Why you shouldn’t stress about living with your future roommate

If you’re getting ready to head off to college for the first time ever, it’s very likely it’ll be the first time you have to live with a complete stranger in close quarters. A stranger. Although I think the word “stranger” maintains an intensity suitable to the situation, I don’t want to scare you, so I will use the more cuddly word: froomie.

Maybe you’ve already sent said froomie a friendly Facebook message. Maybe you’ve stalked her Facebook and come to a seemingly solid conclusion – if she snores, that won’t be the worst part about living with her. Maybe she goes out too much, or she studies too much, or she wears weird clothes, or her pictures are so artsy that you can’t even find her. If you’re luckier, maybe your conclusion is that she seems so awesome that it doesn’t even matter if she snores.

Whatever the verdict, maybe you’ve decided she’s nothing like you. You’ve decided you will draw an imaginary line halfway through your room and you will keep to yourself. Or she’s just like you. You’re probably, very likely, most definitely going to be best friends. Or she’s just like you but a way cooler version. Why aren’t you as lucky as your best friend whose froomie looks perfectly average and agreeable?

Maybe, in the worst possible scenario, your froomie does not have a Facebook. She is off the map. You went random and now you regret everything about every college decision you ever made because holy crap, your froomie will remain a complete stranger to you until you are forced into your first sleepover together.

Maybe, you got to pick your froomie. You surfed through Facebook posts, car-shopping style, liked a few you wanted to entertain as options and messaged the ones who looked the most normal, most flexible and most like you.

Whatever method you went about in obtaining a froomie, it’s extremely likely that by this point in the summer, you’ve worked yourself into a pre-college frenzy. Here is my advice to you.

Whatever you assumed, you’re probably wrong

Emma (right) who was initially afraid of her froomie’s affinity for quotes, coffee shops, and the color pink, quickly learned to love Madison (left) and the pink half of their room.

Don’t assume they are what they put on social media. Whether you want to assume good or bad, save yourself the effort and just don’t. We all know social media is a game that some know how to play better than others. Trust me, I am not one of the people who is good at it. Stalk me back long enough and then you and I both will be asking my parents why I was allowed to have a Facebook in middle school. The best way to go about meeting your froomie is with the understanding that people are multidimensional, and it will take you a while to get to know her.

Don’t compare froomies

Claudia (left) and Lexi (right), the roommates to be envied, with their identical bed times, wake up times, and degree of messiness.

All your best friends are going to get different froomies. They’re not all going to be similar, but it’s okay because your goal should not be to make a giant friend group of all your froomies. Let them be different. You can’t necessarily trade froomies either, so don’t compare them. If you’re jealous of a friend’s seemingly compatible froomie, then you’re assuming. Don’t assume, remember?

You always have an opt out button

Once your froomie becomes your roomie, if you are unhappy, you can leave. You cannot be forced to stay in a living situation that is uncomfortable or detrimental to your education. Don’t be afraid to speak up to your RA, Housing Association, or parents if your roommate situation becomes unbearable. You are not stuck with this stranger that you have been assigned to live with. Deep breaths, froomies don’t have to be permanent.

Let yourself be surprised

My roommate Lara (right) and I, who met before school, overlooked our completely opposite sleeping schedules in the froomie excitement, ran into problems, problem solved and remained friends nonetheless.

Don’t be afraid of a froomie who is different. In your college search for new friends, don’t look for people who are just like you. Find people who put a twist on your way of living. Make new friends who surprise you and who help you surprise yourself. College is about new experiences, and a froomie can have as little or as big of an impact on your experiences as you want. You’re in control.

Hold onto the certainty of yourself. You can handle a froomie. Don’t stress.