Why I hate Gerlanda’s

As a Rutgers student, I have very little needs. In a day, I need to sleep, attend my lectures, do my assignments, listen to some music, have some food and something to drink, and then sleep again. It’s just a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to get out of. Almost every move of each day is planned for me for the rest of the semester. The only variable being what food I am going to have and what will I drink. So whenever I get the time to do any of those two things, I need it to be good.

Now, usually, I prefer to have Indian food at home. Eating out is just getting irritating. It’s honestly just a lot of wasted time – there are idiots everywhere making animal voices, and ungodly music that gives me a headache. Then add the obligation to socialize if someone tags along without an invitation. That’s just painful. So the day I go out to have something to eat or drink, I expect it to be more than just good.

Places like Burger King, Subway, Nirvanis, Stuff Yer Face and Chipotle don’t let me down in terms of food. They are always mouth-wateringly delicious. A bite of their recipe is like little pieces of heaven in my mouth. I transform into a content, joyful, and carefree college student.

Never disappoints

So by now, you must know just how big a deal it is to me that everything I get the chance to eat simply tastes good. But being tasteless is a complete understatement when it comes to Gerlanda’s.

You should be ashamed of yourself

I still curse myself for the first time I had a slice of Margherita pizza from Gerlanda’s. The crust alone was drier than the Sahara. I could have chewed steen with the effort I put in to chew that thing. And don’t even get me started with the cheese. It was plain and stinky. Tomato? I don’t think so. The first bite was more torturous than getting on the LX during rush hour. I was forced to spit it out the moment I put that thing in my mouth. I couldn’t even swallow it. It made me sick to my stomach. But you know what the worst part of Gerlanda’s is? The fact that they are everywhere. They’re at pretty much every Rutgers event and are always right there basically laughing in my face.

Does this really look appetizing to you!?

My second desperate encounter with Gerlanda’s was no better than the first. I had just come out of class and had some time before going to another class. I needed something to keep me functioning at my prime before I let about a week of restlessness and a day of hunger throw me off my hardly maintained balance into complete chaos. So I decided to get a coffee from across the counter. Why? Because I thought maybe I was too hard on Gerlanda’s and I should give the franchise another chance. And guess what happened? They screwed me over, again. I am so angry at myself that I made the mistake of giving that shitty place another chance. It tasted like the water from the communal shower drains was boiled, mixed with some dirt and packed up in a disturbingly ugly cup. I let my emotions get the better of me and let my guard down, only to be screwed over by a crappy pizza joint. Never again.