Purdue to merge with Indiana University in sweeping IU-PU network expansion
Any further changes that will occur for the newly merged school now known as IUPUWL will be posted on GroupMe
In an unbelievable session between school trustees from Purdue and Indiana University, an agreement was made the afternoon of March 31 to reflect “more unity and harmony in the Indiana public university landscape” according to President Mitch Daniels. The ruling was a unanimous decision on both sides hoping to start the merger soon over the next two weeks before the start of the summer session.
The first rule of business will be to dismantle the Grand Prix tradition for the more favorable Little 500. “I think it will make our students as well-behaved as the IU students are during this event,” explained one of the trustees who stated repeatedly that he did not want to be named. However, to maintain the legitimacy of IU’s Little 500, the committee decided to call this one “Kinda-Small 499” in hopes that it will spark the same excitement.
Students at Purdue have had no reaction to this decision, mainly because no one has told them yet. “We plan on telling them when the time is right,” says President Daniels, “I think they’ll like our new colors — gold and crimson — as much as I do.” Daniels wants to celebrate the transition with a fun, friendly game of Wheel of Fortune between the new line of command.
Bars around town have decided to pack up and move out of West Lafayette. They have all mentioned because they have praised Purdue for so long that without the established university, they will no longer be relevant.
There is, of course, a glimmer of hope for Purdue students. The school will reflect the same GPA system as IU. Because of this change, now 90% of the campus has a 3.8 GPA or above.
Indiana University did say it will keep one important Purdue tradition that they know that their students in West Lafayette would appreciate. “We understand that this is a sudden change, but we want to make it as painless as possible,” motions Indiana University President Michael McRobbie, “We will begin construction of new buildings made of brick, of course, over the next 8 years.” The first building to be built will be a giant replica of the Kelley School of Business on what will be formerly known as Memorial Hall. The construction should be done by the beginning of 2018, but is estimated to be done by 2040.
Any further changes that will occur for the newly merged school now known as IUPUWL will be posted on GroupMe.
Check the date.