How to score the perfect Boot hook-up

This guide will work for ANYONE: Girls and guys, guys and girls, girls and girls, and guys and guys.

We’ve all been there: you’ve had a rough week of mediocre Bruff meals and what feels like never ending school work. Well, The Tab has a solution for you. It’s time to ditch your part-time lover Howie T this Friday night (we hear he is quite the player anyway) and make your way to the Boot for Happy Hour.

Follow this step-by-step guide to finding the perfect person to share a drunken make-out with.

Step 1: Make a B-line for the bar.

Even if you don’t buy a drink (which you probably should for some liquid courage) or are not 21, the bar is a great place to scan your prospective options for the night.

Step 2: Once you have gotten your first drink, inspect the surrounding area.

Look slowly! The key is to be thorough when checking your surroundings, so you don’t pass up a prime guy.  Because we all know how crowded it gets during Friday happy hour.

Step 3: Find at least two people you could see yourself cozying up to by the end of the night.

This ensures that if your first choice doesn’t work out, not all hope is lost.

Step 4: Make your move.

SLOW IS KEY ONCE AGAIN! You don’t want people to think you only came to the Boot to kiss a stranger, because that’s like really lame and uncool of you. (Even though that is 100% the only reason you left your Hulu show on pause…)

Step 5: As you awkwardly bop your head to the music (because you’ve only had one drink and still don’t know how to dance) make eye contact with your potential boo — he should be within AT LEAST two feet of you by now.

Hopefully he is returning the eye contact and starts making moves. If not, then he is either clueless to life (because you should be making your interest in him quite obvious) or, said person is just not interested, clearly proving he sucks.

(Please Note: If this happens to be the case, repeat Step 4 with your second option.)

Step 6: Dance with him for at least five minutes.

This time period is key because you don’t want to seem too desperate (even though you probably are), so dance with him for at least five minutes before going in. Time to show off your moves. You most likely have someone watching who you want to make jealous, so this is the time to put it all out there.  

Step 7: Make out tiiime!!!

If he hasn’t already tried to spin you around to face him, you should go ahead and do that yourself. Look him in the eye and- well, hopefully you know what to do from there. Otherwise you should have just stayed in bed.

*Remember: not too much tongue.

---

Congrats, you have successfully found the perfect Boot hook-up!

Remember, no matter who you are or who your next make out buddy is, this WILL work. And if it doesn’t, clearly you’re not doing it right.

Also, if your night happens to go further than a dance floor makeout, remember to use protection (preferably with a Tab condom).

Keep your eye out for Part 2 to this article: How to avoid your Boot hook-up the week after