Everyone on Stanford Confessions who’s having a worse Valentine’s Day than you

Who doesn’t love a holiday dedicated towards celebrating romantic love?

Cheers to those of you who buy into all the Hershey’s Chocolate Kisses and flowers (that wither). Good for you. For those of you who are celebrating Singles Awareness Day, always remember that candy is half-price off the day after. Also realize, that being alone on Valentine’s Day is simply the same as any other other day of your life.

When you think you have it bad, at least you’re not dealing with these issues your fellow friends at Stanford are going through. Here are some Stanford Confessions from people who have it way worse than you.

Happy Valentine’s

Little Miss Sunshine

#2087: I used to live by three things: pussy, money, and weed. actually, not that much money but that’s just a detail, not useful, we’ll keep it in there. Since I got here (to Stanford), I’ve had 0 hash until literally three days ago and I already finished half of it. Sorry I have an addictive personality. And zero meaningful sex. Their fault for not giving it to me. That sounds very rapey. I hate my studies. People here are boring. I’ve also gained a lot of weight. Goddamn liberals shoving their political correctness down my throat. I hate rich people. I also hate the middle class. I hate the goddamn rooms. I hate the cold. So fucking cold here. I miss good food. I miss my family. I hate people who let me get away with my facial hair. I looked like a pedophile. And I hate the goddamn queer culture here. I also don’t like the beer here. I actually don’t like any beer. I don’t even drink beer in Morocco. People who bike on the fucking sidewalks. It could be legal, it’s still a douchebag move. And those are fighting words. All my shoes got fucked up, and when I asked for a cobbler, a goddamn Russian told me to go back to Morocco for a cobbler. I like the coffee. That’s it, we’re done.

Guilty resident

#1392: my RA walked in on me having sex with the RCC….they’re dating.

Stressed-out roommate

#1468: I THINK MY ROOMMATE GOT SO STRESSED OUT AND ATE HER GOLD EARRINGS WHEN DRUNK. OH MY GOD. WHAT DO I DO? DO I TELL HER TO LOOK IN HER SHIT?

C Student

#1224 I hooked up with my TA last quarter…ended up being the only one with a C in the class. #awkward

Dirty fingernails

#1122 You may have thought your very extended head-scratching of your significant other during lecture was adorable… but all I could think about was the build-up of his dead skin gradually accumulating and compacting under your fingernails.

Last but not least, for all the single girls

#1559: Before I start, I want to make something clear:

No, I’m not a bad looking girl being spiteful. I am, at the very least, decent looking.

I am so tired of the girls at Stanford emphasizing looks as their first priority. I came to Stanford hoping to finally meet girls who were ambitious and wanted more out of life than to just be pretty and marry rich men. I feel like I’ve met girls like that, but the majority of girls I hang out with are not. Yes, you meet girls studying all sorts of cool things and wanting interesting careers, but at the end of the day, sometimes it feels like their first priority is putting on good makeup. I feel like there is something to be said, no matter how good or bad looking you are, for being comfortable stepping out of the house looking terrible.

It just means you know you are worth more than just your looks, and most of the girls I hang out with don’t even go over to late night in their pyjamas. I feel weird in my group of girls because it can sometimes sound like life to them is a race to get a good boyfriend. Even the ones who have only been single for a few weeks are desperately looking for new guys. Why do you need a boyfriend so badly? I never hear my single guy friends obsessing over how girls don’t like them. Even girls who are very good looking are just sitting there obsessing about boys and makeup and hair and nails instead of using the very smart brains that got them to Stanford. It frustrates me. I know a huge part of it is just the company I’ve kept though.

You girls are geniuses, get up, realize that it’s not the end of the world if you graduate without a boyfriend, and that you’re not single because you’re not pretty enough, maybe you just haven’t found someone that likes your PERSONALITY a lot. Ever thought of that? Learn to love yourself and be the best “you” you can be, and guys will be chasing you even if you aren’t the best looking girl in the world!