Why I’ll always be thankful for my Filipino family

Within my immediate family, I’m the first to be born in America. I’m the kid of two Filipino immigrants, and I’ve never been as proud of my heritage as much as I am now. The Philippines is a country rich in history, culture and beauty, and although it definitely has its fair share of problems, I think I can honestly say I’ve got the best of both of worlds. I can’t speak for every Filipino-American, but here’s why I’m always going to be grateful to my parents and family for making me the way I am.

The best family in the best homeland.

Life is always a party –  always

You greet everyone with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, you bless the elders, sniff kiss the babies. Bring out the food and loud laughter. Even if it’s not an actual gathering and you’re just seeing your family casually on the street, that’s how you say hello and that’s how you say goodbye.  When you’re Filipino, your entire life is filled with fun, family and food.

Speaking of… the food is AMAZING

We’ve got awesome cuisine from all over our archipelago, including but not limited to: lechon, lumpia, barbecue, sinigang, chicken adobo, pancit, bibingka, arroz caldo, mango and coconut everything, turon, sisig, ube, pan de sal, ensaymada, polvoron, the heavenly goodness that is halo halo, Jollibee (the Filipino McDonald’s) and of course, RICE. All of this sounds amazing, but we’ve also got things like dinuguan and balut (google those), which honestly might not be that high on the list of favorites for most people. With family, your mom, titas and lolas will never purposely let you starve. I guarantee it.

We also like to pose with our lechon.

The culture is colorful, crazy, and fun

I could talk about the more traditional parts of Filipino culture like the tinikling dance, Sinulog, the martial art of eskrima, or the Barong, the national dress of the Philippines. But on a regular basis, the Filipino-American culture is line dancing, watching teleseryes (soap operas), singing karaoke, running on Filipino time, weird nicknames, and of course, Manny Pacquiao, our national treasure.

General Fil-Am vernacular might consist of English mixed with other Filipino languages.

It doesn’t matter if it’s grammatically correct or not, you might be saying things like, “He always gets me so kilig,” “New Jersey drivers are bastos as hell,” or “You look so pangit today.” Sometimes you say straight up Filipino phrases like “Bahala ka,” aka “Suit yourself,” in Tagalog, or “Putang ina,” for times when you really want to insult someone.

Fun fact: There are over 200 languages and dialects in the Philippines, and I can fluently speak none.

Your family is your biggest support system

The best running joke in Filipino culture is the one where you’re related to everyone. Except it’s not really a joke because even when you’re not actually related to someone, you’re related to them. You call your parents’ friends “tito” and “tita,” and as if you’re extended family isn’t big enough as it is, your non-related family might be even bigger. It can be overwhelming at times, but no matter what, you’ve always got people who care about you and love you unconditionally.

This isn’t even 1/4 of my family. And this is just the non-related ones that live in the US.

But I’ll always be thankful for my parents’ sacrifice

All of these are fun things I’m glad to have in my life. But as the child of immigrants, I can’t forget all of the things my parents gave up in order to have a better life for themselves, their families, and their kids. My parents came to the United States (legally, mind you) to chase that fabled American dream. From my parents hometown of Cebu City to my hometown of Piscataway, NJ is 8,741 miles. Plane tickets are expensive and often my parents go years without seeing family. They gave up everything they knew to come to a large, unfamiliar country where they faced ridicule, racism, and hard times, all while having to miss life events and struggles of their siblings.

L to R: My mom, me, my dad, my sister

So to my parents, if you’re reading this, because I know that you guys love reading everything I write, I want to thank you. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. I know sometimes I don’t appreciate it, sometimes I get so caught up in the comfortable life you gave up so much of yourself for me to have. But now that I’m older and in college and I see the effects of what moving this far away has done to you, I understand a little more. I’ll never be able to grasp it completely, and I’m so, so sorry that I make you feel so estranged sometimes with how “American” I am, not even realizing my own privilege.

But I love you both, and you guys inspire me all the time. Words can’t accurately express that. Your past and present sacrifices and the work you continue to do push me to do my best in everything I can, and to honor you guys since I’ll never experience the kinds of hardships you went through. But I promise that no matter what happens, I’ll do whatever I can to make your pain and struggle worth it.