Holiday survival guide: Awkward family question edition

Right after Halloween ends, most people’s thinking shifts either to Thanksgiving or Christmas. The commercials come out, carols start playing prematurely on the radio and things feel a lot more festive. The holiday season comes to town as quickly as it goes, so it’s important to be ready for all of the fun (or not) family events that are crammed in the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. With family comes the daunting questions that inevitably accompany any self-respecting holiday dinner.  Here are some appropriate ways to answer a few of the worst questions you will absolutely be asked over turkey tomorrow.

“How’s this semester going?”

Unless you are having the greatest and easiest semester of your college career, just say it’s fine. Honestly, it saves you a lot of trouble of explaining to your extended family how much you hate your Calc professor or how badly you’re doing in the Gen-Ed that was supposed to be your easy A.

“Wait, what’s your major?”

It doesn’t matter if you’re a freshman or a grad student, you will be asked this by someone in your family. Don’t be rude about them asking for the millionth time, just tell them what it is, even though they asked you the same thing at the last family gathering.

“What do you even want to do with that?”

It can be either really easy or really hard to answer this question. If you’re someone who has a really obscure major or one that you know may not be the most practical, just tell them you don’t know what you want to do yet or tell them you plan on following your dreams. If they comment about how you should switch majors to something more practical, brush it off and ask for more stuffing.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

This one is the hardest to answer without losing your shit, so breathe. Take a deep breath before freaking out at grandma for reminding you how unbelievably single you are, she didn’t mean to upset you. Instead of sarcastically replying about how Tinder just isn’t doing its job, smile and say you’re too busy with school to be focused on finding love (which we all know is totally not true). Laughing off this topic will make it easier to breeze over, trust me.

“What happened to (insert ex’s name)?”

Like the last one, try not to go into too much detail or get to angry at your drunk Aunt Debbie for asking about your shitty ex. No one in your family, besides your mom and your gossipy sisters who already know the story, cares to know about how your ex boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend and some random freshman. Just calmly say that things didn’t work out and it wasn’t meant to be, which is usually enough to avoid further questions about the last thing  you want to think about.

“Oh my God, do you feel safe there?”

As a student of a city school, I get this question any time I see any extended family member. To answer your ever-panicky aunts, just say yes because you never walk alone at night (even if you do) and that you have total faith in the security and/or police at your university (even if you don’t). Reassuring your family that your school is more than its location is a tedious task, but it’s worth it when you can talk about all of the good things about your school.

“Can you believe that football season?”

No, still doesn’t feel real… but you’ll never forget it.

Remember kids, less is more when it comes to answering any question your family may throw at you this holiday season.

Good luck.