stimuli. I’ve set a countdown to 11:59 P.M. I don’t want to lose a second of napping time.

Hopefully the caffeine weans off by then.

Midnight

AW MAN HELL YEAH! THIS IS IT PEOPLE! THIS FEELS LIKE THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. I WISH I HAD A SPEECH PREPARED.

*Cue ‘Feeling a Moment’ by Feeder*

2:47am

I feel so groggy. I’m down to my last Red-Bull but I think the time to drink it would be now. I really want to go home. But hey, on the bright side I haven’t scheduled myself to do any work for the remainder of my time here so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts, no?

I should probably change, but honestly at this point I’m beyond caring.

4:00am

Began the second half of this ‘endeavor’ with Classic Americana-Angry Grandpa, which is essentially a Youtube channel where a 66 year old bipolar/chain-smoking/trailer-park-livin’ grandpa gets angry (surprise-surprise) and smashes shit with his myriad tools/weapons.

It’s literally the stuff I’m going to show to my children.

6:00am

Kill. Me. Now. This whole enterprise was an exercise in futility. I’m so bored that I have begun to appreciate the nuances in the ‘artwork’ on the table. Hey, that could possibly be an interesting idea for an art project-going to libraries across California and making a collage of the varied scribbles?

Fuck I’m bored. Also, my phone’s dying and I’ve forgotten my charger. This just keeps getting better.

8:00am

I think I might switch back over to the Main Reading Room at some point because that’ll give me something to do. My body hurts from sitting in one place for so long.

But I guess now it’s all about powering through to the end. Time to drink my last 5-hour energy.

10:00am

And we’re back in the main reading room. The increased activity has perked me up a little. I haven’t felt exhaustion like this in years-well literally the only other time I tried staying awake for 24 hours. 0/10 would not recommend.

OH SHIT I JUST REALIZED that there’s literally less than 1 hour and 55 minutes until I’m free.

11:57am

I’M NEARLY THERE! YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE IT!

More than anything, this experience has reduced my desire to break the law (well maybe not the jaywalking law). I cannot imagine going to prison and having to stay in the same space for years on end without respite – I’d go insane.

But I digress. In all seriousness, I would do this again (with more planning, breaks and candy of course). For someone as easily distracted as me, perhaps the best thing is to have to sit in one place despite the consternation associated with it.

Look at that I’m becoming melancholic with age.

UPDATE 12:44pm

This is me after the fact. Don’t be fooled, my apparent ebullience belies the fact that I’m struggling to stay standing.

In my infinitely awesome and sleep-deprived state , I have decided to answer some FAQs’ that I think you readers really care about.

How long were you in the library for?

About 86400 seconds

 

How many existential crises did you have?

Definitely more than 4

How many times does Gordon Ramsay swear in a typical episode of “Hell’s Kitchen”?

Fewer times than Tony Montana in Scarface but definitely more than one can expect in an episode of ‘The Teletubbies’.

Can you do a reverse 720 whilst balancing a cup of noodles on your head?

Yes

Is there anything stronger than love?

Yes, an Apache AH-64 Longbow

What is the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything?

42