The struggles of being the perpetually single girl

You know that late to the party feeling? Well, for me it’s like people have been holding this lovey-dovey matchmaking party every year since 6th grade and I was that nerd who never got an invite.

I was thankful for the few friends who shared the same pain as me, but the years went by and one-by-one they all went to the dark side of Facebook — the “in a relationship” status. To put it less dramatically, I’m a single pringle. I am not only outside of the loop that is relationships, I can’t even see the loop.

Or maybe the problem is that I can see it. Too clearly and too often.

While everybody else is planning what to give their SO for their six month anniversary, I’m just chilling with my cat like: “is it legal to marry you yet?” (I mean we already live together). If I’m not third-wheeling in person, then I’m third-wheeling as they text, making my existence quickly forgotten. Even in the middle of a couple’s spat, I don’t get a break. I have to hear all about why pooky bear is getting the silent treatment until he says some poetic bullshit that makes her forget about how he watched their show without her.

Sometimes my cat just isn’t enough for me to overcome the grossness that is couples. Too big a dose makes you a little crazy sometimes. During the Valentines day hype, my bestie and I had a running theory that our future husbands died a long time ago in freak accidents. The love in the air is toxic, I swear.

If I had a nickel for every time a couple slayed me with their PDA, I wouldn’t owe Rutgers one penny after graduation. They’d owe me, if anything. Then again, even holding hands is too much for my fragile heart to handle.

Recently, I couldn’t even have a moment’s peace in my dorm elevator. Of course the people who think PDA stands for Please Display Affection were going to the same floor as me — of course. Then, when it’s not the adorable couples making me cringe, it’s everything else surrounding me. Practically every song I listen to reminds me of this mysterious world I don’t live in where there’s somebody who tells me what makes me beautiful, loves me like they’re gonna lose me and is willing to say sorry.

And it doesn’t just end at songs. Movies and shows almost always have the most passionate love lines and enviable romances. Did it ever occur to the writers that people like me don’t need yet another source to let me know I’m missing something clearly so important that everybody needs to be thinking about it every second of every day?

Well, I realized recently, maybe relationships aren’t the all-important need people make it out to be. It used to bother me when my parents told me “you have all the time in the world,” but now I actually think they’re right. Being the perpetually single one among people who are happily in relationships doesn’t have to be a sad existence. A matter of fact, being the single one has a lot of advantages. Sure, we can’t demand cuddles from anyone besides our pet, body pillow or bestie, but we can have one heck of a time improvising.

Besides, while couples are busy bickering and tearing at each others hearts, I can be busy studying and preparing for the real world. I consider it just my luck that I’m escaping the possibility of the scarring heartbreak that tends to come with the college boyfriend phase.I may be a potato holding a record of 20 years single, but somebody will come eventually. Like my parents always say, I have time.