Lianna Holston: Greek life + dating = Hercules?

What is UP, friendos.

I write you on this BEAUTIFUL day from (as always) CoHo, where, dare I say it, the Pumpkin Cinnamon Loaf may be the best it’s ever been. I am on my second coffee of the day (yolo), so if this post gets ~frazzled~ or ~way too candid~ you’ll know why. Also the tips of some of my fingers are numb thanks to the tiny, tiny microphones I was handling in rehearsal yesterday, so typing is a strange experience rn.

A few favorite things that happened this week:

Professor: “Today we’re gonna talk about Donald Trump.” Guy in the back: “YAS”

Shoutout to the girl in that same class who was so confidently eating cheez-its and spouting political science knowledge like nobody’s business damn you go girl.

Meredith & Liz. You know what you did.

Never in my life did I expect to see Aragorn’s rousing speech at the Black Gate from Lord of the Rings written in comic sans and handed to me on a sheet of paper during my Rhetoric of Musical Theatre PWR class, yet today that very event occurred.

MMM. What to talk about this week? Greek life? Dating at Stanford? People continuing to invade my table at CoHo? (Not you Elisa you’re great please stay forever.) ALL OF THE ABOVE? Go big or go home, amirite.

SO. Greek life! Frat stars! So soror! Other phrases! As a non-Greek member of Stanford but an active and enthusiastic participant in Greek events on campus, I have a few thoughts, presented in a handy Q&A format:

1. “All I know about Greek life is the negative stereotypes I’ve grown up hearing. Are they true?” I can’t speak for other colleges, but from my experience, they’re certainly not at Stanford. (At least, not always.) Greek life provides a great place for people on campus to socialize and congregate. Frats throw all campus parties, sororities do a lot of events involving pancakes, and let us not forget about those blessèd open kitchens. I did not rush (for a whole lotta reasons that I’ll save for another time), but have always felt welcome at Greek events. So welcome, in fact, that I’ve been called an honorary TriDelt, an honorary SigNu (lol hello boys), and even an accidental honorary Kappa one time.
2. “Yeah but it seems like I can’t have fun if I’m not in Greek life.” Untrue! Greek life is not the be all end all of social life on campus. Often people involved in these groups are the loudest about their weekend escapades – both in person and on Instagram – so it’s easy to feel like it is. BUT, there are a boatload of other activities to do on campus that do not involve ending up at sigma nu.
3. “I didn’t get invited to formal. What happens now?” Your liver thanks you and you move on with your life.

NEXT. Dating at Stanford. I’m not gonna lie, it sucks sometimes (lol most of the time). Here are some (maybe brutally) honest things that I like to remind myself/that people yell at me when I’m feeling bummed about ~romance.~ Also I’m a straight lady but sub in whatever gender pronoun you desire because this shit is universally applicable.

1. “He liked my Facebook status. Does that mean he ~likes~ me?” Probably not. Sorry.
2. “Why does no one want to date me?” Ugh. Chances are, someone actually does want to and just hasn’t had the guts to say anything. The best thing you can do is go on with being your fabulous self, and somebody out there won’t be able to resist your effervescence (ooh, fun word). Also: dateability/popularity/hotness do not equate to decency as a human being. Stop using those as your forms of measurement for how much you value yourself.
3. “Ok cool so will telling myself these things over and over again fix the way I perceive myself?” Lol nope. But it will help! Love is SO hard. Personally, I always internalize the blame when things don’t work out with the ~men~ in my life. But oftentimes it has nothing to do with you. Maybe he’s not looking for a relationship. Maybe he’s just an idiot. The only thing that’s really in your control is how you handle and love YOURSELF in these situations. Because at the end of the day the person you spend the most time with is you. Work on that relationship before pursuing one with another equally as emotionally complex human being.

LAST: if you’re gonna try to share a table with me at CoHo at least ask first. (Again I am NOT talking about you Elisa you have been a joy to have here please know that)

In summary: frats and sororities are fun but not the only way to enjoy college, and they’re definitely not for everyone. People are complicated and there’s so much stuff happening in people’s lives that we don’t see nor do they tell us. Everyone’s got insecurities. Everyone’s dealing with /a lot/ at any given time. So give good hugs and don’t be a dick to people.

No one says it better than Polonius in Act I Scene 3 of Hamlet: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”

I’m here for you. As are so many others. But you’ve got to be here for you, too.

Lianna “honestly v concerned about the amount of caffeine in my body right now” Holston