We asked drunk college students for their political opinions

Nothing was damaged in the making of this article besides the dignity and reputation of Syracuse University Students.

We thought it would be a great time to talk politics while some Cuse students downed their Keystone Light.

These are the actual answers they gave us.

Round one: Name all the candidates

• “Donald Trump”
• “Bernie”
• “O’Malley”
• “Hillary CLITon”
• “Raul Paul HE’S SO TINY”
• “Marco Rubio”
• “Chris Chrispy is definitely a candidate this semester, the guy with dark hair”
• “Feronia”

Oops no one actually remembered Jeb Bush.

Round two: Fuck Marry Kill – Hillary, Trump, Bernie

• “Marry Marco Rubio because he is very handsome, Fuck Bernie so I can FEEL THE BERN, Kill Hillary.”
• “Marry Trump for his money, Fuck Hillary because she’s a woman and I like those, Kill Bernie.”

Round three: Which candidate would you let rush your frat?

• “Trump you know why? Because he’s so cute.”
• “Trump doesn’t drink so not him. Bush is a legacy at DKE, he’s probably going to go in another direction. So I think I’m going to go with Kasich.”
• “Definitely Donald but maybe Bernie because he would definitely smoke us out all the time. I would definitely get fucked up with Bernie.”

Round four: Do you believe the US should put major effort into helping save Kim Miller after she was kidnapped in Paris in 2008?

(Kim Miller is the name of a fictional character in the movie Taken with Liam Nealson)

• “If I went missing I would want everyone to do everything they can to find me. We should go to Paris right now and get her. I studied abroad in France once that means I’m really good at French kissing if you want to hang-out in the bathroom together for a little bit I can show you.”
• “Idk who that is but we should go save her did you say she was kidnapped in Paris? What the fuck? That seems like a pretty safe country.”

Round five: Do you believe council to the king, Rafiki, will have any major contributions to helping end the spread of Ebola?

(Rafiki is the name of a fictional monkey in the movie The Lion King)

• “Yeah Ebola is pretty fucked up so I hope so but idk what his ideas and policies are but I hope so.”

Round six: Who are you voting for and why?

• “I’m torn between Bernie and Trump because they’re very similar on the issues but honestly like fuck Hillary Clinton because #Bengasi.”
• “I don’t know but if it’s a GOP candidate I don’t like I will write in G.W. Bush”

Round seven: What would you make the 69^th amendment?

“Legalize party drugs.”