Five things that would’ve been a better use of money than the six million dollar promenade

The promenade. To many Syracuse students, the first thing that comes to mind is the image of the newly constructed, controversial $6,00,000 brick walkway down University Avenue. After I’ve gotten to experience the promenade and see what it truly has to offer Syracuse, I can officially say, from my own opinion, that it’s a giant bougie waste of money, courtesy of a system that would rather show off to benefactors than supply students and faculty with what they actually want. While the initial outrage and criticism has died down, I can’t help but feel a massive sense of frustration every time I walk down $6 million worth of bricks.

Rather than criticize Syracuse University on how it spends its money, I wanted to offer alternatives for future reference that would be just as useful if not more to the population of SU. So without further ado, here are some other just as useful products that the $6,000,000 could’ve been spent on.

6 C-Explorer Submersibles

Ever wonder what diving beneath Onondaga Lake and not putting yourself at risk for deadly pathogens? Ponder no more! With these pricey submarines, you and five of your closest friends can dive 1000 feet and take in the majesty of what was once called America’s most polluted lake. Rentals would be found at the Schine box office. Enjoy!

bricks or submarines?

75,000 Pairs of Adidas Superstars

Whether you’re just starting to get into the world of sneakers or you’re an old pro, every person on earth needs 5 pairs of Adidas Superstars. One pair could be your frat shoes, one pair could be your gym shoes, one pair could be your just hanging out shoes, one pair could be your shower shoes, one pair could be your business casual shoes. The possibilities are truly endless. But you would probably never have to buy sneakers again.

pumped up kicks, amiright?

Bowling For Soup, Gucci Mane, Nickelback, The Dave Matthews Band, Deadmau5 live in concert with $4.2 million leftover for corndogs

I don’t think I need to write why this would be a flawless lineup. We have to be able to erase the dark memory of Fettygate, right?

Who wouldn’t want to see this hottie in person?

31,578 Bigfoot Chia Pets and 60,000  Orangutan Suits

I know a big highlight of the promenade was that it would begin the “beautification” of Syracuse. I respect that idea. But I think that having a big stretch of concrete can actually be marring to the naturalistic beauty of our campus. So I think that these Chia pets and statues would really do the job with beautification and blend in seamlessly.

~50 houses at the Jersey Shore

Since every single person that goes to Syracuse is from New Jersey, I think its appropriate that as a school we purchase some realty in the state. Want to visit your friend who goes to Bucknell but don’t actually want to go to Bucknell because what do you even do there? Meet halfway at a house on the shore! Want to go somewhere for spring break but Florida seems too far away or you’re scared of change? New Jersey is only an hour flight away from Syracuse so you can always be back in a heartbeat. ‘Cuse students would truly get their money’s worth out of these houses. Probably within a week.