The lecture drinking game
Do alcohol and education mix? Probably not, tbh
Want some very useful tips on how to make class a little more interesting? OK. So let’s be honest, no matter how much you adore learning and getting a proper education, sitting idly in a classroom for a minimum of 80 minutes listening to your 65-year-old professor go on about how much he loves Mitochondria can get boring.
I mean we only sit through those lectures and commit that time to study so that by the end of the day we can go and get drunk with our friends. So in the great words of the little girl that is in the Taco Cabana commercials “Why not do both?”
OK maybe testing my theory out in class may not have been the best idea for my reputation but YOLO (please dont judge me after saying that in 2016). So for all of you dying of boredom, try the lecture drinking game.
Just try not to throw up.
Take a shot for every person who came unprepared without a notebook or laptop or writing utensil.
Lets be honest going to class the first day unprepared is risky, but when the professor jumps from the Syllabus to Chapter 1, you’re really gonna struggle. Ae you going to pull that shit on syllabus week?
Every time you see someone snapchatting or binge watching greys anatomy in Bio thinking it will be just as helpful as the lesson: Down that flask!
Chug that flask every time the professor goes off tangentially about how much they hate their significant other: And the only thing we should learn from coming college is never to make such a long commitment.
Take a shot every time you hear this phrase from the professor: “OK Class hand in the paper that was due today”
Bonus points: Take one shot for every student you hear say “fuck” underneath their breath because they forgot to finish the paper.
Down your drink every time the professor jumps to the next slide before you finish writing.
That was great. I was feeling great. Now I can’t see what I’m supposed to write. Thanks.
Alternatively, take a shot when you realise all the slides are going to be online.
You’ve been working extremely hard, typing everything up, the entire lecture’s slides. Then the professor casually mentions that they’ll all be uploaded after class. We know the pain, kill it with alcohol.
Two sips to kill the embarrassment when the professor says something is “on the syllabus”.
“Hey, I had a question about whether the exam gets cur — ” “Check the syllabus, that’s why it’s made.” “Thanks.”
By this time, you should be feeling a little bit tipsy. The lecture theatre should be looking a little bit blurry. No? Just me?
Finish the flaskk!
Whenever you;re staring at the professor talking but then realize that you are too drunk inn class tha t you forgot everything thwy saidd.