Everything the UC Davis class of 2020 should know

On TV, in movies, and even in books college is made out to be a paradise. Kids who have been held back by their parents for so long finally get to experience true freedom. The images in the media are constant and vivid: insane frat parties, casual hook ups, drugs, and alcohol.

A little less than a year ago as I packed all of my belongings into cardboard boxes and said my final goodbyes to my friends all I could think about was how ready I was for what I had seen in the movies and on TV.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t really prepared for the reality of college. Sure, some people did mention offhand that moving out of the house and into the dorms might be a difficult transition, or that academics might be a little tougher, but nobody told me just how much the difficulties of this transition could affect my mental health.

Thankfully, I am having a great time in college now, but I didn’t get to this point without going through a lot of crap and even thinking about taking a year off from school.  I think back to my innocent, post-highschool, pre-college self and I wish I could take her by the shoulders, look her straight in the eyes, and tell her what I am writing in this article, because it would’ve saved me from a lot of hurt. Since I can’t time-travel, the next best thing is letting the next generation of freshmen know what’s in store for them, and how to deal with it.

So, here’s my list of things I wish someone had told me before I left for college:

You will not make best friends within the first week, or even first couple of months

It takes time to make friends and to figure out who is really ‘right’ for you.

One of the hardest parts about college is making friends. In highschool I had (and still have) two incredible best friends who I was inseparable from. Going from having a close-knit friend group to a school full of virtual strangers was hard! Even when I did make friends it was difficult to compare our relationship to the ones I had in high school, and sometimes my friendships with people felt strained, as if we were friends just for the sake of having friends.

This was hard on me during the first couple of months because I saw everyone else go off into groups and form what seemed like super strong bonds with other people. I learned later that no groups are as tight knit as they seem, and that the friend issue is universal among college freshman. The key is to be patient.

You will eventually find the person that just gets you so don’t feel bad if it takes you longer than other people.

You have to learn to be okay with hanging out with just yourself

This might seem lame to say, and you might not think this will happen to you, but, I guarantee that there will be times when you find yourself alone in your dorm room. I’m not embarrassed to admit that when this first happened to me during fall quarter I was shocked. It felt weird to have no one to hang out with and nothing to do, and I started blaming myself for it.

Was I  a loser? Was everyone else hanging out without me? No. This is just something that happens in college because everyone is busy doing their own thing.

It is an important life skill to be alright with this, and as time goes on you’ll probably start looking forward to getting a break from going out and studying and instead binge-watching Netflix and eating microwave popcorn. Trust me, it’s pretty fun.

You WILL get homesick, even if you really don’t think that’s possible

I was so ready to get away from my home-town and be able to do my own thing that I thought it would be impossible for me to ever get homesick. But, about two months in, it hit me that I really really missed my dogs, having my own room, not having to wear flip-flops in the shower, and my family.

It’s important to remember when this emotion hits you that this is totally normal and doesn’t necessarily reflect whether or not you are having a good time in college. Keep in mind that it will pass, and in the mean time Facetime your mom or dad (after all, they’re excited to hear how you are doing!).

Parties are actually hard to find sometimes, and that doesn’t mean you are a loser

At UC Davis, parties can be hard to find if you are not a member of Greek life. I was very surprised after welcome week to find that many parties were invite-only or exchanges between sororities and fraternities. Nothing felt worse than sitting around with my friends in my dorm room on a Friday night with nothing to do especially since we all thought college would be four years of endless partying.

As the weeks past however, I learned that a) pretty much everyone has this problem b) staying in can be fun, and c) as you make more friends and get more involved on campus this problem will go away.

Even if you’re absolutely sure what you want to do with your life, college will make you question your decisions

When I first started at Davis I was 100% sure I wanted to be a veterinarian. Fast forward two quarters and the number has plummeted to 10%. It was hard at first to question myself, and consider different majors because I felt like I was betraying everyone I had told about my ambitions before leaving for college.

It didn’t take me long to realize that exploration is the entire point to college and the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what you want is normal. I encourage everyone to try and take as many classes in as many different fields as possible. You never know what might spark your interests.

Social media LIES

There’s going to be a moment when you look through your facebook, instagram, or even snap stories and ask yourself “Why is everyone else having such a good time in college?” or “Why can’t that be me?” Well, I know for a fact that what you see on social media doesn’t reflect real life and I know this because I am definitely part of the problem:

This is what I (unfortunately) normally look like on campus:

And this is what I look like on Instagram:

Join a club. Just do it

This one i’m sure you’ve heard a thousand times: get involved on campus. As cliche as it sounds, I have found that the more you put into your involvement on campus the more you get out of college. When I first came to Davis I thought that I would be too busy to get involved in any extra-curriculars so I didn’t look into any. Looking back, I  regret not making the decision to join a club earlier on in the school year.

What finally drove me to look for a club to join halfway through winter quarter was the realization that I was lost in a sea of students. I was starting to hate college so much so that I was considering taking spring quarter off in order to sort things out, and I didn’t know if I would come back. So, in a last ditch effort to start having more fun, I joined swim club. This has turned out to be one of the best (if not the best) decisions I have made since coming to college.

Not only have I figured out a way to force myself into exercising (let’s be honest, the ARC wasn’t cutting it) but I have also  met so many amazing, kind, hard-working, individuals who make my day brighter every time I see them. Joining a club allowed me to find a community on campus that made Davis feel a little bit more like home.

And finally, when you need help, don’t be afraid to ask 

There are going to be moments when you feel absolutely horrible. And that’s normal, after all you are making one of the biggest transitions you will in your life. But it’s still important to get help when you need it and to not be afraid to open up to friends.

I guarantee you that everyone has felt the same way at some point in their college experience, I know I have. There are also so many on campus resources like CAPS and the Student Health and Wellness center. Everyone here on campus wants you to succeed and be happy, and that starts with being kind to yourself.

Congratulations on your acceptance to UC Davis, see you around next year!