A freshman’s guide to transitioning into Temple University

You’ve said your goodbyes. You’ve cried so hard your knees became weak while your voice squeaked out a hoarse “I love you too”.

You’ve met new people on your floor and awkwardly shared bits and pieces of your life in a desperate hope that someone will have something in common with you during freshman seminar.

It’s official―you’re a freshman at Temple University and it’s the start of something new! Cue the High School Musical song, and get ready to finally start freshmen year.

While kicking off your first year of college is an exhilarating moment of your life but it’s also probably one of the scariest.

If you’re like me, you’re already feeling an insane amount of emotions coursing through your body at one time leaving you feeling numb and overwhelmed about being starting this new phase of your life.

No one really tells you about the confusion and sadness you might feel as a freshman but I was feeling it suddenly.

According to this study, separation homesickness is a widespread and common component of the first-year student experience, with 30% of students reporting high levels of separation homesickness.

So it's pretty normal to be a homesick freshman, and I was one of them.

I had no idea I would miss my dog Max as I walked through Johnson Hall knowing that he wouldn’t be there to greet me at the door, or not be able to stop thinking about my old friends and attempting to focus on my new friends I’ve made at Temple.

Whether you’re missing your family, your pets, the feeling you get when you can lay on the couch in your underwear without being judged (sorry roomie, didn’t see you there) or your long-distance relationship that seems to be testing your heart more and more every day―everyone here is bound to be missing something or someone back in that place you call home.

No matter the circumstance or stage of homesickness that you’re at right now, I’ve come to realize that it’s harder to get through it if you don’t understand it. So, in simple terms, here is how I have come to understand the stages of missing someone or something:

You will first be happy to be here, you just moved in

At this stage, you’re not feeling much except for the exhilaration of having a newfound independence.

You want to take a trip to 7/11 in the middle of the night for pretzel bites? Go for it. You want to wait three weeks, or months, to do your laundry? You can cause you're in college! You want to take a nap after class instead of starting your homework? Who’s going to stop you?

No one.

This stage is especially nice until your bank account says that you have $0.68 left, your hamper starts to muster up a distinct odor, and you get so stressed out about being behind that you then wake up and stay awake until 2 a.m. to feel on track again.

At this point, you don’t feel the presence of any absences but your heart aches a little bit when you pass your sibling’s favorite candy in the store down the street. You’re also secretly testing your limits and doing everything your parents told you not to while still afraid that your dad is going to show up asking what the hell you think you’re doing.

You will soon become relaxed around campus

By now, you feel pretty comfortable on campus, and you don’t get as excited as you used to about staying up late to watch Netflix instead of working on your essay.

Instead of it being cool to stay up all hours of the night and go adventuring―now it’s just a nuisance to yourself if you don’t get enough sleep for your 8 a.m. You've also learned that you don’t need to spend all your money on food when you can wait for the dining hall to open again (for free).

Your dorm room will start to feel like home and you live for the moments when you can avoid contact with everyone and just focus on living it up and enjoying the full college experience. You will try to avoid the ache in your heart that tells you how much you’d rather not be here and instead convince yourself of how much fun you’re having.

This stage lasts maybe two minutes a day at most, but it doesn’t stop you from feeling like you have your life together for that short time frame in the middle of the day.

You will feel sad at random moments but it will be okay

The final stage is when the feeling of absence hits you all at once like a heavy downpour on a bright sunny day. You don’t see it coming, which makes it even harder to recover from. During this stage, you’ll cry for what feels like hours in the bathroom stall as you wonder why you ever wanted to leave home. You’ll hold onto your childhood teddy bear so tightly the seams will start to burst and you’ll be left with a memory of what used to be.

However the coolest things will happen once you're done going through these stages of your transition into Temple University.

You will call home and they will remind you of your passions, your dreams, and why you decided to follow them all the way out to a busy city like Philadelphia.

They’ll guide you back to your ambitions and set you back on your course for greatness, knowing that you’re going to be okay on your own. The rain will subside and shining greatly above the trees will be the faint trace of a rainbow waiting for you to follow it until the darkness swallows up the night and it’s time for you to start another day.

Don’t get me wrong — these aren’t the only stages of transitioning into this new phase. For some, we experience the second stage of oblivious relaxation constantly, which is great. For others, it’s a long constant cycle of throwing away snotty tissue after snotty tissue from their beds where they laid and wept about the life they used to have.

I've been there, I understand and trust me―we're not alone.

However, what I will say is that the emptiness you are feeling right now when you’re sitting in your room alone eating ramen at four in the morning will eventually pass.

The fake smiles you’re giving to your new friends when they ask how you’re doing will slowly fade away.

You’ll be okay. Like the ocean, your longing for your mom's hugs will come in strong waves and will hit the shore harder than it did the first time. But it will get better. The tide will calm down and before you know it, the waters that you once feared will settle down and make you forget the hurt you once felt.

As freshmen, we must learn how to overcome the feeling to cry every time a loved one calls to say they miss us. It may or may not ever subside, but the feeling of pride in what we're accomplishing at Temple will last a lifetime.

Take advantage of these steps. If you see something that reminds you of home, capture it and keep it as a happy memento instead of an awful reminder of how much has changed.

If the need to cry overpowers your need to study, take a moment to call a friend or family member and tell them that you love them, and make plans for the next time you plan on coming home. Cherish the memories and the people you have in your life, but don’t let that stop you from creating new ones.

Just like the cherry and the white, you too can fight for your happiness here at Temple.