Did freshman year live up to my expectations?

I graduated from a small high school that had less than 500 students enrolled in total. It was a small, boring town and a majority of the people I was in school with were narrow minded and didn’t look at the big picture like I did. To put it frankly, I had a miserable time.

I knew for that exact reason, I wanted to go to a huge school where I had the potential to make new friends who were hardworking and accepting, a big campus that I could keep exploring and discovering, a school with lots of events, activities, clubs, and parties so I was never bored, and a reputable school with challenging academics. I was sick of life in the small, gossipy town I lived in and a change of pace was much deserved and needed.

I worried that I was setting the bar too high. I felt that if I just kept visualizing what life would be like as a college student that I would entirely misconstrue what life was really like and be disappointed. I wondered if I would make friends, if I would do well in my classes, if I would get homesick often, if I would meet the right guy, if I would have my shit together, if I would be happy.

The night before move-in day I got no sleep whatsoever. All I was asking myself was, “What was I thinking? Why am I moving away? Why couldn’t I just play it safe like nearly everyone else from my town and commute to a local school? Will my roommate like me? Will I know which bus to get on? Will I have any friends?” I was a poorly rested, frazzled, nervous wreck. I piled my whole life into my mom’s Volkswagen, said bye to my dad, my twin brother and my cat, and the town I grew up in. I was blasting the air conditioning in the car but I still felt like I was melting. My heart was fluttering. I started begging my mom to please turn the car around, to please stop the car. She tried her best to pacify me despite my protests but before I knew it I was in New Brunswick.

a very nervous Joanna on move-in day

Shortly after moving into my dorm on College Ave was New Student Convocation. They put all of us freshmen on one side of the football stadium and we went through the typical rites. I looked around and realized every single person sitting around me was going through the same thing, and they surely had the same doubts and uncertainty racing through their heads prior to their arrival, too. I was receiving compliments left and right about my hair, eyes, outfit, and everyone was so funny, kind, and easy to make conversation with.

After we left the stadium, we had carnival. Smiling faces greeted us, along with free stuff, cotton candy machines, ring toss, prizes, and bouncy houses. It all seemed so surreal, a bunch of adults jumping around in bouncy houses on our first day of college. By the time I left that night, I had already made countless friends and felt incredibly relieved that my first day of college went so swimmingly.

That first day was nerve wracking and seemed to stretch on for forever, but I still look back on it warmly. The days turned to weeks, then months, and now I’m in my second semester of college.

For the first time in my life, I’m excited to learn, to read for class. I love meeting and interacting with new people. While there are some inconveniences about Rutgers I complain about routinely, the amount of opportunities I have been given and memories I’ve made is nothing in comparison to the annoyance of going to the best school in the world. I had very high standards set, and Rutgers has exceeded all my expectations by tenfold.

When I look back at pictures of me taken this summer, I realize I have definitely changed as a person, but for the better. I’m self assured, more articulate, calm, and put together. I look at things in a different way. I’m more independent and I now laugh at myself for how nervous I was in the beginning, because first semester was the best few months of my life, and I really had nothing to freak out about. Everything falls into place and you find your rhythm and your way fairly quickly, so no need to worry. Trust me.

Should any prospective Rutgers students be reading this, know that this school has felt more like home than any other place I’ve lived. If you decide to enroll here, you will not be disappointed. In fact, it may be the best decision you ever make in your life. I know it was for me.

To my friends, thank you for having my back at all hours, regardless of whether or not I’m drunk, sober, happy, sad, and everything in between. All of you have played a fundamental part in my memories and helped to make everyday lit. You’re all gems.

To my roommate Molly, thank you for dealing with my shit nearly round the clock. You’re the best roommate anyone could ask for and I feel immensely #blessed to know you are willingly going to live with me again next year. I love you, I guess.

And of course, thank you to Rutgers, which has been the catalyst that helped me change for the better, save me from boring small town life, for helping me become #woke, for helping me to find my lifelong friends, helping me discover new areas of interest, and subsequently helping me to have the best few months of my life. I fall more in love with you each day and the next seven semesters I still have here will be cherished.

Student today, Scarlet forever.