Meet the Stanford Football Class of 2020
A layperson’s guide to the incoming recruits
K.J. Costello | Quarterback | 6’5 | Coto de Caza, CA
Potentially excellent at covers of Macklemore songs.
Curtis Robinson | Outside Linebacker | 6’3 | Irvine, CA
Quite possibly currently giggling at a fart joke he just made.
Clark Yarbrough | Offensive Tackle | 6’6 | Rumson, NJ
Could pass for Ukropina’s younger, grumpier brother.
Treyjohn Butler | Cornerback / Safety | 5’11 | Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Most intriguing t-shirt.
Kaden Smith | Tight End | 6’5 | Flower Mound, TX
From the most absurdly-named place in the bunch.
Michael Williams | Defensive End / Tackle | 6’2 | Fort Worth, TX
Concerned you don’t think his “one-strap backpack” style is cool.
Simi Fehoko | Wide Receiver | 6’4 | Sandy, UT
Pleased to meet you too.
Obi Eboh | Cornerback | 6’2 | Southlake, TX
Recognizes that you just told a joke. Has no intention of laughing at it.
Scooter Harrington | Tight End | 6’5 | Riverside, CT
Funnest name.
Bo Peek | Defensive Tackle | 6’3 | Tampa, FL
Most likely to have lost his sheep.
Devery Hamilton | Offensive Tackle | 6’7 | Ellicott City, MD
DID SOMEONE SAY HAMILTON??? *sings the opening number from Hamilton: An American Musical*
Paxton Segina | Wide Receiver | 6’4 | Austin, TX
May or may not be engaged.
Thomas Schaffer | Defensive End | 6’7 | Vienna, Austria
Strongest pout.
Tangaloa Kaufusi | Outside Linebacker | 6’3 | Salt Lake City, UT
Optimistically, the Troy Bolton of 2020. Hey, they went to the same high school. It could happen.
Trevor Speights | Running Back | 5’11 | McAllen, TX
Most energetic hair.
Jovan Swann | Defensive End / Tackle | 6’2 | Greenwood, IN
Easiest name to write a poem about.
Andrew Pryts | Safety | 6’1 | Hermitage, PA
Most likely to transfer to Penn State.
Donald Stewart | Wide Receiver | 6’4 | Hillside, NJ
Most likely to win a staring contest through charming you into blinking.
Henry Hattis | Offensive Tackle | 6’6 | Rio Rancho, NM
Flowiest hair.
Nathaniel Herbig | Offensive Guard | 6’4 | Kalaheo, HI
Most likely to have recently learned that HumBio can’t be taken pass/fail.
Jet Toner | Kicker / Punter | 6’3 | Honolulu, HI
Most likely to have been named after printer ink.
Malik Antoine | Cornerback | 5’11 | Baton Rouge, LA
Most likely to have been saying “mm” when this photo was taken.
Dylan Powell | Offensive Guard | 6’3 | New London, MO
Most interesting choice of backdrop.
Richard McNitzky | Long Snapper | 6’1 | San Antonio, TX
Most likely to play a position I didn’t know existed in football until just now.
Dorian Maddox | Running Back | 5’10 | Bowie, MD
Most likely to have just found out that Smash was cancelled after only two seasons
Welcome to The Farm, young ones. See you in September.